Korean Job Discussion Forums

[seoul_nhl]

Might be an oldie but its a goodie!
A Newfie walks into the bathroom and starts taking a piss at one of the urinals. He looks over at the next urinal and see this black guy taking a piss.

Holy sh*t! Thats a huge black snake! The newfie says.

Thanks says the black guy.

How do I get one like that? The Newfie asks.

Well you tie a rope to a brick and attach to your d**k. Then walk around for a week answers the black guy.

A WEEK LATER IN THE SAME BATHROOM!
The Newfies at the urinal and sure enough the black guy from the week beore is using the urinal next to him.

The black guy asked so how did it work? Did your d**k get bigger?

The Newfie replied, "No but at least its black now!"

[swetepete]

With apologies...I love Newfoundlanders and Jews. Don't be mad.

A well-known Jewish man was strolling down the street in St. Johns. An angry Newfie steps up and punches him in the mouth, knocking him down. "Take that, Abe!" shouts the Newf.
"What the hell! Why'd you do that, Pat?" asks Abe.
"Yeh crucified our lord!" sputters the irate young Pat.
"But that was 2000 years ago, you idiot!"
"Well, I just found out about it yesterday!"

[Harpeau]

A Newfy approaches a brunette at Trapper John's on Water Street.

Hey lass, can I buy you a drink?

Sorry Newf, but I'm a lesbian.

What he hell's a lesbian?! He demands.
She replies pointing: Well, you see that blond over at the end of the bar? You know, I want to take her home, throw throw her on my bed, rip her clothes off and pour chocolate sauce on her naked body and lick it up!

Newf goes. errrrrhhhh!

She says. What's the matter Newf?

He says. I don't know, but I think I'm a lesbian, too!!

[Hanson]

Q: How do you get a one-armed Newfie out of a tree?

A: Wave.

[yawarakaijin]

How do you sink a Newfie submarine?

Knock on the door.

[swetepete]

A Toronto lawyer is driving through Newfoundland and sees something odd; some newfies in a field, building what appears to be a rocket ship. He pulls over.
"What are you building, fellas?"
"We're building a rocketship, b'y."
"But...it's made of wood...where are you planning on going?"
"Ah, we're goin' to the sun, b'y."
"But you'll burn up!"
"Aye, well, we're goin' at night, b'y."

[PEIGUY]

A Newfie goes into a bank to cash his pogey cheque. In comes a robber with a needle saying "Anybody moves i'll inject you with aids" The Newf scoffs at the robber and tries to walk out so the robber goes up to him and says" Did you not hear what I said?" Newf goes yes b'y and continues to walk past him. So the robber injected him and the Newfie starts laughing. THe robber perplexed said "Why are you laughing? I just injected you with aids" the Newf replies "I fooled you i'm wearing a condom"

[NilesQ]

One day a Newfie was at work at his new job in Alberta and he noticed that all the other men had their lunches in thermoses(sp?). So he asks his friend, "Hey, wats wit dem dere funny bottles?"
"Well it's a thermos," his friend says,"you put hot food in it and it stays hot, put cold food in it and it stays cold." The Newfie thought this was great and ran out and got a thermos that day after work. The next day at lunch his friends notice his new thermos and the Newfie proudly says" I got seafood chowder and a popcicle for lunch"

A Newfie an Albertan and a Quebecer are driving down the Trans Canada together. The Newfie throws a Lobster out the window. The Albertan and the Quebecer say what'd you do that for. The Newfie said "I got all the lobster I want in Newfoundland. I'm sick of it, it's everywhere you go in Newfoundland. It's nuttin' to me, bye".
They keep driving. Then the Quebecer throws a Poutine out the window. The Newfie and the Albertan protest and ask him why he threw it out. The Quebecer says, "I got poutine comming out my ass at home, it's everywhere in Quebec. I can have another whenever I want."They keep driving. Then the Albertan throws the Newfie out the window.

[R. S. Refugee]

What's a Newfie, anyway, eh?

[swetepete]

A blushing Newf goes to the Pharmasave to buy a box of condoms. It's his first time. He brings them up to the counter.
"That'll be 12.99, plus tax," says the shop-girl.
"Tacks!?!?" he shouts, horrified. "I thought they stayed on by themselves!"

[Greekfreak]

I'm married to a Newfie; by rights, I should be offended, but I'm not.

[RACETRAITOR]

[peppermint]

Bono is at a U2 concert in Halifax, Nova Scotia, when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then, in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. He says into the microphone, in a deep solemn voice...

"Just for a moment, think outside yourself...Outside this arena. Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A loud Newfie voice from near the front pierces the moment... "Well, Lard tunderin jasus, ya stunned arse, stop yer fookin' clappin', then!"

[seoul_nhl]

Newfie Joke

A Newfie is going icefishing. He starts to drill a hole with
his auger when a loud booming voice says "THERE'S NO FISH DOWN THERE!"
So he stops drilling and moves a little ways and starts to drill again.
The same voice booms "THERE'S NO FISH DOWN THERE!".
So he moves a little further and is about to drill again, but the voice
immediately comes again "THERE"S NO FISH THERE EITHER!".
The Newf looks around and says "Who are you anyways? God?"





"NO I'M THE ARENA MANAGER!"

[mt01ap]

Not my joke, but I'll contribute:

A bunch of Newfie rebels got angry with the government and threw hand grenades at the government.

The government workers pick up the grenades, took out the pins, and threw the grenades back at the Newfies.