Korean Job Discussion Forums

Brady · Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Location: Bucheon

Occasionally I'll get an English diary from one of my students talking about how their parent is a drunk and verbally/physically abuses them. Is there anything that can be done, or do I have to mind my own business?

cruisemonkey · Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 2:02 pm Post subject:

Mind your own business.

pdx · Joined: 19 Jan 2007

In the states, you would report it immediately, here it seems almost normal. My students laugh about it, and talk about it as if it's just another thing that happens in their daily life.

life is different here.

Corporal · Joined: 25 Jan 2003

A student once wrote, "I am sad because my father hit my mother, so she was sad, so she hit me" (or words to that effect). Shocked

Then again, I think the more knowing students sometimes write certain things to see if the teacher reacts to it or not.

Also, remembering some of the things I wrote in journals when I was a youngster--I'd hate to have any of that brought up as fact.

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

One of my students (15 years old) has a really abusive dad. He got in serious trouble earlier this week because he didn't want to go to church, but his dad is a serious Christian. So as punishment, his dad took his cell phone away. Which means I couldn't phone him for our phone lesson. This isn't the first time it's happened. I'm not sure how much they pay per month for phone lessons, but missing one is a substantial amount of money.

Yesterday my student told me he's in trouble again. Why? He returned a comic book to the store a couple days late and owes 300 won. His punishment? No allowance for a month.

I would give the dad a piece of my mind but it's totally not my place to. Instead i just hinted to the kid that his dad was being hypocritical.

jmbran11 · Joined: 19 Jan 2006 Location: U.S.

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

jmbran11 · Joined: 19 Jan 2006 Location: U.S.

Well, I'll be sympathetic to the beating part. But taking away the cell phone, big deal. It's hardly a vital organ.

OiGirl · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: Hoke-y-gun

I really don't think there's anything you can do in Korea if you suspect/know a student is being abused. The best thing you can do is listen to the kid and give them your emotional support. It's a completely different system here.

Dawn · Joined: 06 Mar 2004

Child abuse is a prosecutable offense over here, and there are agencies in place that are supposed to deal with it. The definition of abuse, however, is much, much narrower than in western countries. My first year, I had a kindergarten student come to school with welts and bruises literally all over her body where her mom had beaten her. My Korean co-teacher (who was almost as upset as I was) said that the police will get involved only if parents break bones or draw blood. She ended up confronting the mother herself and getting a verbal promise that it wouldn't happen again. ... Shortly thereafter, the family packed up and moved across the country.

OiGirl · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: Hoke-y-gun

Many things that we would have to report to the authorites as abusive in the US are perfectly ok here...sleeping with parents at all ages...Koreans might not do coining but use other therapies that leave bruises and marks that would have DSS on the scene on the double at home.

I would really like to hear first-hand experiences from foriegn teachers who actually got child protection intervantion from Korean authorities.

blaseblasphemener · Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 8:25 am Post subject:

I'm afraid it's completely out of our hands. The best we can do as foreigners is report it to our bosses, knowing that 99.999% of them will do nothing. After all, it'll mean one less student's tuition, and other parents might not like it either. It'll take Koreans to change things in their culture, period.

djsmnc · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

Some kids are annoying to the point that it almost seems they deserve to be hit. Unfortunately, the kids that get hit usually don't seem to deserve it.

Pak Yu Man · Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Location: The Ida galaxy

mindmetoo · Joined: 02 Feb 2004

One of my kids once, a bit of a class trouble maker, showed up for class and every single exposed part of his skin was beaten blue. His mother beat every surface of his arms and legs. In North America, you would surely call child protection services. But what can you do here? Call the cops? It's a parents right to beat his/her child, no?

1) Mention it to your Korean superior. In Korea, you follow the hierarchy. How dare you go over your boss's head.

2) Be a hero and go to the cops. Alright. So you get fired for shaming your boss and a customer. You fly home knowing you did the right thing, you fired the first shot, you accepted the consequences of trying to change Korean society and helping someone. Of course, the poor kid will probably get beaten even more, blamed for causing the hub bub.