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RedRose

Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 2735 Location: GuangZhou, China
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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Just because you are not a woman, so you don't exactly know what a woman feels when she has to face a sexless life for 30 years! but you can try to see this problem from a visual angle of human being. In this respect, women feel the same way as men do.
FYI, of course she should tell her fiance the truth that she would still take care of her ex-husband after getting married, if he is ok with her ex-husband, that would be great. but if he is unwilling, then it's ok; she can picks another one. if none would marry such a woman with an "encumbrance", then she HAS TO continue taking care of her husband with no sex. I mean, she has to! since she didn't wanna leave her husband, and none would marry her, then she had no alternative. but that's still a bitter life for her. and I don't see what's moving in the story, I just see a woman's bitterness and unfair situation.
Marine, you should try to consider people's feelings from their own angle. don't come to a conclusion superficially. |
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Marine
Joined: 02 Apr 2003 Posts: 77
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:21 am Post subject: |
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The first time I heard the news I considered neither the wife's exaclty feeling nor the detail of their real life as you said. But when you set forth your opposite thought, I started shifting myself with wife, imaging that if I were she, what should I do? Though I am not female and I can't exaclty understand what she exact thought, I can still image embarrassment she would meet!
1. As I mentioned before, if she married another man, whether her fiancee would be glad ? Of cause, she would marry nobody until she meet an open-minded man as you said.
2. But what would her ex-husband think of? whether he would agree with her? How can she persuade him to accept it?
3. If she married another man, Who would foster their child? Is it helpful for the growing up of their child.
If the woman could resolve all these problems with well communication, that would be really Okey. perfect!
But if she was careless of other's feeling and just married anther man, I think she was really selfish.
But she did not marry another one indeed, I don't know whether she had considered all these problems above, if she did , I think she was great because of her selflessness.
And I also can image how difficultly they lived their lifes, the woman's bitterness and the sence the whole family holding together for life.
Great? yes, we have different defination of it? Perhaps, I should say I respect the woman very much. _________________ Reading make a full man; conference a ready man; and writting a exact man. |
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RedRose

Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 2735 Location: GuangZhou, China
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:30 am Post subject: |
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Marine wrote: |
Though I am not female and I can't exaclty understand what she exact thought, I can still image embarrassment she would meet!
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embarrassment?? why? for what? Should she feel embarrassed if she tried hard to chase a better life? you mean, you still insist that she deserves a bitter life for her disable husband? what's the matter with you?
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2. But what would her ex-husband think of? whether he would agree with her? How can she persuade him to accept it? |
What the hell are you talking about again? why should she get his agreement? who gives him such a right? you? I don't think so.
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3. If she married another man, Who would foster their child? Is it helpful for the growing up of their child. |
of course, you wouldn't raise her kids, luckily, she didn't ask you to do so, so don't worry, Marine. however, if she meets an open-minded guy, he would. if she dosen't meet such a guy, or, let's say, if she dosen't have such a chance to meet such a great guy, then she is very bitter and unfortunate. in this respect, this story isn't moving at all, it's just bitter.
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But if she was careless of other's feeling and just married anther man, I think she was really selfish. |
In your opinion, she can be characterized "unselfish" just when she sacrifices her sex life and carries a bitter life? why didn't you call that husband "selfish"?
I think it would be reasonable if she would marry someone else.
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But she did not marry another one indeed, I don't know whether she had considered all these problems above, if she did , I think she was great because of her selflessness. |
She would be selfish if she even considerates those problems??? what's the matter with you? she even shouldn't think about those actual problems?? Marine, sorry to tell you, you still have a cold heart. colder than you have known.
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Great? yes, we have different defination of it? Perhaps, I should say I respect the woman very much |
your definition is based on you own wish and your superficial viewpoints about the woman, not on the woman's feelings. luckily, that's just your own definition. yeah, you respect her, but you don't care about her. that's the point we are debating on. |
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Marine
Joined: 02 Apr 2003 Posts: 77
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 7:27 pm Post subject: |
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embarrassment?? why? for what? Should she feel embarrassed if she tried hard to chase a better life? you mean, you still insist that she deserves a bitter life for her disable husband? what's the matter with you? |
Sorry, I don't know whether there are a problem of your understanding or my expression. I have never ever meant that the woman deserved a bitter life for her husband, and nobody forece her to do that.
I had mentioned before, there should be some reasons that we don't know why she did not leave her husband, No matter what the reasons were, I would respect her and her choise.
And I don't want to quarrel about the damn *beep* sex problem regardless of others things anymore, because we don't know exaclty what their sex life was.
Anybody would get different answers when he reveal a problem from different point. You, I , and the woman are living in different enviorment, the background, the knowlege, the personal character, the local custom etc... would affect us to take our choise. So I should understand other one's choise meanwhile keep my own answer.
Maybe you can insist on that I just saw this problem superficially, and I didn't care the woman's feeling, and also I was cold heart. It doesn't matter. You got your own answer.
No matter how bitter (Maybe, I can't not make sure) the woman, for me, she is definitely worth respecting. _________________ Reading make a full man; conference a ready man; and writting a exact man. |
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Marine
Joined: 02 Apr 2003 Posts: 77
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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And I respect your choise, too! Redrose! _________________ Reading make a full man; conference a ready man; and writting a exact man. |
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RedRose

Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 2735 Location: GuangZhou, China
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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Marine wrote: |
And I don't want to quarrel about the damn *beep* sex problem regardless of others things anymore, because we don't know exaclty what their sex life was. |
sorry that you got so furious. You see, the foul language blocker just blocked your words. Have you heard a saying: when people get mad and insane, they just can't help using foul language. Marine, I am soooo sorry for your bad mood. before we had a debate, you had just a cold heart, but now you even have a terrible mood in addition.
remember, our conversation was based on a precondition: what if they have no sex life for his disability? Therefore, it's ok that you don't know what their sex life was. and you don't have to feel guilty anyway.
Marine, although you are cold-hearted, but I still wish you a happy life.
Enjoy your life and your superficial philosophy.
and sorry for your bad mood again.  |
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