Korean Job Discussion Forums

[meangradin]

Is there a difference between "talk to" and "talk with"

[Woden]

only if you want there to be...

[tzechuk]

Of course there is.

Talking to is you telling someone something.

Talking with is having a chat - to and fro, that kind of thing.

[SuperHero]

[meangradin]

Sorry my bad, I should have been more specific; Is there a difference between "I talked with Bob" and "I talked to Bob"

[meangradin]

So I could not say,

"I talked with Bob about his drinking problem."

I should say, "I talked to Bob about his drinking problem."

Is there really a difference?

[Woland]

From a sample fo 4 million words (British and American, spoken and written) on The Compleat Lexical Tutor (http://www.lextutor.ca/):

40 examples for 'talked to':

1 rew said. If, if they'd have if they'd have talked to Andrew first, Andrew would have told him why
2 e isn't with it, not at all with it. When I talked to Ching about it, he said, Everyone can learn,
3 e said. Then she picked up a telephone and talked to Conway. "There's a man here," she said. "He w
4 y. It'll take time". Virginia and Rachel talked to each other quietly now, as allies who are po
5 e been at times, Pozzatti and I saw enough, talked to enough artists, historians and others to rea
6 ng to deceased people like people said they talked to er Elvis Presley Yes has been er one w
7 that on Wednesday. Well, I went round and talked to group , but I think there's a lot of er, abo
8 cot, but not pick her up out of it. I also talked to her. But the crying really upset mother, and
9 <41:60> JERRY [is re-dialing] Should 'ave talked to her; I love Chinese women. <41:61> ELAIN
10 at about Ricky? <18:231> PHIL Well, I've talked to him an', he knows all about it. <18:232>
11 in the Star Zoo, I thought, he'll die. I talked to him but he didn't answer. I knew he wanted to
12 ," Norman Blamey told Julian Halsby when he talked to him recently about his teaching and approach
13 , in a straw hat, planting flowers. She had talked to him right there, with the hot sun in his fac
14 yell at him so he could yell back. "I have talked to him, but you know I've never tried to push h
15 t yet. He seemed as drunk as when I'd first talked to him, but no drunker. He had a capacity; if w
16 rs, and a black skullcap greeted us. Rachel talked to him. He nodded, clasping and unclasping his
17 set myself; I had admired him long before I talked to him. It looked to me as though he had everyt
18 at did you observe? <31:847> RUGGIERO He talked to his family, read documents, in what appeared
19 ave either. Gospel truth, gospel truth I talked to I er wrote to them yeah, and I told them I d
20 I'll make sure that er, I've read that and talked to Jenny in time for the next meeting so we know
21 CATHERINE About what? <51:791> PETE He talked to Josie mostly. <51:792> I had a problem wi
22 t; it is a bit soon. Your father and I have talked to Lewis and he's said they aren't going to act
23 was through a keyhole. He said he had never talked to Liston". Liston is Bill Liston, baseball
24 . <18:219> KATH [sigh] I just wish you'd talked to me about it first. <18:220> PHIL Uh!
25 r when it happens. I know she is. Cos she's talked to me about it. I mean there's been a couple of
26 alk--to her--she was so unprofessional, she talked to me for like, two seconds an' then ran off.
27 him. But he was a warm and kind man. When he talked to me, I felt my heart jump. I wanted to be alo
28 t had happened and therefore that Simon had talked to me. Or that I would have to say oh Simon tol
29 s. Catt", she said. And after Wilson had talked to Mrs. Catt and to others, he was absolutely a
30 tions. <52:583> Laura used to say that I talked to much. <52:584> I'll not make that mistake
31 g man. Often he was terribly despondent and talked to no one. Then he would walk off for a few day
32 ily, neighbors, friends and anyone you ever talked to on a transoceanic jet. Eight years ago wh
33 ovely dessert planned. <29:406> But I, I talked to Peter and I'm, feeling a lot better now..
34 RICKY The rent increase! <26:546> I just talked to that agent, right, he reckons it's goin' up
35 frighteningly observant man. But not having talked to the Angels, he had made a wrong turn in his
36 'm dangerous to you." "Don't be stupid. I talked to the doctor at the factory. He says you're no
37 Ah good boy, come on most people I've talked to their little lads have been two before they
38 to quit and no messing about er and when I talked to them, they give me twelve months, rate free,
39 hink I might just say well I haven't really talked to you very much about the way that you feel ab
40 " I can see there's a storm coming. I have talked to your family and to Archbishop Lang, and we w

and for 'talked with', 3 examples:

