Korean Job Discussion Forums

rapier · Joined: 16 Feb 2003

Have you noticed that Koreans are probably the most secretive people on the planet? I don't pretend to fathom their logic or reasons, but they will consistently keep everyone else in the dark about the most trivial of things..
For example: I've known my Boss for around a year now. One of the women teachers bears the same surname (Park). She has always referred to the boss as "Mr. park" or "wonjangnim". After 6 months I found out from someone else she is actually his daughter (Ssshhh, its a secret). the facade went on for ages until i finally let on that I knew she was his daughter. She was annoyed that I found out. Now, I finally discover that another teacher is in fact her sister (up til now she has kept up the facade that they were no more than best friends). DUHH!! why would this be such a state secret?
One of my girl students reluctantly told me she has a boyfriend, but SSHHH! Don't tell anybody, its a secret! I can just picture them sneaking out on clandestine dates to the movies in disguise.
Last year my hogwon closed. But nobody was informed ahead of time: we were told with a week remaining- and given strict instructions not to tell the parents. They finally found out on the last day- I wasn't allowed to say goodbye to my students of 10 months standing!
WHY on earth are Koreans so ridiculously, incredibly, secretive??? I don't get it!!!! Aaahhhh!!!

Goodgoings · Joined: 27 Mar 2003 Location: Seoul

To drive you insane, but don't tell anyone 'cause it's a secret...shhh Twisted Evil

kangnamdragon · Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Location: Kangnam, Seoul, Korea

It is possile the director did not want to be accused of nepotism toward his daughters. The girl with the boyfriend probably did not want to be teased by others.

I have found that when it comes to relationships, people think it is no one else's business, other than family and close friends.

That being said, I also see Korean men have secrets from their parents and wives which they tell their friends. So, it depends on whom they tell too. I probably know more about my best friend than his fiance, but I won't tell her everything because it's a secret. Laughing

makushi · Joined: 08 Jun 2003

I've been in the media business for about 15 years now...and by far the hardest companies to get any info from are Korean companies.

You call a company and ask to talk to their PR/Marketing department, you get the third degree about who you are, what do want etc., get passed around to about 15 different people who give you the same third degree, and then prolly get hung up on.

I thinks all to do with the fear of sticking their neck out and also the fact that this place has been a very closed society for eons. Japan too, but they got on the road to industrialization about 50 years before Korea so...

That said, if you are in their circle (it expands greatly when they are drunk) they will tell you all kinds of things about their family, friends, coworkers, and jobs, that a typically westerner would never say.

Here's an example of the confessions I've recently heard:

"I don't have sex with my wife anymore."
"I married the wrong woman."
"My father is old and stupid."
"My company is going bankrupt."
"My girlfriend left me for a lawyer and I am applying to grad school, don't tell my parents o.k.?"
"Sex at an anma is better than with my wife."

Now that's not too secretive is it?

A nation of contrasts, where traditions of the past collide head on with the modern ideas...Korea...an enigma, a riddle, a frigkin trippy trippy place to visit...but don't take it too seriously....or you'll end up just like them!

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

I've noticed that on every level of Korean society. Particularly with girlfriends and such. Too many stories, but I'll just tell one story instead.

A really good friend of mine started dating a Korean student (which led to marriage - they've been happily married for 5 years now).

But when they first started seeing each other, it was actually a secret from her parents, her classmates, her family, and everyone she knew for nearly 18 months (the entire extent of time that my friend lived in Korea at that time). Then they organized that she'd get a student visa to study English in the USA in Portland, Oregon, the same town that my good friend was moving back home. So they lived together in Portland, but that was also a secret. Eventually they were married, and it all worked out fine, but a couple years of secrets from everyone you know to start it out with.

Actually, this kind of thing is on every level. Its unbelievable I agree. Maybe I'll post other stories on this thread later.

gomurr · Joined: 04 Feb 2003

You haven't figured ot that in the Hagwon system the waygook is usually the last guy to know what's going on. in the case of not telling the parents that's just to save what little money is left for the month

kiwiboy_nz_99 · Joined: 05 Jul 2003 Location: ...Enlightenment...

I have a different angle on the secrecy thing for you. i was fired from a university position. I was told there were complaints from students, but i was not informed which particular students nor the nature of the complaint. Doesn't leave you much room to respond does it?

Gwangjuboy · Joined: 08 Jul 2003 Location: England

TheWesternShoreKid · Joined: 22 Feb 2003 Location: Parts Unknown

I recommend the book..."Korea Unmasked." It provides alot of answers regarding Korean society.

kiwiboy_nz_99 · Joined: 05 Jul 2003 Location: ...Enlightenment...

Maybe. But I had no such problems at my previous uni and I feel I am better not worse as a teacher now. I also got high student evaluations. So it feels more political to me. But I'll never know.

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

Actually this kind of thing applies to my present workplace.

One day I came in and half of the Korean staff was gone. Another time a whole other school just closed down. People kind of come and go all around my workplace but have no idea who or when.

One day I'm looking for some Korean person and I hear that the other day was his last day, and some new person is there instead.

desultude · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2003 12:50 am Post subject:

I am experiencing some of that at my university. No one really knows where they stand, the schedule is a secret until it is announced, and then it is a closed subject. There seem to be mysterious reasons for everything that happens, that we feel must be just too complex for our little minds to grasp.

I would love to have a western-style meeting where we talked frankly about things. I am the first to argue for cultural understanding, so I have no room to complain. Its just curious and frustrating at times.

Zyzyfer · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2003 1:19 am Post subject:

Squid · Joined: 25 Jul 2003 Location: Sunny Anyang

A few of the posts here have to wake up and smell the coffee, and that's me being extreeeemly polite.

Having been in the general workforce for a bit over 20 years now, I know that no boss, no matter how friendly an employee thinks they are with them, will tell them dick if the company is in difficulty, about to go broke or can't meet the next paycheck.

It's just as prevalent in Western culture as it is, sadly, here in Korea.

You were just lied to by the boss...boo hoo... you knuckleheads.

Red Squid.

captain kirk · Joined: 29 Jan 2003

boo hoo, a squid called me a knucklehead, on the internet!
maybe koreans know from long experience that whatever is said 'in confidence' has a way of becoming common knowledge pretty darn quick. sensing they have an 'obligation' to report what they've heared acting out of loyalty to another within the hierarchy/network. knowing everyone bla blas alot, best to keep mumm. maybe a guideline become natural habit.
i have bones in my head, so what? better than being a squid