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Please helo me proofread thanks letter

 
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ziawj2



Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 6:56 am    Post subject: Please helo me proofread thanks letter Reply with quote

This is one of my students'writing. I made some changes. But I changed the original meaning in some sentences. Could you help me check to make it more acceptable to native speakers and at the same time maintain the original meaning?
original
May 1, 2012
Dear Lucy,
I am now writing these few lines to express my sincere thanks for sending me flowers for my birthday gift . I'd like you to know how much your flowers meant to me. You is a kind girl I know you are very like reading, so I have buy a good comic books for you I think you will like it. My whole family are Looking forward to you have time to our guest.
Yours Signature,
diana

revised
May 1, 2012
Dear Lucy,
I am now writing this letter to express my sincere thanks for sending me flowers on my birthday. You are so kind!
I know you like reading very much, so I bought a comic book for you. I hope you would like it.
Could you come and have a dinner with us this Friday? My whole family are looking forward to seeing you again.
Best wishes,
Diana

I
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askeladd



Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 89
Location: Chicago area, USA

PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 9:41 am    Post subject: Re: Please helo me proofread thanks letter Reply with quote

ziawj2 wrote:
This is one of my students'writing. I made some changes. But I changed the original meaning in some sentences. Could you help me check to make it more acceptable to native speakers and at the same time maintain the original meaning?
original
May 1, 2012
Dear Lucy,
I am now writing these few lines to express my sincere thanks for sending me flowers for my birthday gift . I'd like you to know how much your flowers meant to me. You is a kind girl I know you are very like reading, so I have buy a good comic books for you I think you will like it. My whole family are Looking forward to you have time to our guest.
Yours Signature,
diana


I've put the corrections in red below.

Quote:

revised
May 1, 2012
Dear Lucy,

I am now writing


I am writing

Quote:
this letter to express my sincere thanks for sending me flowers on my birthday. You are so kind!

I know you like reading very much, so I bought a comic book for you. I hope you would like it.


I hope you like it.

Quote:


Could you come and have a dinner


have dinner

Quote:

with us this Friday? My whole family are


family is (we're thinking of the group as a single unit)

Quote:
looking forward to seeing you again.

Best wishes,
Diana


Hope this helps Wink
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