Korean Job Discussion Forums

[pkang0202]

Ok, I have a ton of these. Lets share stories about embarrassing situations or stuff thats happened to you and your friends.

All the stories must be true and they must have happened to you or your friend. You can't just pull any story off the internet and make it your own.

Let me get started with a few of mine.

Story 1:

Freshmen Year
I go up to Virginia Tech to visit a few buddies. Their dorm is West AJ, my friends lived on the 4th and 6th floor. So one night we all go out to a fraternity party and get wasted. My friend met this girl at the party and went back to her dorm room. Both are drunk and she's going downtown on him. While she's servicing him, the guy's stomach starts rumbling. You know, the "bloob bloob bloob" sound coming from your intestines. He had to go to the toilet real bad. He remained vigilant and held it in. She finished him up and then she passed out on the bed. My friend was pretty drunk so he passed out too.

In the middle of the night, my friend wakes up from the nastiest smell ever. He lifted up the blanket and the smell hit him full blast. He had crapped his pants during the night. The girl was still passed out in the bed laying next to him. It was then that he got an idea on how to get out of the situation. He reached in his boxers, grabbed as much crap as he could, and smeared it all over the girl's butt. He made it look like she was the one who had the "accident". He then got up quickly, ran to the dorm showers with his clothes and washed off the evidence. Til this day, we don't know what happened to the girl, but I would imagine she was horrified. She probably woke up to a funk nasty bed, evidence smeared left and right, with the guy she met no where to be seen.

Story 2:

Sophomore year in college.

One day I went over to my buddy's apartment. His front door is always unlocked to I walk in and bang on his bedroom door. He opens it and is like "what do you want?". I tell him we were suppose to get lunch together. He says "Give me a minute."

I could tell that there was a girl laying in his bed. After a minute later I hear extremely loud Korn in his room. He comes out 5 seconds later fully dressed and says "lets go." I asked him about the girl and he says "Why do you think I turned the music up so loud. She'll eventually wake up, see that I'm not there, and get the hint to leave."


Story 3:

So, my buddy at VT had this room mate named Craig. Craig had a girlfriend. One day, Craig decides to hook up with another girl on the same night as him and his girlfriend's 8 month anniversary. He was on a few different drugs and completely forgot that she was meeting him at his apartment that night to go to dinner.

Me and my buddy are in the living room watching Jackie Brown while Craig and his hookup are getting it on in his bedroom. It is really loud too. Meanwhile, Craig's girlfriend comes in the apartment and is like "Where's Craig, he's not picking up his cell phone." Me and my buddy give each other a look and just bust out laughing. Craig's girlfriend can hear the sounds coming from out of Craig's room. Then a strange thing happened. Craig's girlfriend came and sat down on the couch and was watching the movie with us. She was waiting for Craig to come out of his room so she could give him a piece of her mind.

Here's the best part. Craig finishes up, comes out of the bedroom to get a glass of water or something when he sees his girlfriend sitting on the couch. He leaps back into his room, shuts the door and you can hear him yelling to the girl "You gotta hide. Get in my closet! Just do it now!"

Craig's girlfriend is just sitting on the couch shaking her head. Craig comes out and is like "Heeeey! What are you doing here?" Craig's girlfriend punched him and said "F-YOU!" and stormed out. Me and my buddy were just laughing the whole time. It was great.

[RACETRAITOR]

Frat boys were my natural enemy when I was in university.

[Bibbitybop]

I lived in a dorm my first year and also worked full time. My mailing address had officially been changed from the dorm to an house off campus where I was a lot of the time (because living in dorms sucks, but it's cheap). I would receive announcments in my dorm mailbox, but didn't know about them as my address had been changed and all I thought received was junk mail. One day the head of the building came to me and said I was being put on "trash duty" for missing meetings in the dorm and missing meetings with her. I told her I didn't attend dorm meetings on Sunday nights because I worked a full time job as a store manager and that I never agreed to meet with her. "The notification was in your mailbox." "It probably still is, I don't use that mailbox and it's not my official mailing address. I never agreed to meet with you. I will not be picking up any trash." She couldn't argue with me.

Lame story, I know, but it made a freshman feel powerful in the beaurocracy of American universities.

[pkang0202]

Here's another:


Freshmen year and its 1am. We are running out of beer to drink so my friend Denholm is like "drive me to 7-11. I'll get us some beer". None of us were 21, but he said it so confidently we didn't object. I pull up to 7-11 and Denholm gets out of the car. He walks right in, goes to the fridge and grabs a couple 24 case beers. One in each hand. He grabs the beer and marches straight toward the front door. I'm thinking "holy crap, he's just gonna steal them." I get my car ready just in case I gotta get out of there in a real hurry. I didn't notice the cop that pulled in and parked. As Denholm gets close to the front door the cop walks in. As soon as Denholm saw the cop, he did a perfect 180, walked straight to the fridge, put the beers back. It was the funniest thing I've seen. It was like someone hit the "rewind button" on Denholm.

[pdx]

My college stories don't involve sex and drinking, but just normal dorm room pranks.

like the 4am visit in our dorm hall from another dorm hall. the visit included leaving bales of hay, a rooster, pigeons, and game hens in our hallway. at 4am. That rooster wouldn't shut up.

Needless to say we were awake the rest of the morning. Nobody went back to sleep.

