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Does your gatekeeper want to kill you?
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michi gnome



Joined: 15 Feb 2006
Location: Dokdo

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:07 pm    Post subject: Does your gatekeeper want to kill you? Reply with quote

The gatekeeper at my apt. bldg. bears an eerie resemblance to an aged, diminutive Humphrey Bogart. Most of the time he is asleep in his sentry box, rolling back deep in his chair with his stockinged feet up on the table, TV blaring. Occasionally I have shared leftover carryout food with him. Now lately it seems he is always glaring at me, fixing me with a kind of homicidal glare. I know he can't stand the sight of me--he wants me dead. I nod at him, or say hello, and if he is in a good mood he might respond with an "uh", or maybe a growl--but recently not even this much. It could be that I haven't fed the beast in a while...maybe he is getting hungry. It could be also that I haven't received any packages in a while for him to tear open and help himself to whatever savory western snacks there may be...Perhaps an offering of soju will do the trick. How do you keep your gatekeeper happy?

Last edited by michi gnome on Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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mercury



Joined: 05 Dec 2004
Location: Pusan

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 2:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have your friend send you an old Penthouse magazine. When you get it, put it inside one of those dark plastic bag along with a bottle of dong dong ju and a bag of peanuts. You will have a friend for life.
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The Hammer



Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Location: Ullungdo 37.5 N, 130.9 E, altitude : 223 m

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mercury wrote:
Have your friend send you an old Penthouse magazine. When you get it, put it inside one of those dark plastic bag along with a bottle of dong dong ju and a bag of peanuts. You will have a friend for life.


The nuts he gets will put him over the top.

pun intended
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Anyong Bluth



Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Location: Robbers' Roost

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mercury wrote:
Have your friend send you an old Penthouse magazine. When you get it, put it inside one of those dark plastic bag along with a bottle of dong dong ju and a bag of peanuts. You will have a friend for life.


We could do with more of this kind of creative problem solving on this board.
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Oreovictim



Joined: 23 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, mine hates me, too. We have this huge recycling heap, and anytime I go to drop something off, he (or another gatekeeper) will come over to make sure that I'm putting things in the right bin.

Last weekend, I made the mistake to have dropped a light bulb on the ground. I grabbed a broom and began sweeping, and he took it away from me and started grumbling. I just smiled; I didn't know what else to do.
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happeningthang



Joined: 26 Apr 2003

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always used to give a nod of recognition to my apartment's old boy, and an occasional non-communicative chat and charade session. Usually it's just a matter of showing recognition and respect, but it sounds like you're already doing that.

To me this guy sounds like a grumpy old jerk. If you're being respectful and getting contempt in return, I'd suggest you give it back to him. Not saying, you need to spit every time you see him, but if he can't respond positively to your overtones, then don't bother. Why do you need his approval anyway? It's hard to respect someone who sucks up.

If you get respect, give respect. If you get contempt, give contempt.


Last edited by happeningthang on Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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jinju



Joined: 22 Jan 2006

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ignore them. I use to live at a building where the guards were nice, so I always greeted them. The building I moved to after that had the worst, the laziest giards Ive ever seen. I ignored them because they didnt deserve to be treated politely.
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billybrobby



Joined: 09 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate all those bastrds. When I'm throwing away my garbage they're Johnny-on-the-spot checking and snooping to see if I've done it right (which I always have). But when the fruit truck parks out front, do they tell him to f*ck off? Nope, they walk over and have a chat with him over the blaring of the loudspeak. I can only imagine what they're saying

Gatekeeper: So, how's the fruit truck thing going?
Fruit Trucker: Oh, pretty good. How's all the sitting on your ass going?
Gatekeeper: You know, I just don't have the passion for it that I used to. When I was young, I could scratch my balls, dust my cap, yawn and slouch at the same time. Now I'm lucky if can still spit and pick my ears at once.
Fruit Trucker: I hear ya. I used to drive around with this loudspeaker because I loved fruit. Now I just do it because I hate people.
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TheUrbanMyth



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mine's pretty helpful...when he's bored of what's on television and if there are Koreans throwing garbage away. But when I descend into the parking lot to dispose of my trash he scurries away like a mouse seeing an approaching cat. Mind you, I probably don't help the situation by glaring at him and muttering "Ah sheepal!" just audibly enough for him to hear whenever he dares venture within a few feet of me.

He hasn't bothered me since the first time. Laughing Laughing
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jinju



Joined: 22 Jan 2006

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

happeningthang wrote:
Why do you need his approval anyway? It's hard to respect someone who sucks up.


We arent talking about anything important either. This is an uneducated ajossi who couldnt get a real job. Give me a break, why even acknowledge the old guy?
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Zolt



Joined: 18 May 2006

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heheheeee.. great stuff about the fruit trucker Billy B, would you allow me to quote you?
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wylies99



Joined: 13 May 2006
Location: I'm one cool cat!

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gatekeeper? Laughing Who gives a flying f--- if he respects me, or not. He only respects guys who smoked so much they're on iron lungs, and guys with gin blossoms- from drinking like fishes.

He alternates between smoking, drinking, and napping. Rolling Eyes

He lusts after the 100 year old cleaning lady.

Yeah, his opinion means a lot to me. Laughing

Tell me how to win his respect, please. I can't live another day without it. Rolling Eyes
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oneofthesarahs



Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Location: Sacheon City

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My gatekeeper guy is usually sleeping, and so barely registers my presence. Even when he's awake, I have the sneaking feeling that he is still sleeping, as I have thrown away incorrectly bagged trash right in front of his nose on multiple occasions (when I ran out of the yellow garbage bags, and had trash that I really wanted to take out).
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Fresh Prince



Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: The glorious nation of Korea

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing , my gatekeeper has a deal with the garbage company. She gets the empty bags after they come and pick it up.
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endofthewor1d



Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Location: the end of the wor1d.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

nah, but the keymaster is a b*tch.
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