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jarodlovely
Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 62
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 Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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As a Chinese, I think Chinese people are honest but not as straight forward as most westerners. I believe the main problem is the usage of English words. Maybe they didn't really mean it when they said things in a plain and straignt forward way, just because they can not find more proper and soft words to express themselves. But trust me, when they say things like "you are gaining weight", they don't mean to hurt you...  
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wing
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 193
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject: Re: Do you think Chinese are too honest? |
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| seventy-two wrote: |
| m1s57 wrote: |
I'm a Japanese student. I go to a university.
I have some friends who came from China. They are kind and have a good thinking. I like them very much.
But I think they are sometimes too honest. For example, my friend who gets fat, they say "Recently, you get fat, don't you? You should lose weight right now! " to her even she cares about that. I was surprised. Of course she looked down.
Surely, what they said is true. However, they could say more softly. If they have said softly, she wasn't hurt.
Is honest always good thing?
I don't think so... |
I was surprised to see the subject of your post, but later understood what you meant. I am not Chinese but I work here in China, and the Chinese never struck me as honest. There's a lot of cheating going on and they do not have qualms on doing so and will deny doing so even when you catch them. And they do this not only to foreigners but to their fellow Chinese as well.
I do agree with what you said about them being honest to their friends -- to the point of what would strike foreigners as being rude or offensive. But this is their way of showing that they consider you a good friend.
There are nice things I can say about the Chinese people -- they are the most hospitable people I have met in my entire life; they are hard-working, smart. But I wouldn't say they are honest. |
lol... You know Chinese people as much as Chinese people do. Treating somebody to restaurants is the most remarkable thing they do to show their hospitality, and glad-handing sometimes.
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Go where you wanna go; Do what you wanna do; With whoever you wanna do it with ---Mamas & Papas |
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jxtommy
Joined: 10 Dec 2005
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 2:56 am Post subject: no |
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chinese aren`t honest at all,they often tell lies to cover sth,and they tell one thing but mean another.
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wing
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 193
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| Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:52 am Post subject: Re: no |
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That is what all kind of peoples on earth would do, ha. It isn't funny at all that the Chinese CAN tell lies.
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Go where you wanna go; Do what you wanna do; With whoever you wanna do it with ---Mamas & Papas |
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ingamike
Joined: 18 Nov 2006
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:44 pm Post subject: |
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| I do not think they are too honest. That I call inconsiderate and rude. I agree. There are many other ways to say it without hurting somebody else feelings. |
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beancurdturtle
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Southern California
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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| ingamike wrote: |
| That I call inconsiderate and rude. I agree. There are many other ways to say it without hurting somebody else feelings. |
You see it as rude because it is culturally different than what you are accustomed to.
It's better to accept it, then politely tell them what is correct in their current social environment.
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Daniel
�Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.�
--Dr. Seuss |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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| ingamike wrote: |
| I do not think they are too honest. That I call inconsiderate and rude. I agree. There are many other ways to say it without hurting somebody else feelings. |
Maybe you are too sensitive and fragile. so it would be the right time for you to make yourself a little stronger after listening to Chinese people's speaking  |
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wing
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 193
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| ingamike wrote: |
| I do not think they are too honest. That I call inconsiderate and rude. I agree. There are many other ways to say it without hurting somebody else feelings. |
Some remarks like "You need to lose weigh as I think you are too fat" are mostly considered polite assertiveness level among friends in Chinese society that hardly hurts somebody's feelings, I suppose.
Well, there is no question about cultural differences. It is just the same condition that I can't accept some Japanese etiquette like bowing to someone, which seems to me they are hypocritical. However, it is just a matter of routine, no wonder to ponder, right?
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Go where you wanna go; Do what you wanna do; With whoever you wanna do it with ---Mamas & Papas
Last edited by wing on Sat Nov 25, 2006 10:20 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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jarodlovely
Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 62
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brunette
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 51
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| Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:33 am Post subject: Re: Do you think Chinese are too honest? |
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| m1s57 wrote: |
I'm a Japanese student. I go to a university.
I have some friends who came from China. They are kind and have a good thinking. I like them very much.
