Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[Rachel.]

Hi, everyone. This is my first time to show up. I realy want to tell you that i hate the gay, who is my coworker, always pull at his nose. it pretty bothers me. sometimes it drives me crazy. can you recommend what i can do?
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rachel

[CP]

1. Your title needs some work to be good grammar. Try this: "What Kind of Behavior in Others Bothers You?"

2. When you say that you "hate the gay, who is my coworker," do you mean that your coworker is gay (homosexual) and you hate him, or that you hate the guy (fellow, person) who is your coworker? I suspect it is the latter.

3. When your coworker pulls at his nose, is he just grabbing it on the outside and pulling it with his fingers, or do you mean he is picking his nose, sticking his finger inside and pulling things out?

4. Can you just tell the person that what he is doing is bothering you?

"Hey, John, can I talk to you for a minute? I don't know if you are aware of it, but you are constantly picking your nose. That really bothers me. It is not something I want to look at when I'm at work, but I can't help seeing you do it all day long. Do you think you could stop doing that at work? I would really appreciate it. If you need help, I'm sure the company would pay for you to see a psychiatrist to help you with your problem."
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You live a new life for every new language you speak. -Czech proverb

[Anuradha Chepur]

Aha! What a timely post for me to share some new wisdom that I was exposed to in a refresher training that we had just early this week.

It goes like this: when you form an opinion on first impression, first note it down as Positive or Negative.
Then divorce yourself from that opinion.
If it is positive, be cynical with the person for some time.
If it is negative, be open minded with him.
After a few days, note down your impression once again, and compare it with the earlier one.
It could be (not necessarily) that the positive has changed to a negative and vice versa.