[Qinella]

[RACETRAITOR]

I finally remembered a good one. Every year on the first week of school and the last week, pretty well the only times when it's warm enough to be outside, the business faculty runs a beer garden in the quad. The lines are long, the beer is expensive, and it basically sucks all around.

They chose beer tickets that were a little too generic though, something like this:


Someone in the geology faculty found the exact same type of tickets in a store. For something like five bucks he bought a roll of what would amount to thousands of dollars of watered-down beer. The tickets were spread around the faculty, which was small and fairly incestuous, and they all went to the beer garden to get wasted for free. Extra tickets could be given out to cute girls.

The best part is one big drunk geologist who had a lot of tickets approached the beer stand. I guess they had a rule that you can only get two beers at a time. "Give me two beers," he commanded.

The business student poured him out two beers.

"Give me two beers," the geologist repeated.

"But I already--" the business student said, confused. "I can't give you more than two beers at a time."

So the geologist took the two beers, poured them out on the grass, and repeated "Give me two beers."

PS) I didn't partake.

[krats1976]

I don't have any. I went to BYU.

[wylies99]

Is this just for drinking stories?

[rawiri]

My buddy back home is a career burglar. He came round to our flat one night with a vcr, some chocolate biscuits and a 1kg block of cheese, this being his latest swag. We fire up the VCR and a blank tape ejects so i put the tape in to see if anythings on it and it's this obese, middle aged couples foray into do it yourself pornography. The dude has this massive gut and a big mustache and his mrs is curvy in all the wrong places but they really get into it and are going at it in all sorts of kinky manuveres. whenever we were stoned enough, and needed a laugh, that tape would come on for comic relief. So a couple of days later i was studying for finals in the library that was being refurbished and out of the corner of my eye i notice something, yep....it's mr video himself down on his hands and knees laying carpet, ironic because he was a real rug muncher on the video, i couldn't help but stare at the dude, until he caught my gaze and i quickly averted my eyes, but man, the boys all cracked up at that.

[RACETRAITOR]

[zappadelta]

Kinda similar to the very first story by the OP.

It was my junior year at Virginia Tech. I was living on Roanoke Street, off campus, but close enough to walk to classes. My friend and roommate, let's call him Joe to not protect his identity, has a huge exam the next day. So, this guy stays up all night drinking coke, coffee, smoking cigarettes, and dipping to study for the test.
The next day, without sleeping, he heads off for his exam very very early in the morning. He makes it down to the end of Roanoke St. (about a half mile from our house), and suddenly has to take the biggest dump of all time. Now, there are many restaurants and places down there, but because it was so early, nothing was open. He frantically tries to open doors to banks, hair salons, everything that he can find. But, everything is closed.
So, he starts running back to our place, and just shits all over the place as he is running. He gets home, and ddung is all over his pants, shoes, socks. This is a pretty busy street too, so I am sure he passes several pedestrians on the way back.
I wake up a few hours after this, and I see his pants draped over the back porch, covered in crap. I asked my other roommate, "What happened?" "Joe", he answered, and that was all he had to say.

[wylies99]

[RACETRAITOR]

[stevemcgarrett]

Great thread topic. My alma mater is Wisconsin in Madison. Our motto in the early 1970s was "study hard, party hard." We were a happenin' place, so much so that in the first Playboy survey of its kind they did not rank us as a drinking party school because, as they jested in a footnote, the survey did not include "professionals." Seriously.

I could tell a couple dozen or more but I'll settle for one that comes to mind....

One night very late we took two large tubs of smooth-n-creamy Skippy peanut butter on a rubber spatula and smeared it in one of the bathroom stalls on our dorm floor (small--only 8 guys, all in single rooms, a great old stone building with real wood floors and a fireplace in the den that even the fratboys envied). Anyhow, we got hold of some dark brown food coloring and mixed it in and then one of the guys, a chemistry major, put in some powder that smelled absolutely rancid--I think it had some sulphur content or something.

Our janitor, a 63 year-old guy named Val who we really liked and who told us the most randy stories was the intended victim. He used to grill us on our weekend dates on Monday mornings as we showered, shaved, and brushed. He was a good ol' fashioned lecher. He observed once, "Did you make her fart? It's no good unless you make her fart."

Anyhow the bathroom stall looked like someone had exploded with massive diarrhea. It was on the seat and the back wall. We pinned a note to the stall door saying, "Had a great roll in the hay last night, Val. She had to use the bathroom. Sorry, but she did more than fart."

At 6 a.m. sharp the next morning we were all lying in bed, having set our alarm clocks a lot earlier than usual. We heard him trudge in, the bathroom door creaking open, the clanging sound of his tin bucket hitting the door....then some whistling, then the sound of the stall door swinging open...then silence...palpable...then him bellowing in his baritone, "Hoo--lee--Ssshi-t."

Followed by eight guys bursting into peals of laughter. Then we came out to the bathroom and looked at Val quizzically. "Gee, Val, what's the matter? Anything wrong."

Val was red and ready to burst like gas pipe. He motioned to the stall door with short jabs of his arm and then stammered, "That better not be what I think it is."

I walked into the stall, ran my finger through the muck on the seat and licked it up. Then said nonchalantly, "Tastes like sh-it to me, Val," shrugging my shoulders. The other guys did the same, in turn.

He dropped his pail (he was easy to hoodwink) and stood there with his bottom jaw on his chest.

A minute later, when he recovered, we told him of the prank. He laughed himself hoarse. He was a good Joe, as we say and I miss him. Sorta like the uncle you always wanted to have but never got.