Korean Job Discussion Forums

SuperFly · Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Location: In the doghouse

I didn't want to hijack the other thread with this offshoot subject, so I started this thread:

In university, I met a girl I liked and asked her out... the first time we went out she stated: "I don't want a boyfriend, I don't want to date, I want a friend to hang out with and f**k". It was great and we split every dinner/bar bill. There were no strings attached. There was no relationship above our once a week sex fest. Occasionally she would call me up and complain about a class and other stuff, I'd listen patiently and give her some advice. We never expected any commitment from eachother. She eventually met a guy in med school and they got married. I had two more friends with benefits after her.

I don't discount for a second that the idea of "no strings" sex is extremely attractive and seductive, but other people I knew back then said this to me: "You're just deceiving yourelf into thinking that sex is just release, or just a function or something you can do with no strings. We're not wired for that, those strings exist whether you see them or not. You DO get emotionally attached to someone you tag, even if you don't realize it, you DO roll the dice every time you have sex with someone...etc etc"

*discuss your take on "F**k buddies" or "Orgasm Friends"*

just another day · Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:54 pm Post subject:

i think ur trying too hard to be cool. Surprised

just kidding!

me... im an innocent guy. so i can't speak on this subject. ^_^

beachbumNC · Joined: 30 May 2007 Location: Gumi

i think it's possible...but you have to have the right people involved. your friends aren't exactly correct, but they are probably correct so far as their own experiences are concerned.

every time a girl proposed that arrangement to me in college, it turns out she was lying and wanted a boyfriend or husband or something...but i'm from the South, where all the women are really f u c k e d in the brain.

huck · Joined: 19 Jan 2003

It's doable....here and back home.

As long as you don't lead them on at the beginning of the relationship, and have them believe that having sex with you means that you'll want to be serious and date them.

I've had a couple of Korean ex-girlfriends who were okay with it (a year or so after we had broken up). I think it's just as common here as it is back home....well, common with girls who would date foreigners.

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

Yup. Had one of those - he wasn't a uni student though, he was working, so we never split bills. He had to pay all.. haha.

I was young but not so foolish. He was an African-American on a one-year visit to the UK. I met him and was attracted to him but as I wasn't living in London at the time and was still staying with my parents, I knew I didn't want to be attached. Knowing that he was going to leave eventually and that I wouldn't be moving to New York with him - whether he asked or not - I told him I didn't want to get attached. He was OK with that.

the eye · Joined: 29 Jan 2004

Ah memories.
In my pot smoking, e-popping, club hopping days, i met a fabulous french Canadian girl while walking across a dancefloor.

I was going to get a drink, and she stopped me, holding a little white pill in her hand.
"you want half?"

Best 3 months of my life. Nothing but hot sex, anytime, anywhere. And she kept the other stuff coming, too.

I did begin to have feelings for her, even though she was obviously not interested in being my girlfriend. I eventually learned she was a stripper. Didn't care though.

French Canadian girls are awesome.

I was never wired for casual romantic relationships, but I am now. That girl changed everything.
I'm dating a Korean girl now and we are basically screw mates. She knows I'm leaving some day, and she doesn't want to.

It works out, but she does get possessive at times.

SuperFly · Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Location: In the doghouse

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

Westerners and pooch, superfly Wink

SuperFly · Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Location: In the doghouse

That's Poochy, missy!

djsmnc · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

I was going to mention my right hand, but it's attached. Nevermind.

swetepete · Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Location: a limp little burg

Poochie?

POOCHIE!?!?!

Jesus dude, this whole time I thought you were a boy dog.

kermo · Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 6:55 pm Post subject:

I have had a No Romance/No Commitment/No Exclusivity clause in place for the last three years. It's worked out fairly well, actually. Most guys don't believe me when I tell them, and some are a little offended that I can somehow resist their manly charms and fail to fall in love, but a lot of them get over their wounded pride and look at the bright side instead.

After about eight months of casual hanging out and fooling around with one fella, I developed a sudden, gut-wrenching crush on him, but I didn't let it ruin things and it eventually went away.

oneofthesarahs · Joined: 05 Nov 2006 Location: Sacheon City

Hahahaha...I've had the occasional guy who seems astounded that I don't fall head over heels for him also. My junior year of college, I was living in DC for 9 months. I knew it was short term, so didn't want the heartbreak of looking for something serious, but a gal's got needs. There was a guy in my building who told me he was also just looking for a no-strings-attached thing, so we had a lovely 4 months. Until he saw me walking out of my apartment with a different guy. Then he went crazy and jealous, because apparently "Casual F*ck Buddies" meant EXCLUSIVE Casual F*ck Buddies to him. Dropped him like a sack o' potatoes.

As a footnote to that story, I later DID end up getting into a serious relationship while in DC, against my better judgment. He was just so darn charming. We even tried the long-distance thing. But alas, that's a story for the heartbreak thread...

twg · Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Location: Getting some fresh air...

I think someone should just go with, for example, their sudden crushes when they're in a relationship. The worst that could happen is that you stop liking each other and your relationship ends. Which does suck, but so does going to the dentist. It's just one of those things we got to go through with in life.

You know, I think people are a little too wrapped up in setting parameters for their relationships. Even this *beep*-buddy situation is an act of controlling another. And why you'd wanna screw someone you don't honestly like (because if you did honestly like this person, you wouldn't immediately be looking for an out ) is beyond me.

It's all kinda emotionally immature, really.

swetepete · Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Location: a limp little burg

I'm not very good at the f**kbuddy thing, even though I do try hard. I always wind up getting kind of possessive and sentimental, unless I don't really like her that much, in which case the physical intimacy thing (almost immediately after 'the act') becomes an irritating, tantalizing reminder of how much better it is to f**k somebody you really love.

But, it's still better than pure chaotic randomness of barsluttery, and better than being in a 'relationship' that I'm only into because I like humpin' regular.

I didn't like the movie much, but there was a really good line in 'Vanilla Sky' just before Cameron Diaz drives her car off a bridge to get back at Tom Cruise; it sums up my own experiences with the 'FWB' trip.

He: But it was just sex. Stop talking so crazy, you're scaring me.
She: There's no such thing as 'just sex.' When you f*** somebody, your body makes a promise to them, even if your mind doesn't.

Sad but true, all too often...