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How many of you are married to a Korean?
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Married to a Korean?
Married- no children
37%
 37%  [ 9 ]
Married- with children
29%
 29%  [ 7 ]
Engaged or planning on marriage
33%
 33%  [ 8 ]
Total Votes : 24

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chronicpride



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2003 7:14 pm    Post subject: How many of you are married to a Korean? Reply with quote

How many of you are married to a Korean? What type of cultural implications have you had to deal with from your spouse's family or other Koreans in general?

More specifically, how many have had children with your Korean spouses and what kind of challenges did you and do you face, raising a mixed child in a culture that promotes purebred bloodlines?
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Bulsajo



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2003 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I KNOW we've done this poll before... I'm suppose the mods will dig it up and lock this one down....
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BTM



Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Back in the saddle.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2003 9:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No. Children. Ever.

Unless a rich uncle dies (gotta find one first, is the problem) and leaves me a million or two. Then I'll think about it, 'cause I'll be able to live the life of ease and devote myself to raising the little bastards up right. Heh.
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syclick



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2003 10:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Getting married in November.

Didn't have problems with her family. They were open and accepting of me. However, had her father still been alive, I wonder if anything would have gone differently. I definitely would have been a little more nervous about meeting her father than her mother... Shocked

My Korean friends seem to be open and accepting of it. A few seemed a little apprehensive about it, but nothing hostile.
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chronicpride



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2003 11:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, here it is http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/korea/viewtopic.php?t=4586&postdays=0&postorder=asc&vote=viewresult

But to keep the thread alive for my 2nd question, how many have children with their Korean spouses and what type of challenges do you experience with his/her family or local culture in general?
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Corporal



Joined: 25 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Married. Baby'd. (She's five and a half months).

Reaction to us as a family is varied. When my husband introduces me to people, they usually respond one of four ways:

a) Sycophantic. "Oh, your daughter is so LUCKY! She will grow up speaking Korean AND English!"
b) Indifferent. "Oh, this is your wife?"
c) Faintly suspicious. "Where is she from?"
d) Shocked. "But she's a FOREIGNER!"

(My favorite reaction was the one young guy who just glanced at me, said "Hi," casually, and returned to the conversation with my husband. This doesn't happen too often though).

I'd say overall I probably have an easier time of it than the foreign men who are married to Korean women. I suspect that most Koreans who generally aren't particularly enamored of mixed relationships/children, aren't too hostile towards ours, because (in theory) my husband's strong Korean blood will dominate my weak foreign blood. Rolling Eyes
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Jensen



Joined: 30 Mar 2003
Location: hippie hell

PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Married 14 years this November, two kids 12 and 10.

Before we had kids, people in Korea generally treated us like crap. Family was OK with the marriage, but nobody real happy with the situation.

Big difference after the kids were born, everyone wanted to hold them and stare at them and it was kind of intense just to take the subway anywhere. Wife's family just accepted them as family and made my daughter mind like they would any other kid.

Moved away from Korea before the kids were old enough to do pre-school or anything so I don't know about interraction with other children.

Haven't been in Korea for awhile, will be interesting to see how people treat the kids now that they are much older, more obviously American in attitude, and not so cute.
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Cthulhu



Joined: 02 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Married 2.5 years, no kids (still deciding whether we want them) and had no problems at all with the in-laws or the brothers and sisters. My in laws were a bit different as my father in law worked on a U.S. Army base during the Korean War and my mother in law worked on the same base repairing uniforms (though they didn't meet there). I guess they were a little more open minded about foreigners. My father in law didn't have a chance to speak English for over 45 years and is now making up for lost time, and still remembers a decent amount all things considered. Smile
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The Lemon



Joined: 11 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Married three years this month. Our first lime arrives about a week after our 9/30 anniversary.

Here's hoping she looks more like her mom than me.
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Holyjoe



Joined: 03 Mar 2003
Location: Away for a cuppa

PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2003 2:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats in advance on your impending fatherhood, Lemon Smile

I'm legally married, but we haven't had the ceremony yet - does that count? Wink
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kimcheeking
Guest




PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2003 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Lemon wrote:
Here's hoping she looks more like her mom than me.


No doubt, I've met the Lemon and you don't want a kid to look like that Wink


Me married 3 years this October, kid 19 months old no problems
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Homer
Guest




PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2003 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Married almost 5, no kids yet but coming soon to theater near you.

As for family acceptance, I suppose I got lucky as they all accepted me like one of their own and never once made me feel like an outsider, including at our wedding when there were over 400 korean guest and a handful of my friends from the West.
They treated my mother who visited with equal warmth and friendlyness as they did my brother who visited from Japan twice.
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The Den



Joined: 26 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2003 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have been married for just over 5 years. We have a 2 and a half year old daughter. We get a lot of stares when we are out. A lot of oohs and aws. We think out daughter is exceptionally attractive but she is probably just average. People we meet are usually curious. No one has ever been openly hostile to us. Not even when we were dating. We live with my in laws right now while we are spending our year in Korea. We have no plans to raise our daughter or any future children in Korea. I think we have it pretty good right now apartment wise and location wise and all that. Mother in law babysits while we are at work. She gets to play with the baby and the baby gets to learn Korean. Although I think she would learn a lot more if she were playing with Korean kids her own age. I get along great with my wife's family. They treat me like a king.
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waterbaby



Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Baking Gord a Cheescake pie

PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2003 7:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Married for 9 months, no kids, no probs ever with the in-laws Very Happy
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Bulsajo



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2003 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

3.5 years.
Kids- WE ARE TRYING! OH MAN HOW WE ARE TRYING, SO GET OFF OUR BACKS!
[that's pretty much my standard response to the kids question these days- Pressure? From parents and in-laws? Whatever gave you that idea?]
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