1 mall forests. Just yesterday we had met and talked with a living writer, a contemporary of the dead
2 "I just love them", he said. The more I talked with him, the more convinced I became that that w
3 Zote, glorying in his harsh language as he talked with himself. He shouted like a hoarse old mastif

Okay, so there's an obvious frequency difference. One thing you might do to start to get a feel for the difference is to take the examples with 'talk to' and see which ones you can substitute 'talk with' into the sentence. Then consider how the meaning is changed.

My gut sense is that while 'with' may apparently mark some greater interaction in the exchange, it actually marks a sense of greater intimacy between the interactants, even if one of them is doing all the talking. But that's just a guess at this point. This may be one of those distinctions that native speakers make unthinkingly, and as such, is unteachable.

EDIT: ADDED URL

[meangradin]

Woland, thanks for the informative reply. The strange thing is the TOEIC book lists "with" as the answer to the sentence,

"I talked _______ Bob about his attitude."

My gut feeling was that the answer was "to."

It would not be the first time I disagreed with the text.

Again, thank you to all for the replies.

[Woland]

[EFLtrainer]

I suppose it depends where you are from in some instances. Also, context and usage.

I talked with Bob about his drinking. (Bob and I talked about his drinking in an attempt to find a solution.)

I talked to Bob about his drinking. (I warned Bob about the effects of his drinking on his performance.)

(They are, however, interchangeable. Let us not forget the vast importance of tone, intonation, stress, etc., in English.)

Just a minute. I'm talking to Joan.

Just a minute. I'm talking with Joan.

(There is no difference in the two above.)

I gave him a talking to. (Mentioned above. To lecture/warn/discipline.)

He's talking to himself. (As in Schizo. Talking with himself... I've never heard it that I can recall, but wouldn't find it a problem if someone said it to me. I'm American.)

Etc.

Talking with would very generally indicate collaborative talk whereas talking to would very generally indicate more that of conversing. I think. Don't you?

[VanIslander]

[Adventurer]

I got the impression that using I talk to is more of a modern way of using grammar rather than using talked with. It doesn't hold the sway over the language that it used to, in the past. It seems archaic. The distinction may be that if I am talking to someone then he is just listening. However, talked with gives you a sense of there being more of a participation from both parties. They are essentially the same. I talked with is essentially more grammatically refined. I talked with would be a "better" answer. However, it is subjective. Depening on the grammarian, both would be viewed as acceptable. It is what is accepted by most speakers of the English language, including educated ones. Talk with is considered better than talk to, but most don't use talk with. That's all.

[zorq]

In my opinion, "talk with" is more polite than "talk to." "Talk to" is more confrontational. This is why both of these are more polite than the verb "to accost" for example.

Generally speaking one would never "talk to" the Queen of England because etiquite demands respect and politeness.

Also in my opinion, the verb "to speak" is even more polite than "to talk."

[EFLtrainer]

[Been There, Taught That]

English is a detailed language, and phrases and words do have the responsibility to have specific functions, and yet also the right to stretch themselves over various applications. So, talk to and talk with can be applied in exactly the same situations at the very basic level, but talk to gives a feeling of more physical encounters, as in just talking on a stranger-type level. I would always use talk with, never talk to, to indicate two parties speaking about concerns and more sensitive matters. Although you can talk to, talking with shows a little more sensitivity to important matters that are affecting people or places. Talking to allows exchanges of a very surface nature and is, to me, more rudimentary and crude.

So, in the end, the difference has to do with the feel you want to transmit.