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kentucker4

Joined: 03 Sep 2007 Location: Georgia
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: dinner with my bosses |
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It has become one of the most dreaded parts of my job. I am the only foreigner at this school, so I go out at 11 at night until about 3 or 4 in the morning with about eight of them while they all get drunk and just talk in Korean while I sit there trying to understand what they are saying.
Last night, one of my bosses told me (about the only thing spoken in English the entire night, no joke) You should date other girls. He then said, "You know, there are many women out there for you. You are so young. Why only one? There are even women from different races...referring to my K-gf. He always makes assine comments like this when drunk. Whenever I decline dinner with them, they freak out and ask me what is wrong. So I go to not feel like a total outcast here...but damn, it always ruins my day. Do you all go out to dinner often with your bosses? |
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endo

Joined: 14 Mar 2004 Location: Seoul...my home
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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You should bring Bigfoot to your next dinner. That dude would be a blast at a party!
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Location: Retired
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject: Re: dinner with my bosses |
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kentucker4 wrote: |
It has become one of the most dreaded parts of my job. I am the only foreigner at this school, so I go out at 11 at night until about 3 or 4 in the morning with about eight of them while they all get drunk and just talk in Korean while I sit there trying to understand what they are saying.
Last night, one of my bosses told me (about the only thing spoken in English the entire night, no joke) You should date other girls. He then said, "You know, there are many women out there for you. You are so young. Why only one? There are even women from different races...referring to my K-gf. He always makes assine comments like this when drunk. Whenever I decline dinner with them, they freak out and ask me what is wrong. So I go to not feel like a total outcast here...but damn, it always ruins my day. Do you all go out to dinner often with your bosses? |
Rarely. |
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fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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I have never been asked to attend a school outing and I never will. Do you want to know why? It's easy, I avoid everybody at my school. I only see my colleagues when I go to the V.P.'s office to photocopy things.
I never eat with them, I never talk to them, I just look very busy, deep in thought and extremely busy.
On my first day at school, I ate lunch with my colleagues. Ever since then, I have always eaten lunch on my own in my office. I am basically totally aloof because I love it that way at work.
And my Korean colleagues leave me alone, which is just how I like it. |
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Hank the Iconoclast

Joined: 08 Oct 2007 Location: Busan
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:10 pm Post subject: |
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fromtheuk wrote: |
I have never been asked to attend a school outing and I never will. Do you want to know why? It's easy, I avoid everybody at my school. I only see my colleagues when I go to the V.P.'s office to photocopy things.
I never eat with them, I never talk to them, I just look very busy, deep in thought and extremely busy.
On my first day at school, I ate lunch with my colleagues. Ever since then, I have always eaten lunch on my own in my office. I am basically totally aloof because I love it that way at work.
And my Korean colleagues leave me alone, which is just how I like it. |
Moron? |
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endo

Joined: 14 Mar 2004 Location: Seoul...my home
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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Hank the Iconoclast wrote: |
fromtheuk wrote: |
I have never been asked to attend a school outing and I never will. Do you want to know why? It's easy, I avoid everybody at my school. I only see my colleagues when I go to the V.P.'s office to photocopy things.
I never eat with them, I never talk to them, I just look very busy, deep in thought and extremely busy.
On my first day at school, I ate lunch with my colleagues. Ever since then, I have always eaten lunch on my own in my office. I am basically totally aloof because I love it that way at work.
And my Korean colleagues leave me alone, which is just how I like it. |
Moron? |
They probably talk a lot of ish about you and somewhat deservidly so. At least make an effort to be friendly and occasionally interact. |
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Yu_Bum_suk

Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:21 pm Post subject: |
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You have eight bosses? No wonder you're so stressed out. Sounds like too many chiefs and not enough Indians.
I love going out for a piss-up with my coworkers. In fact I don't think we do it often enough. When we do I'm usually one of the last ones to leave. I find that it's possible to have many types of conversations when you're drunk that you likely wouldn't have when your sobber. The only thing I don't like is that the conversation has to stay in a group most of the time, with the older teachers dominating, making one-on-one open and honest conversations more difficult. |
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Gamecock

