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andy202
Joined: 28 Nov 2006
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 Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:34 am Post subject: Crazy woman storms my apartment |
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...Ok, so most of us who make it through a full year in Korea will have a fantastically bizarre experience at some point. I am at the 10 month stage and the experience that resonates most for me is the one that happened about 30 minutes ago.
I had just arrived home from the barbeque joint around the corner, feeling happy, fat and a little drunk when, seconds after closing the door behind me, the doorbell rings.
Before I can even see who's there, a fat young adjumma marches in, kicks off her clogs and sits herself down on the bed.
At this point I am in a kind of comprendez free-fall.
The instant she starts wailing off in Korean - without a care in the world as to whether I can understand a single word she is saying - I begin to start thinking....So is she a wannabe student or just a crazy wh0re gate-crashing my pad? Either way, get out of my house.
She keeps saying "Anja, anja", inviting me to sit down on my own bed. Like a shocked idiot I do as I'm told.
Next thing, she indicates she wants to use the bathroom. So she goes off that way and I head off to the kitchen. The kitchen is about 4 inches from the bathroom but it's as far away as I can get without leaving my apartment.
I start busying myself with phoney domestic tasks. I don't like the situation yet nothing about Korea surprises me anymore. I am bothered but unusually calm.
Until that is, I glance up and see, via the reflection in the mirror, not a closed bathroom door but a pair of bare chubby legs and a pair of knickers dangling around them.
Just as I notice this, the sound effects start up....vile grunting noises, not even a genuinely constipated ajumma  openly taking a *beep* in my own home, but more of a deranged slag emulating the noises associated with sex.
Maybe I am being too British about this but, hey, I really wanted her to leave.
She started calling out to me.
"Anio!" I insisted.
To my relief, she eventually pulled up her panties and re-emerged.
By this point I was really pi$$ed off.
Remembering the hot flush that had given me the adrenelin to drag two fist-fighting 13 year old boys out of the classroom earlier that day, I went into full English-guy-gets-nasty mode once again.
Engaging the small amount of Korean I know, I blasted her with the extent of my rage and booted her out back onto the streets where she belongs.
My resolve? Koreans are a generally kind and gentle people, but don't ever make the mistake of thinking you know them because that's when the dirty sh1tting sex-noise ajumma wh0re will visit your home.
Last edited by andy202 on Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:46 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Pak Yu Man
Joined: 02 Jun 2005
Location: The Ida galaxy
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:37 am Post subject: |
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| Next time...grab her by the ear and drag her from your apt. |
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twg
Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Location: Getting some fresh air...
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:07 am Post subject: |
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| She wouldn't have gotten past the kicking off her shoes stage if she tried getting into my place without my consent. Her clogs would be bouncing right behind her down the hallway. |
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Hanson
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:21 am Post subject: |
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"Like a shocked idiot, I do as I'm told" - brilliant!
I enjoyed the tale, thanks! |
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Bibbitybop
Joined: 22 Feb 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:35 am Post subject: |
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| How "young" was this adjumma? 30? Could've been a free date, dude, free date. |
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richardlang
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Location: Gangnam
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:02 am Post subject: |
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| Bibbitybop wrote: |
| How "young" was this adjumma? 30? Could've been a free date, dude, free date. |
But what if she peed on his rug? |
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Woland
Joined: 10 May 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:57 am Post subject: |
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| Hanson wrote: |
"Like a shocked idiot, I do as I'm told" - brilliant!
I enjoyed the tale, thanks! |
Agreed, but this is my favorite line:
"At this point I am in a kind of comprendez free-fall." |
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BS.Dos.
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:28 am Post subject: |
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I'd have slipped on my gimp mask and got my chap out and asked her if she'd like to slip onto something more comfortable.
