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Cliff for King



Joined: 09 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:40 am    Post subject: Internet Friends Reply with quote

I don't want to have sex with you. I don't even want to meet you. I just want to be your internet friend.

Here are the criteria.

- You must not be a product of an incestuous relationship.*
- You must not think that celery is an acceptable form of nutrition.
- You must be prepared to fight to the death come the wool-based revolution.
- You must have way too much time on your hands and very little of any interest with which to fill it.
- You must be able to sing at least two verses of a classic 80's pop tune of your choice.
- You must never have done any of the following:
a) propositioned a girl in a bar with the line 'hi babe, feeling horny?'
b) considered the interweb a viable alternative to a real social life
c) eaten human flesh
d) used daves to further your own nefarious plans to rule the world.


If you think you might qualify, PM me or reply for further details and an application form.



*Unless you have an unusual number of fingers or toes as a result of this. That's a little bit cool.


Last edited by Cliff for King on Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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goodgood



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Location: seoul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pass.
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Tiberious aka Sparkles



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: I'm one cool cat!

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Come to the Sparkles Gathering! A good time will be had by Paul..uh, all.
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swetepete



Joined: 01 Nov 2006
Location: a limp little burg

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I want to be your e-friend but I'm disqualified by your dumb stipulations.
I am indeed the product of an incestuous union, and have also eaten human flesh. It was an accident though, sort of, as I was really drunk and had been hit in the head very hard by the girl who'd I'd propositioned in the EXACT WAY YOUR RULES SAY NOT TO; but for chrissakes man, I'd had about all I could take from Uncle Dad, and I was hungry. I was humming 'karma chameleon' the whole time though; does that get me a pass?
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I read your list with growing enthusiasm and was thinking, 'A soul mate at last!' until I got to the end where you reveal you are a bigot. I know enough bigots already.
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Cliff for King



Joined: 09 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya-ta Boy wrote:
I read your list with growing enthusiasm and was thinking, 'A soul mate at last!' until I got to the end where you reveal you are a bigot. I know enough bigots already.


Ah no, you misunderstand me. I have a huge affection for americans and everything they stand for. It's just that an enormous proportion of my real-life friends are already american, and I was hoping this would be an easy way to balance things out...

But You're disqualified anyway for doubting my intentions.
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gyopogirlfromtexas



Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's wrong with being American?
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