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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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 Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:01 am Post subject: Any wives support their husbands? |
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I'm an American married to a Peruvian and have been living in Peru for three years. I've got a BA, five years experience (high school, two unis, a language school and a kindergarten) and will have an MA in TEFL in Feb.
I'm working three jobs here in Peru, becuase we're trying to save money to buy a house. Korea looks like a good option for us, especially the fact that we'd be able to save about 1500 USD a month.
My husband doesn't speak much English, nor does he have a degree from an English speaking country. He's a systems engineer. If we went to Korea, I'm not sure if he'd be able to find work legally. We're thinking maybe he could study via distance to get a degree or possibly open an online business.
On this board and others, I've heard of men supporting their wives, but haven't heard much from wives supporting their husbands. I'd like to hear from anyone else who's been in this position and what their experience was. |
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Juregen
Joined: 30 May 2006
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:14 am Post subject: |
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In a way, my wife supports me.
She makes more then me!
The question is, can you and him handle it.
Ego's tend to get in the way. Talk about it open an frank before making the decision. |
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mountainous
Joined: 04 Sep 2007
Location: Los Angeles
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:29 am Post subject: |
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| Juregen wrote: |
In a way, my wife supports me.
She makes more then me!
The question is, can you and him handle it.
Ego's tend to get in the way. Talk about it open an frank before making the decision. |
She makes more than me.  |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:30 am Post subject: |
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| I think you've got a great plan. |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:48 am Post subject: |
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| ok, heard from the guys, what about the women who actually support their husbands? |
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The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 9:03 am Post subject: |
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| naturegirl321 wrote: |
| ok, heard from the guys, what about the women who actually support their husbands? |
Keep hoping. It doesn't happen very often. |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Home sweet home
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 9:52 am Post subject: |
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| There's no women who support their husbands? Ok, then for the guys out there, how would you feel if your wife supported you? |
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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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| I would love it. The question is, would most women love it. I think behind all the "equality for the sexes", women want to feel taken care of, and men don't want to be in a submissive role. A woman supporting her husband goes against both of these ideas. Good luck though, maybe if it's short term it wouldn't be a big deal. |
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bejarano-korea
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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Hola nature girl! que tal?
I never ended up getting Peruvian citizenship in the end. I need to go over there and hire a lawyer!  But technically I'm a Peruvian citizen, just one without a Peruvian passport.
Though Peruvian men are machista They are very pragmatic and I don't see a problem in regards you bringing home the dinero. If you are going as a E2 teacher he knows that you will be the breadwinnr so to speak and will act accordingly, I'll be suprised if this becomes an issue.
Naturegirl IS the Peru forum here on Dave's. If you want to know about living and working in Peru then she's your lady! welcome aboard!
PS: Recognize the chap on the left? (Not San Martin de Porres  The feller with the gloves!) |
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tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:44 pm Post subject: |
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I kind of support my husband and our daughter cos my husband runs a business and most of the money he makes is invested back into the company. I rarely see a penny of it.. hehe... so I pay the bills, the mortgage, food etc. but that's OK. I make a bit more than the average 2m.
I don't mind this at all, to be honest, because we are building a business together and I know that the fruits we reap are far greater than what I am putting in now. Plus it's for our daughter's future, so I am OK with it. |
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Real Reality
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:15 pm Post subject: |
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| blaseblasphemener wrote: |
| I would love it. The question is, would most women love it. I think behind all the "equality for the sexes", women want to feel taken care of, and men don't want to be in a submissive role. A woman supporting her husband goes against both of these ideas. Good luck though, maybe if it's short term it wouldn't be a big deal. |
Would you please let this organization know about this?
Ministry of Gender Equality and Family
http://english.mogef.go.kr/index.html
Policy for Foreigners
https://www.mogef.go.kr/dev/board/board.jsp?id=eub0700&menuID=eub0700
Who still pays for most dates? Who pays more for gifts?
Teenage Boys Spend Money on Girls -- and so Do Girls
Chosun Ilbo (November 13, 2006)
http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200611/200611130007.html
| Quote: |
| The most striking finding was that male respondents said they used the cards for their girlfriends while the female users spend the money on themselves. |
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simone
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Now Mostly @ Home
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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| The Bobster wrote: |
| naturegirl321 wrote: |
| ok, heard from the guys, what about the women who actually support their husbands? |
Keep hoping. It doesn't happen very often. |
For a while that was the case. We're entrepreneurs, but I have a weekday desk job as well. He works from home, and is 100% devoted to the business.
It helps that we both saved up and got our MBAs at the same time - the sense that our careers are equal is pretty unavoidable... any imbalance is temporary.
With his business model revenue comes in rarely - clients sometimes drag their feet... but it's starting to come. The first year though was tricky. In the end, I know that when we get rich, it sure won't be from my job - even though I like my job...
Relationship wise, it was fine. Maybe he had some issues but I didn't get that much. We lived on 80% of my salary, (and still do, largely) with 20% going to savings and investments. Now that he has more coming in, we haven't really changed our budget, it just allows for things like gym memberships and a used car.
If you get your lifestyle together, and he doesn't mind taking care of you practically, you should both be fine with you taking care of things financially. |
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simone
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Now Mostly @ Home
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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| blaseblasphemener wrote: |
| I would love it. The question is, would most women love it. I think behind all the "equality for the sexes", women want to feel taken care of, and men don't want to be in a submissive role. A woman supporting her husband goes against both of these ideas. Good luck though, maybe if it's short term it wouldn't be a big deal. |
Feeling taken care of can be well achieved regardless of who is earning the money deposited in the bank.
My husband rubs my aching hands (they've been hurting since the 7th month of pregnancy), keeps a running tab on my vitamin and mineral intake, feeds me a hot breakfast and drops me off at the subway station on his motorcycle.
He then might hit the gym or visit a client, spending most of the day at his desk at home. He knows all the fruit and fish vendors in the neighbourhood, and prefers to go to Costco on weekdays without me, as I "take too long" looking around. I try to help out at home, but really, he takes care of most of it.
He's my freaking hero - I'd be fine supporting him financially long term, except of course that he can't not be working on one of several business plans we're always working on. He's also going to be a great dad. We'll get help for a few hours a day to give him his desk hours or to see clients, but I know that he'll be as good with the baby as I would be, minus the boobs of course.
Sometimes I wish I were home more, but that's not a househusband/housewife issuse, it's a why-the-eff-do-Korean-companies-work-the-longest-hours-in-the-OECD issue. |
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Dazed and Confused
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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| I supported my Korean husband while he was searching for work. He didn't ever find anything worthwhile and has ended up teachign English in Hogwons and privates. I still work more hours/week than he does so we have an agreement. During the term he takes care of the finances, shopping and most of the housework. When I'm on vacation I help out more. It works for us and he makes jokes all the time about his "house husband" status. |
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wings
Joined: 09 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 9:06 pm Post subject: |
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I am getting ready to support my partner when he joins me in a few months, same situation really, he is latino and I"m not sure if he will be able to do anything over here. He is not thrilled about not working, but has decided that he will try to do some productive things like take Korean classes and go to the gym if he can't find some sort of work.
That said, as you are married your husband will qualify for a visa. I met some peruvians a while back who were living here and had jobs I think for some company that does a lot of business in Peru, they mentioned that latinos can actually get jobs here fairly easily. Although if they meant legal and meaningful jobs I'm not sure. |
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