Failing that, I'd have thrown her down the stairs like an unwanted stray cat. |
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bellum99
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: don't need to know
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Funny..have you ordered from that service company before? |
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jaganath69
Joined: 17 Jul 2003
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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Dude, someone sent you the gift of a coffee girl and you didn't have the decency to use it. For shame!  |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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Ummm...Maybe you should try locking your door? Locking my door is like a religion for me. Too many crazies out there. And guys, how could you want to go on a date with a woman who takes a dump right in front of you complete with disgusitng sound effects, and you don't even know her. A real lady would not even do this in front of a man she's been married to for years. Here is a fine example of why some married Korean men visit anmas/prostitutes. Look what they have at home.  |
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prairieboy
Joined: 14 Sep 2003
Location: The batcave.
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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Anyone ever have a courier or food delivery person just walk into your apartment without knocking...even if you didn't order anything?
My wife orders stuff from the internet regularly, so several times per week there will be a courier delivering parcels to our apartment. They never knock, they try the door first. Thankfully we've got a gateman digital door lock that automatically locks when the door is closed. If it wasn't for that and I or my wife forgot to lock the door...there would likely be at least one hurting courier out there.
Cheers |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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| prairieboy wrote: |
Anyone ever have a courier or food delivery person just walk into your apartment without knocking...even if you didn't order anything?
My wife orders stuff from the internet regularly, so several times per week there will be a courier delivering parcels to our apartment. They never knock, they try the door first. Thankfully we've got a gateman digital door lock that automatically locks when the door is closed. If it wasn't for that and I or my wife forgot to lock the door...there would likely be at least one hurting courier out there.
Cheers |
Again, LOCK YOUR DOOR!!! Don't forget or you'll be sorry!!! |
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Cheonmunka
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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| You are too conservative mate. |
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JeJuJitsu
Joined: 11 Sep 2005
Location: McDonald's
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 4:03 pm Post subject: Re: Crazy woman storms my apartment |
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| andy202 wrote: |
...Ok, so most of us who make it through a full year in Korea will have a fantastically bizarre experience at some point. I am at the 10 month stage and the experience that resonates most for me is the one that happened about 30 minutes ago.
I had just arrived home from the barbeque joint around the corner, feeling happy, fat and a little drunk when, seconds after closing the door behind me, the doorbell rings.
Before I can even see who's there, a fat young adjumma marches in, kicks off her clogs and sits herself down on the bed.
At this point I am in a kind of comprendez free-fall.
The instant she starts wailing off in Korean - without a care in the world as to whether I can understand a single word she is saying - I begin to start thinking....So is she a wannabe student or just a crazy wh0re gate-crashing my pad? Either way, get out of my house.
She keeps saying "Anja, anja", inviting me to sit down on my own bed. Like a shocked idiot I do as I'm told.
Next thing, she indicates she wants to use the bathroom. So she goes off that way and I head off to the kitchen. The kitchen is about 4 inches from the bathroom but it's as far away as I can get without leaving my apartment.
I start busying myself with phoney domestic tasks. I don't like the situation yet nothing about Korea surprises me anymore. I am bothered but unusually calm.
Until that is, I glance up and see, via the reflection in the mirror, not a closed bathroom door but a pair of bare chubby legs and a pair of knickers dangling around them.
Just as I notice this, the sound effects start up....vile grunting noises, not even a genuinely constipated ajumma openly taking a *beep* in my own home, but more of a deranged slag emulating the noises associated with sex.
Maybe I am being too British about this but, hey, I really wanted her to leave.
She started calling out to me.
"Anio!" I insisted.
To my relief, she eventually pulled up her panties and re-emerged.
By this point I was really pi$$ed off.
Remembering the hot flush that had given me the adrenelin to drag two fist-fighting 13 year old boys out of the classroom earlier that day, I went into full English-guy-gets-nasty mode once again.
Engaging the small amount of Korean I know, I blasted her with the extent of my rage and booted her out back onto the streets where she belongs.
My resolve? Koreans are a generally kind and gentle people, but don't ever make the mistake of thinking you know them because that's when the dirty sh1tting sex-noise ajumma wh0re will visit your home. |
Did she flush? |
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