Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mehamrick]

So tomorrow I am meeting the girlfriends father for the first time.. We have dated for over a year the rest of the family already knows about us. He just learned about it the other day and requested the meeting. So how did it go for you? those that are married or have girlfriends..

[eamo]

Pour him soju correctly and you're half-way there. No kidding.


Just show lots of respect. Many Korean men have a chip on their shoulder about 'Americans' taking their women.

With my parents-in-law the Mom wears the trousers so I had to impress her. Easy. I just ate everything put in front of me and declared everything to be mashisoyo!!! She beamed from ear-to-ear.

I think I said mashisoyo 3 thousand times that first weekend in her Mom's house.....

Oh yeah. Almost forgot. Tell her parents what you're planning to do with your career and how you are expecting to be obscenely rich soon. They'll love that.

[mehamrick]

Thanks.. yeah have the drinking customs down I have been in country for a couple years now. Her mom loves me its literally my second mom.. insanely rich.. she already has me beat on that one.. they are insanely rich and i didn't know about it until last week.. I always wondered where all the free eggs came from.. he didn't flip out when she told him. so i hope it goes well.. and they have traveled the world so he has or is keeping an open mind so far.. I am looking forward to it but damn i am nervous.. lol

[I-am-me]

Hope it goes good for you. One guy I know got beat up by the guys in the family so he would stay away from their daughter. It was a shame....they were both very in love. The parents even sent her to another part of korea so they would not have any contact. He knows where she lives now,but he has not ventured to see her yet.

[Homer]

Well...from my experience when first meeting my wifes dad...


Show the proper respect.

Understand proper etiquette when it goes to meeting her father. If it is over a meal understand the serving etiquette (ex: pourinhg drinks).....it will help heaps. Unless of course her dad puts you at ease right away....

As with others here, the mother was not a issue as she accepted me right away with no reservation. The dad was not nasty but he took a bit longer to warm up or show that he liked me. Longer being a few weeks and meetings. Nothing wrong with that really.

[mehamrick]

Thanks... I am definitely interested to see how this goes.. will give you an update tomorrow night. she just informed me its 6 people now. her mom dad brother his wife. but they all know me and like me.. ahh the catch I cant let dad know that though.. ahh the family politics.

[Qinella]

Just a general tip for making a good first impression: don't smile too much. Makes you look either fake or capricious.

[Newbie]

WEAR A SUIT!!!! Koreans are very easily impressed by one's physical appearance.

When my now father-in-law first heard about me he went on a month long soju bender. Wouldn't talk to my wife and pulled a lot of "she can do whatever she wants but I'm not gonna talk to her anymore" Finally after a month of this we met. As soon as I opened the door to his place I could see a thousand pound weight being lifted off his shoulder. I said no more than 3 or 4 sentences all evening, and by the end of it he was offering us a buliding to open a hogwan in and telling us he'd hook us up with a house when we decide to move to Canada.

[MissSeoul]

Before my parent meet my future husband who was a Swedish American, my 2 brothers met him in America ( Both my brothers were in America at the time ), because they already told my parent what a great guy he was, my parent welcomed him with open arms. Yes, he wore suit when he arrives at airport in korea.

My parent invited about 40+ relatives at one of nicest restaurants in central Seoul ( I forgot the restaurant name, but it was Hanok building ) and introduced him to all relatives and we had a great time.

The wedding took in America and it was on Florida beach.
He owned a beautiful house on hill side of front beach in Florida and our wedding took on beach just front of his house, he was an Episcopalian and I was a Presbyterian and the preacher was a Baptist who was a family friend of groom
Believe it or not, I wore HANBOK, it was a beautiful hanbok specially designed for this event and for me and there were about 100 people attended and about 20 were from my side.
The reception was at house of groom's uncle, his uncle was a dentist and was living not far from where my future husband was living.

We went Bahamas for honeymoon.
All the wedding plan was my husband's idea, I just followed him
and there was a beautiful wedding picture with all the details on local newspaper
It was the most happiest monent of my life.

[mehamrick]

Sounds wonderful Miss Seoul.. I am happy to hear that things went well for everyone. Well tonight is the big night.. off to pick up the suit... go to my kids graduation, and then count the hours until 7pm...

Happy Friday everyone.

[rothkowitz]

Call him handsome.He'll be chuffed.

Yeah,be courteous,interested,tell him about your plans.He'll be a big softy.Or not.

[crazylemongirl]

OP - unless they are some weird hippy, most dads the world over secretly hate the idea of any man dating their daughter. It's a weird dad reflex. They know how men think, and they don't men thinking it about their daughter. They want someone to look out for her and protect any future offspring.

I won't bring any guy home to meet the folks unless I'm 100% serious about him because I know my dad will give them the 'you hurt her and I'll hunt you down, kill you and make it look like an accident' speech so that he can feel that he's instilled the fear of god into the boyfriend and thus fulfilled his parently duties.

The problem with you is that, due to the language and culture gap you are taking this away from the Dad. He doesn't get the chance to lay down the law to make sure you are worthy of dating his daughter. Now the reason why her dad might not want you dating his daughter is the same reason my dad wouldn't want me dating the heavily tattooed 'bad guy' with an earing who owns a motorcycle. Because he thinks that these type of men will use and hurt their daughters.

So as the other posters said it's up to you to clean up and show the Dad respect so that he knows that you respect her and will treat her well.

[ilovebdt]

I think you should buy him a nice present. Maybe an expensive bottle of whiskey or something?

ilovebdt

[Beej]

[seoulman1]

i met my korean girl in my home country. I have flown here with her so she can finish her degree and then we I heading back so i can finish mine. Her parents have treated me with the opmost respect at all time adn always offering food, goods and key money for our apartment...

so dont believe everything you read... i guess it all depends on the circumstances.