But I think they are sometimes too honest. For example, my friend who gets fat, they say " to her even she cares about that. I was surprised. Of course she looked down.
Surely, what they said is true. However, they could say more softly. If they have said softly, she wasn't hurt.
Is honest always good thing?
I don't think so... |
I think, m1s57, what made you uncomfortable is not a matter of honesty. I'm sure you watch Hollywood movies? And you'll often hear two very close friends (especially girls) say something like, "You look like sh*t, sweetie!" "I hate the color of your lipstick!" "Eew!That dress is gross!How could you have bought it?" This is, in fact , a way of showing their intimacy.
And so is the function and purpose of saying "Recently, you get fat, don't you? You should lose weight right now! " by your Chinese friend. Practically, if a colleague or a common friend says something like "I found I am putting on weight now. I just can't help eating chocolate!" according to the social norm in China I should respond something like,"I think you look just fine now. besides, everybody gets fat in winter." But if she is my very close friend, I'd say something like, "Come on, baby, keep eating and one day you'll be a perfect match for the trash can (big one)."
So you see, your Chinese friend is treating you as her close friend, or she wants to have closer relationship with you. If you are not accustomed, just tell her straight about your feelings, she shall see how to keep a distance. |
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planck4
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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Actualy, Chinese people tend to have very high cultural background.
What does it mean?
They dont talk about their own opinion directly.
In author's case, i think that Chinese guy(or girl, ^^) was going to lose weigh with ur friend, he (she) might want to do exercise and sports with ur friend, and he (she) just dont want to say it........
another example is in class, Chinese students are quiet, sitting on a corner. They dont talk, they just listen to other's poinion. but, if the tutor asked him/her to answer question, they know the answer and they will answer it, lol |
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planck4
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:53 pm Post subject: Re: no |
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| jxtommy wrote: |
| chinese aren`t honest at all,they often tell lies to cover sth,and they tell one thing but mean another. |
sometimes, I mean in some case, its ture, ^^
Relationship is very, very, very important to Chinese people. Chinese will do anything they can do, of coz it must be worthy, in order to keep relationship with some1.
If that 'thing' has anything harmful to his/her friend(s), he/she will try his/her best to destroy it.
So, sometimes Chinese might be very confused and bored, coz that 'thing' is from his/her friend A, friend A loves it, but it is harmful to friend B...... |
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planck4
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:00 pm Post subject: Re: Do you think Chinese are too honest? |
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| brunette wrote: |
| m1s57 wrote: |
I'm a Japanese student. I go to a university.
I have some friends who came from China. They are kind and have a good thinking. I like them very much.
But I think they are sometimes too honest. For example, my friend who gets fat, they say " to her even she cares about that. I was surprised. Of course she looked down.
Surely, what they said is true. However, they could say more softly. If they have said softly, she wasn't hurt.
Is honest always good thing?
I don't think so... |
I think, m1s57, what made you uncomfortable is not a matter of honesty. I'm sure you watch Hollywood movies? And you'll often hear two very close friends (especially girls) say something like, "You look like sh*t, sweetie!" "I hate the color of your lipstick!" "Eew!That dress is gross!How could you have bought it?" This is, in fact , a way of showing their intimacy.
And so is the function and purpose of saying "Recently, you get fat, don't you? You should lose weight right now! " by your Chinese friend. Practically, if a colleague or a common friend says something like "I found I am putting on weight now. I just can't help eating chocolate!" according to the social norm in China I should respond something like,"I think you look just fine now. besides, everybody gets fat in winter." But if she is my very close friend, I'd say something like, "Come on, baby, keep eating and one day you'll be a perfect match for the trash can (big one)."
So you see, your Chinese friend is treating you as her close friend, or she wants to have closer relationship with you. If you are not accustomed, just tell her straight about your feelings, she shall see how to keep a distance. |
ya, i agree, that might be possible 2.
Chinese students do a lot of homework before going abroad. They learn a lot about foreign culture.
but not every1 does a good work, some1 still dont know how to communicate with foreign people when they are talking with 'local foreigners' lol
just take it easy, i suggest. and just tell the chinese he/she was not talking the right thing, then he/she learns, there wont be next time, ^_^ |
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