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dmbfan
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
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 Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:54 pm Post subject: This was sent to me today....book review....(snicker) |
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BOOK REVIEW
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" and "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:
a.. Titanic: $29.99
b.. Clinton : $29.99
a.. Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
b.. Clinton : Over 3 hours to read
a.. Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
b.. Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
a.. Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
b.. Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.
a.. Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
b.. Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
a.. Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
b.. Clinton : Ditto for Monica.
a.. Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
b.. Clinton : Let's not go there.
a.. Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
b.. Clinton : Monica's forced to return her gifts.
a.. Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
b.. Clinton : Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
a.. Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
b.. Clinton : Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
a.. Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
b.. Clinton : Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing. |
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VanIslander
Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!
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| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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Funny!
Works as a joke.
Though by the sort of smart alec who usually doesn't finish university: no writing and no evidence of having read the books. Would get an F from any prof except at a small third-rate community college. |
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dmbfan
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Funny!
Works as a joke.
Though by the sort of smart alec who usually doesn't finish university: no writing and no evidence of having read the books. Would get an F from any prof except at a small third-rate community college |
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Yeah, it is joke......nothing more! |
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VanIslander
Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!
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| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says,
"How's the singing career going?"
Stevie replies, "Not too bad... How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now".
Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Tiger says, "You play golf?"
Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years".
Tiger says, "But, you're blind. How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Stevie Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me.
I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him.
Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."
But, how do you putt?" asks Tiger.
"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."
Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?"
Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole".
Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm game for that, - when would you like to play?"
Stevie says, "Pick a night". |
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dmbfan
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says,
"How's the singing career going?"
Stevie replies, "Not too bad... How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now".
Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Tiger says, "You play golf?"
Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years".
Tiger says, "But, you're blind. How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Stevie Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me.
I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him.
Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."
But, how do you putt?" asks Tiger.
"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."
Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?"
Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole".
Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm game for that, - when would you like to play?"
Stevie says, "Pick a night". |
Now, God bless Stevie.....but that was funny! |
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