Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Homer]

This was published by the New York Manure Gazette in cooperation with the AFKWRTWBWTBPVWA (Association of Foreigners in Korea Who Refuse to Work But Want To Be Payed Very Well Anyways).



January 2004
Max Gripe


Foreigner Awakes in Korea. Does not know what happened!!!

Kidnapped and flown on the other side of the world in a country of savages and forced to earn his wages. He was even forced to work and eat different foods. He was paid in foreign currency. The poor man even had to listen to another language than the pure English that is spoken in Heaven. This is the story of one man who escaped against the odds. This is the story of....Joe Self, back from a season in hell.

I caught up with Joe while he was in line collecting his welfare check and we had a chat about his horrible experience.

MG.
So, Joe, what went wrong?

JS
I don't know man. I finished my degree and thought I should look for a job you know. I was minding my own business, walking downtown. I passed in front of this building with a flag on it. It said "Korean Embassy". Next thing I know I felt a sharp blow to the head.

MG
What happened next?

JS
I woke up in this basement. I could hear dripping water in the shadows and it was cold and damp. It was also very dark. I could smell cigarette smoke. So I called out "anyone there?" All I heard was my own echo. Then suddenly a light came on and it was shone into my face. It blinded me. Then I heard voices, they were speaking in demon language, it was horrible.

MG
That sounds aweful. What was happening?

JS
Well, one man came closer, he spoke in an English that had an accent, it was scary I tell you. He said..no its too horrible I can�t.

MG
Take your time Joe, its ok.
At this time I handed Joe a tissue so he could wipe his tears.

JS
Sorry, its still hard to talk about this. He said �You are going to work for us in an English school�. We are going to fly you over, pay you more than you are worth and house you, you got that?�
I was scared, didn�t know what to do you know�so I agreed. Then they put a hood on my head and I fainted.

MG
Then what?

JS
I could feel we were driving somewhere because we were in a car. Then the took the hood off and we were at this airport. Next to me there were two big guys and they took me to the counter. There was this lady there and she took my ticket and said it was time to board. The two guys left then. I was alone but what could I do, I was scared! So, I went in the plane.

MG
Its ok JS you could not know what these savages would do to you.

JS
Yeah that�s right. Well anyways, we landed in this place called Korea a few hours later. After going through customs, I came out of the gate and there was this non-white person with a sign that had my name on it. In fact, it was full of these strange looking people who did not speak English, that was weird. I did not know such a place existed!
Well, the person ended up being a woman and she took me by taxi to this building. She said this is where I lived. We went up to the 4th floor and she led me into this apartment. Then she pulled out an envelope with some strange looking money in it. I looked at it was confused. Then she uttered words that still run shivers down my spine. She said �See you at work tomorrow!!�
Work..what did she mean? I am a westerner, why should I be expected to work here!

MG
I cannot imagine the horror of it.

JS
Well that�s when it started, I mean they expected me to show up at this school and actually work. They even had the gall to pay me in foreign bills. The thing is no one spoke the language of heaven there, I was like a blessed child in pagan lands.

MG
That�s beautiful man, brings a tear to my eye.
JS
Well, anyway, it was hell, work, getting paid�you know..having to earn it. I decided enough was enough when they bought me lunch and expected me to eat this strange food.
Then and there I decided I was busting out of this concentration camp.
Lucky for me the AFKWRTWBWTBPVWA had offices there and they were running a pipeline to freedom. They got me out of there and now I am suing the country for psychological damage due to me ignoring the obvious. We think we are going to win.

MG
Did you escape right away?

JS
No, I waited one month till right after payday, you know because that�s my right.

MG
Of course, you�re a westerner.

JS
Yeah man. But people out there should know that this happens. This is slavery man. I felt like my brothers and sisters from Africa when the were kidnapped and sold into slavery.
Gotta fight the power man. We should bomb them. How dare they expect us to work.

MG
This ended the interview but as you can see, it�s a dangerous world out there for us westerners. We have to be careful not to be kidnapped and sold into slavery as teachers!

[SuperHero]

Now that is funny... good work homer

[Cthulhu]

Funny.

[little mixed girl]

.....

[Coffeecup]

didn't read the whole story (I never do on this website nowadays) but it makes me want to ask, is it true what I've thought about you for awhile "Homer," your official stance is to oppose fellow westerners in any way you can? Forgive me if I'm wrong, but in the dozen or so posts of yours I remember reading it did seem that way. But ultimately you can clear that up if you would like to respond.

On a different note of course the story was funny -- but obviously at the expense of an otherwise serious matter: all westerners in Korea. But forgive me if I am wrong, but it seems to me there are SOME decent and dignified foreigners in this country. That's just my statement.

[ryleeys]

Can we get that made a sticky?

[matko]

I don't get it.

[little mixed girl]

.....

[On the other hand]

[Gwangjuboy]

[Mr. Pink]

Now that is a good attempt at satire.

WTG Homer!!!

[ryleeys]

[Starperson]

I'm sick of people saying foreign teachers are paid more than we're worth. AS far as I'm concerned, I'm worth every damn penny.

[Ilsanman]

It's not about what you earn, it's about how much you save.

Anyways, maybe 95% of us are not qualified to be teachers at home, but we generally work longer schedules then them, and we get paid much less.

[SuperHero]