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DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN CULTURAL LIMBO AS AN EXPAT?
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stevemcgarrett



Joined: 24 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 10:24 pm    Post subject: DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN CULTURAL LIMBO AS AN EXPAT? Reply with quote

This question has been bothering me for quite some time now. Back home in the States I feel out of place because of what I perceive to be too much vulgar individualism and just plain vulgarity. By this I mean the rising, democratically-distorted notion that my need to express myself, however debased, outweighs the community's interests. The relentless trash-talking, the airing one's dirty laundry like it was fine linen, the conversion of media to soft porn, parents who forget to discipline as they try to be their child's friend, the emulation of gangsta rappers, the junk food diet, the sexualization of pre-pubescent teens, the pervasiveness of the jock mentality in the schools, the privileging of money over education, the constant search for one's 15 minutes of fame and the need to feel validated, etc., etc.

Then I come to East Asia, at this moment Korea, and I am bombarded with vulgar collectivism. Banality abounding, the turning of youthful brains into porridge, the lock-step march to the examination room, the ceaseless competition for social status through the emulation of what is perceived to be proper behavior, the stifling of creativity in general for the sake of compliance and face-saving, the brow-beating of parents that makes college students co-dependent, the devaluing of the female gender, the insistence on nationalist allegiance even to the extent of choosing what car or cell phone to buy, the almost paranoid xenophobia and blind prejudice, the making of automatons in the office work place, the wasting of youthful energy in senseless late night cramming rather than more productive outlets, and on an on.

Ensnared, and caught between two extremes of cultural gravitation, in other words. Neither wanting one set of dictates or the other and knowing with increasing chagrin that a melding of the two sets of cultural norms is what is most desperately needed now but knowing there is a lack of cultural reciprocity, in that most in America (and the West as a whole) make little effort to learn from the East while the latter strives to compromise in some sectors of its societies.

Has anyone else felt this way and, if so, how do you deal with it?
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jdog2050



Joined: 17 Dec 2006

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:01 am    Post subject: Re: DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN CULTURAL LIMBO AS AN EXP Reply with quote

stevemcgarrett wrote:
This question has been bothering me for quite some time now. Back home in the States I feel out of place because of what I perceive to be too much vulgar individualism and just plain vulgarity. By this I mean the rising, democratically-distorted notion that my need to express myself, however debased, outweighs the community's interests. The relentless trash-talking, the airing one's dirty laundry like it was fine linen, the conversion of media to soft porn, parents who forget to discipline as they try to be their child's friend, the emulation of gangsta rappers, the junk food diet, the sexualization of pre-pubescent teens, the pervasiveness of the jock mentality in the schools, the privileging of money over education, the constant search for one's 15 minutes of fame and the need to feel validated, etc., etc.

Then I come to East Asia, at this moment Korea, and I am bombarded with vulgar collectivism. Banality abounding, the turning of youthful brains into porridge, the lock-step march to the examination room, the ceaseless competition for social status through the emulation of what is perceived to be proper behavior, the stifling of creativity in general for the sake of compliance and face-saving, the brow-beating of parents that makes college students co-dependent, the devaluing of the female gender, the insistence on nationalist allegiance even to the extent of choosing what car or cell phone to buy, the almost paranoid xenophobia and blind prejudice, the making of automatons in the office work place, the wasting of youthful energy in senseless late night cramming rather than more productive outlets, and on an on.

Ensnared, and caught between two extremes of cultural gravitation, in other words. Neither wanting one set of dictates or the other and knowing with increasing chagrin that a melding of the two sets of cultural norms is what is most desperately needed now but knowing there is a lack of cultural reciprocity, in that most in America (and the West as a whole) make little effort to learn from the East while the latter strives to compromise in some sectors of its societies.

Has anyone else felt this way and, if so, how do you deal with it?


Go to mongolia. No, really. Completely refreshing culture there. Very individualist, but with true, heartfelt help, especially out on the steppes.
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Demophobe



Joined: 17 May 2004

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:39 am    Post subject: Re: DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN CULTURAL LIMBO AS AN EXP Reply with quote

stevemcgarrett wrote:


Has anyone else felt this way and, if so, how do you deal with it?


Not my circus, not my monkeys.
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inkakola



Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Location: hbc

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:44 am    Post subject: Cultural limbo Reply with quote

I totally agree with you about all the things wrong with American society, but what was the reason you moved to the other side of the planet? was it to find what you already knew you wanted to get away from? and which do you prefer? are you seeking a perfect society? i find a lot of the Korean culture to be refreshing, especially since i was a teacher back in the states. but at the same time, being here has taught me to appreciate individuality and to be glad that i come from a place where it is encouraged, no matter the societal consequences.
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PimpofKorea



Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Location: Dealing in high quality imported English

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Culture sucks...money is good....hence I stay
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stevemcgarrett



Joined: 24 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

demophobe:

If it's not your circus, then pull up your tent poles and move to another thread. And take your monkey act with you.

jdog:

Ya know, I heard mention made of that once in a bar in Beijing from a bevy of Mongolian ladies of the evening. They spoke some English and Russian; no Chinese. Also heard it from a friend here in Korea who recently traveled there. But isn't corruption of the former Commie government rampant there? Perhaps I could live in a yurt.

