Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ChuckECheese]

Tell her to do it and she'll go straight to hell and burn.

Put some fear into her and hope that she won't do it.

And show her some pictures of suicide victims (i.e. jumpers, hangers, slitters, shooters etc.)

[Sine qua non]

You've got to counsel the student.

It's up to you to try. You can't make any person do or not do something, but because she came to you you have got to try.

Get others, Korean teachers, involved.

[Harpeau]

It sounds very rough. As a teacher it's important to keep what she tells you in complete confidence. On the other hand, as a teacher it is also very important to notify other teachers and counselors in your school. I guess that you are in a real pickle.

What to do, what to do...

It is of my opinion that you carefully tell a school counselor about what she has told you. Confidentiality laws are not usually kept when there is homicidal or suicidal tendencies expressed. You might want to talk to her first and see if she can agree with you on the need to talk to someone.

I wish you all the best. Our thoughts are with you. Keep us posted, OK?

Sincerely,

[tfunk]

http://www.counsel24.com/

is a part of the www.befrienders.org network and is in Korean. I think it is confidential but I don't know. Maybe somebody with good enough Korean can give it a look?

Good luck!

[demi]

How can I tell other teachers? I don't think that's an option. There are no counselors, this is countryside.

I tried to talk to her about the importance of taking some time out for herself. Doing a little bit of exercise etc. She never does any exercise and the idea of spending time doing something she wants to do on the weekends was ridiculous(to her). She actually laughed cause she thought I was joking. She insists there is no time for anything else.

I'm gonna talk to her again next week. The most i can do over the weekend is e-mail her. I don't know what to say though.

She's disappointed with her exam performance but it doesn't seem too bad. I'm more worried about next week when they get the results back. Do you think it's most likely just adolescent frustration causing her to say something she doesn't really mean?

[tfunk]

[Yes]

you must tell someone else as soon as possible. if someone has disclosed that they are a danger to themselves or others you are not obligated to keep confidentiality. tell the director of the school as soon as possible. tell some korean colleagues that you trust, too. do inquire if she has a plan. also inquire if she has attempted suicide before. the 2 biggest indicators of suicide risk are 1) history of past attempts and 2) degree of lethality of the method chosen.

take some time to speak with her, and let her know that you're taking this seriously, that you understand she must be in a lot of pain & that you're so sorry to hear that. just let her talk.... she must have a lot of pressure building up inside....

make sure to tell her that you are very glad she reached out. praise her for that decision. tell her it was a very smart decision. take some time to walk with her, go get a snack, try to get her to talk about the things in life that bring her joy, and also about her past accomplishments & successes. see if you can get her to see that all she has to do is the next thing... whether it's sitting in a chair or drinking a glass of water or writing her name on a piece of paper. no one ever does anything more than one simple thing at a time, that's all there ever is to do. all the pain comes from the mind's stories about the past and the future but all there ever is to do is one simple thing now. "through the simple art of gentle conversation, the wise help people accept their lives and live with more ease." i think lao tzu said that, or something very close to it.

see if you can get her to see that there's no guarantee that she will be in less pain after she dies. ask her if she can really know that things will be better then. can she really know that it won't in fact be worse.... ask her what's the worst that could happen if she goes on living. and if that happens, would it really be that bad....

stay in touch with her about it. many people who commit suicide gave signs like this before they did it and after they're gone people wish they had taken it more seriously. from what i've heard, asian women have very high suicide rates, and didn't 2 famous s. korean women kill themselves recently? you've got some responsibility here whether you like it or not. of course, you don't have any real control over what another person does, she will do whatever makes sense to her mind, but see if you can show her how to view her life situation differently.

good luck and good for you for reaching out, as well....

[Harpeau]

[quote="tfunk"]

[kimchi_pizza]

Get in touch with her homeroom