Korean Job Discussion Forums

[arjuna]

The Its thread reminded me of one of my favorite books,
Anguished English by Richard Lederer. If you haven't
seen these before, be prepared to laugh... (I found some
of these online, thankfully...)

Student Bloopers:

A virgin forest is a place where the hand of man has never set foot.

When there are no fresh vegetables, you can always get canned.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

The bowels are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes w and y.

A passive verb is when the subject is the sufferer, as in "I am loved."

The Gorgons had long snakes in their hair. They looked like women,
only more horrible.

Zanzibar is noted for its monkeys. The British governor lives there.

The President of the United States, in having foreign affairs,
has to have the consent of the senate.

It is bad manners to break your bread and roll in your soup.

Comets...are thought to be ruminants from the beginning of the universe.

Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow and not the bull.


Excuses, Excuses:

My son is under the doctor's care and should not take PE today.
Please execute him.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Teacher, please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.


From the US:

In a New York Restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses
rude ought to see the manager.

In a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible
prices and workmanship.

In a window of a general store: Why go elsewhere and be cheated when
you can come right here ??

In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking
flowers from any but their own graves....

On a display of 'You are my one and only' valentine cards:
now available in multi pack.


From around the world:

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next
day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the
office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure
is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastary: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden
on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are
married with each other for that purpose.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
if dressed as a man.

In a Norwegian c-cktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have
children in the bar.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.


A Revised History of the World:

http://larae.net/humor/history.html


Well, if you are still sitting at your seat, perhaps you can contribute
some gems you have seen in your years of teaching & traveling.

[Zoobot]

sooooooo funny! Thanks for the giggle.

[VanIslander]

This morning I'm replying to my sixth graders letter writing homework and am not sure how to respond to one good student's description: "I don't like rain. I wet myself yesterday."