Joined: 26 Nov 2003
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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Excuses, dude, excuses. That's the key to getting out of terrible social occasions in Korea. It's also what Koreans do, so you're fitting in perfectly. Always have an excuse ready at any moment.
Figure out which nights they usually go out (say Thursdays)...and wala, you're taking a Korean class at 8am on Friday mornings and must get up early! (Don't be too ambitious with this excuse, or you will have to start showing some proficiency in Korean!)
You've got a girlfriend? Fantastic. You're meeting her after work! Sorry, can't go out tonight! She's becoming very demanding! Haha.
You met some nice foreign friends on the weekend and they want to hang out with you...sorry, I'm meeting them for drinks tonight. We made plans last Saturday, I'm so sorry!
Excuses. Koreans know the game. After awhile they will quit asking you so frequently (if at all). |
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Dome Vans Guest
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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fromtheuk wrote:
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captain kirk
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:46 am Post subject: |
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fromtheuk wrote: |
I never talk to them, I just look very busy, deep in thought and extremely busy.
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Why not just tell them all to piss off before nuking the place?^^Then head off to a cave and meditate, like Rambo! |
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yingwenlaoshi

Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Location: ... location, location!
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:49 am Post subject: |
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Dome Vans wrote: |
fromtheuk wrote:
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Ignorance is bliss. |
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fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:08 am Post subject: |
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Ignorance?!! The OP stated going to these dinners has become one of the most dreaded parts of his job.
My approach eliminates all forms of dread. There seems to be no happy medium, you either kiss a�$ or the only possible alternative is you're telling them to get lost, simply because you choose not to partcipate in things which are entirely optional anyway.
When I come across my colleagues, I am always civil. But I don't like them and I'm not paid to pretend that I do.
Because I don't mix with them, it doesn't mean I want to nuke them. What a retarded fool! |
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yingwenlaoshi

Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Location: ... location, location!
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: |
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fromtheuk wrote: |
Ignorance?!! The OP stated going to these dinners has become one of the most dreaded parts of his job.
My approach eliminates all forms of dread. There seems to be no happy medium, you either kiss a�$ or the only possible alternative is you're telling them to get lost, simply because you choose not to partcipate in things which are entirely optional anyway.
When I come across my colleagues, I am always civil. But I don't like them and I'm not paid to pretend that I do.
Because I don't mix with them, it doesn't mean I want to nuke them. What a retarded fool! |
I was just commenting on the Homer pic. I personally don't give a flying fk at a rolling donut what you post, what you do, or how everyone's commenting on your posts. Do what you want. |
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Imbroglio

Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: Behind the wheel of a large automobile
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:15 am Post subject: |
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I have to attend a meeting with the president of an American company on Friday. Let me give you some background info: My (Korean) company initiated a joint development project with this American company last year. I attended the first meeting last year, and helped to start the project. I have about ten projects like this, but once the project gets started, the Koreans don't give me any information about the progress, even though I ask on a regular basis. Anytime there's a teleconfrence, I have to attend, even though I'm not an engineer and I don't know the details, or the Korean engineer's day to day work.
They always ask me to join them when they have dinners, I comply. While they speak in Korean, I eat and drink and enjoy myself as best I can. They do occasionally break off and speak to me in English, but it's not enough to keep me in the game so to speak.
Back to the project from last year. The vice president of our company wants me to attend a meeting on Friday, which is going to be a non-renewal meeting for that project (meaning the project is going to be cancelled) - now imagine how I feel, going into that meeting - when NOBODY has given me ANY information whatsoever about the progress of the project. NOTHING. And I've asked many times. I asked the planning dept. I asked the engineers. I asked the New Product Development team. And when I meet that American president on Friday and she asks me a question, my response will be "I'm sorry, but I've been kept in the dark by everyone involved in this project since last year, even though I've repeatedly asked for information." Then my VP will say "It's a miscommunication" to cover his people's asses.
Korea Shithole |
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fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:37 am Post subject: |
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yingwenlaoshi - I mentioned the word you used: 'ignorance'. But I was talking about the comments captain kirk made, not you! Oh dear  |
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