Anyway, I'm not trying to escape something bad or find something better. Utopian I'm not: just whimsical about what a balanced society would look like. Perhaps I should venture into Scandanavia? Any leads on that?
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rothkowitz



Joined: 27 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's not a great value placed on individualism here........versus the excesses of individualism in most western places....

The female howling soundtrack on game shows versus Britneys' coochie.Blech. Confused

Find culture where you can.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's just a thought, but maybe the OP would be happier if less time were spent being judgemental.
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numazawa



Joined: 20 Mar 2005
Location: The Concrete Barnyard

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

PimpofKorea wrote:
Culture sucks...money is good....hence I stay


That's what I like about you, Pimp: your stable. Razz


BTW, Steve, I don't think Demophobe was pissing on your thread but just looking to sum up one take on how to "deal with" Korean culture: i.e., it's not my show, I'll watch it, then I'll go.

I mean, it's not like he said something like this. Wink
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captain kirk



Joined: 29 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How do Koreans get hooked on Kimchi? So that, when travelling to Thailand, say, they must bring along spicy ramyon? As if kimchi is the sword of excalibur! How does it come about, this old boys, old school firm belief in the uberKorean-ness? From a foreigner's perspective there's nothing worth worshipping in a mess of fermented cabbage! But kimchi and other traditional vital fluids of Korean identity seem to be shared around the metaphorical community campfire so often, so heartily, that Koreans and their kit are the finest warriors. The tall tales of the virtues of Korean Identity kit are etched in stone. At some point in a Korean's life reality becomes Korean Superiority. Being a communal culture the rah rah is reciprocated, amplified, quadruplified.

Is this UberKorean-ness supposed to bother me personally, then, when it seems to me to be expressed as racism and xenephobia? Dammit, they don't know what racism or xenephobia is anymore! There may have been a time, at the age of ten, when the mind was open to 'the outside'. And I have the pleasure of working with kids!

Other countries amplify the merits of their national identity to the max, too. The OP is excellent! The writer depicts a lot of NOISE here, and there. Cultural, summary noise. Peaceful state of mind to pause and examine a life, state of mind, cross-cultural differences. I vote here for now. There is a lot of cultural NOISE stateside, too!
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Fresh Prince



Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: The glorious nation of Korea

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your not the only one that feels that way.

Many people who share your thoughts have considered the thought of migrating to another country, where there are larger populations of people who think progressively, if such a country exists. Many Americans migrate to Canada or another English speaking country. But where does that leave your home country? A loss of forward thinkers would cause the insanity to only increase as there would be fewer and fewer people to add a voice of reason?

The historical way of dealing with this phenomenon is to write a book.
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jdog2050



Joined: 17 Dec 2006

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

stevemcgarrett wrote:
demophobe:

If it's not your circus, then pull up your tent poles and move to another thread. And take your monkey act with you.

jdog:

Ya know, I heard mention made of that once in a bar in Beijing from a bevy of Mongolian ladies of the evening. They spoke some English and Russian; no Chinese. Also heard it from a friend here in Korea who recently traveled there. But isn't corruption of the former Commie government rampant there? Perhaps I could live in a yurt.

Anyway, I'm not trying to escape something bad or find something better. Utopian I'm not: just whimsical about what a balanced society would look like. Perhaps I should venture into Scandanavia? Any leads on that?


In Ulaanbaatar...yes; but as a foreigner, it isn't really likely to touch you all that much. In fact, things that are still a pain in the ass here in Korea, like getting a VISA, are cheap and easy over there. The corruption is starting to leak in because of gold mining money and money thrown at them from the IMF with little oversight.

But that's Ulaanbaatar, and frankly, even though I liked UB's brand of sketchiness, it's a place you'll want to leave anyway. The steppes is where it's at. Go live in a Ger, maybe find a little shanty town and go teach, ride horses and herd sheep.
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Reflections



Joined: 04 Jan 2005

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent post.

I think the answer to your problems lies in finding some middle ground, like spending some time in a country that isn't as polarised as the Korea and America you described.

After my first year here some time ago, I saved 15 million won and took a trip from Tijuana down to Colombia. It took over one year and I blew a good portion of that cash, but after Korea it was the most refreshing experience to discover that the world has more shades of grey than I once thought - with of course some 'streaks of white' late at night on the coast of Costa Rica.
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twg



Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Location: Getting some fresh air...

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN CULTURAL LIMBO AS AN EXPAT?

Short answer: Yes.

Slightly longer answer: I make comics and run a blog. I'd be an outsider anywhere. It's kind of liberating, to be honest.
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4 months left



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

rothkowitz wrote:
There's not a great value placed on individualism here........versus the excesses of individualism in most western places.....


Individualsm such as fashion, voicing your opinion that differs from the masses, privacy or going against the grain...NO.

Individual greed for money and material things, keeping up or getting ahead of the Kim's even it means going grossly in debt is more prevalent here than Western society. Everything here is about cash and getting as much as you can at any cost. Does that happen in the West, yes but not as much as here.

Myths about Korean culture is that is a conservative, group society. What people say and do are two different things.

I think Korea is one country where you will never be allowed in no matter how long you live here. The long timers who live here that think that is BS are only kidding themselves. Some other countries will gladly welcome you in to their culture but that will never happen in any of our lifetimes in Korea.
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