|
Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Students and Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Tone
Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 175
|
 Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:42 am Post subject: Sex: before of after? |
 |
|
I know that it's very common for a couple nowaday to have sex before getting marry but in many countries, especially eastern countries. We still believe that it is not good to do that.
Personally, I agree that it's not good because we might have many problems afterward such as pregnancy or some venereal diseases. Understand that the world is chaning rapidly and sooner or later we will not care about this kind of culture anymore. Many people do not even believe in marriage anymore.....
Want to hear some good opinions about it.
_________________
==>English Quiz |English Grammar |English Conversation<== |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
I think everybody has to decide by his own.
The arguments which speak for sex before marriage is of course experience, fun, and you will be seen as desirable/hot because you already had girlfriend/ experience when you were 15.
The negative point is that people will think you are second-hand.  They will think: If you already left one, you will also leave the second, the third. And people who look for a steady relationship won't be looking for you primary.
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
Tone, what era are you living in right now? if a couple love each other, and they sleep together spontaneously, what's wrong with that??
Your words sound like my grandmother talking. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Lorikeet
Joined: 08 Oct 2005
Posts: 1877
Location: San Francisco
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:14 am Post subject: |
|
|
| ad-miral wrote: |
I think everybody has to decide by his own.
The arguments which speak for sex before marriage is of course experience, fun, and you will be seen as desirable/hot because you already had girlfriend/ experience when you were 15.
|
I think there is a big difference between jumping into bed with anyone who comes along because you think it's fun, and trying out sex before you agree to marriage, which is supposed to last for ever. I think living together before you get married makes sense. It is easier to separate if things don't work out, and it is easy to get married if things do. Living together is probably more important than just the sex part anyway, because if you marry someone you are making a commitment to stay together. I'd rather have people live together before they get married, and then stay married, than get divorced four times. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hoshi
Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 564
Location: At the best place of your dreams :D Loveland
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:41 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hey I agree with RR. By the way if you do it in a responsable way there is no problem. Right?
_________________
God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God gave us only one heart? Because He wants us to find the other one! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:55 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Lorikeet wrote: |
| I think living together before you get married makes sense. It is easier to separate if things don't work out, and it is easy to get married if things do. Living together is probably more important than just the sex part anyway, because if you marry someone you are making a commitment to stay together. |
Yay, living together before the sex part, it's a very important thing. I also agree to you that we have to think about the possibility of marriage, if we are together with someone, and not just fun and over.
Because, for "fun and over", I think it's better to go to a brothel. I can't flirt anyway and giving my precious effort out, just for fun, is too labouring for me.
| RedRose wrote: |
Tone, what era are you living in right now? if a couple love each other, and they sleep together spontaneously, what's wrong with that??
Your words sound like my grandmother talking. |
I think many people have reasons not to sleep spontaneously, some because they think they can get better ones, some because they don't feel they are old enough yet, and some because they think they can't trust their partner completely yet.
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
garfield_jesse
Joined: 17 Oct 2005
Posts: 271
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
Some my friends daren't have sex before married because they think unlucky, if they break up in the future, it is so difficult for them to find another one because they are not virgin ( Almost men in my country want his wife still virgin while they can sleep with a lot of women...so selffish )
| Quote: |
| If a couple love each other, and they sleep together spontaneously, what's wrong with that?? |
I do agree. I'm mature, i know what i should do. But you should have knowledge about sex before do it, some methods to prevent pregnancy and avoiding venereal deseases.
_________________
I'm smart, that's why i'm single...haha(^_^) |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 8:31 am Post subject: |
|
|
| garfield_jesse wrote: |
| Almost men in my country want his wife still virgin while they can sleep with a lot of women...so selffish |
that's not only selfish, it's also stupid sexism |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Bob S.
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:42 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Lorikeet wrote: |
| I think living together before you get married makes sense. It is easier to separate if things don't work out, and it is easy to get married if things do. ...I'd rather have people live together before they get married, and then stay married, than get divorced four times. |
You know, that might seem like common sense, but statistics show it actually isn't. Studies in Canada and the U.K. show that cohabitation before marriage has more problems than not living together.
Firstly, there is the question of fidelity. Women who just shack up are 3 times as likely to cheat on their man as a married woman, and cohabitating men are more than 5 times as likely to cheat on their partner as a married man. And secondly, couples who cohabitate before marriage are 50% to 80% more likely to divorce as the general population.
Of course there are questions regarding cause and effect of that higher divorce rate. For example, younger people tend to cohabitate more, and the younger you are when you marry, the higher your divorce rate; and if you do not generally esteme marriage for whatever personal reasons, you are more likely to avoid marriage whether you chose to shack up or seek an escape from marriage if you do get married.
Basically, if you value marriage, avoid living together before marriage. If marriage is not important to you, chose to shack up if you wish, but don't make any kids. Odds are, your live-in honey will cheat on you and dump you eventually (statistically speaking, the average shack-up relationship lasts about 2.5 years).
_________________
"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| Firstly, there is the question of fidelity. Women who just shack up are 3 times as likely to cheat on their man as a married woman, and cohabitating men are more than 5 times as likely to cheat on their partner as a married man. And secondly, couples who cohabitate before marriage are 50% to 80% more likely to divorce as the general population. |
| Quote: |
| Basically, if you value marriage, avoid living together before marriage. |
 Really? So if we value marriage, we should just marry as soon as possible? That's very bad...
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hoshi
Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 564
Location: At the best place of your dreams :D Loveland
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:38 am Post subject: |
|
|
| RedRose wrote: |
| garfield_jesse wrote: |
| Almost men in my country want his wife still virgin while they can sleep with a lot of women...so selffish |
that's not only selfish, it's also stupid sexism |
Agree!!!
_________________
God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God gave us only one heart? Because He wants us to find the other one! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Tone
Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 175
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 7:44 am Post subject: |
|
|
Redrose.. it's not like I totoally disagree. If they are in love with each other and they are mature enough... they can have sex before marry.
_________________
==>English Quiz |English Grammar |English Conversation<== |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
beancurdturtle
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Southern California
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Lorikeet wrote: |
I think there is a big difference between jumping into bed with anyone who comes along because you think it's fun, and trying out sex before you agree to marriage, which is supposed to last for ever. I think living together before you get married makes sense. It is easier to separate if things don't work out, and it is easy to get married if things do. Living together is probably more important than just the sex part anyway, because if you marry someone you are making a commitment to stay together. I'd rather have people live together before they get married, and then stay married, than get divorced four times. |
Amen to that sister!
I've been married and divorced twice - and I wasn't divorced because the sex was bad.
You don't know what it's like to be a parent until you are one, and you never really get to know what it's like to live with someone until you live with them.
By the way Tone. There are ways to almost completely reduce the risk of both venereal disease and pregnancy. Anyone who doesn't know (and practice) this, isn't responsible enough to be having sex anyway.
_________________
Daniel
�Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.�
--Dr. Seuss |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
beancurdturtle
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Southern California
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:31 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| RedRose wrote: |
| that's not only selfish, it's also stupid sexism |
Is there any other kind of sexism? I don't think so.
_________________
Daniel
�Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.�
--Dr. Seuss |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hoshi
Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 564
Location: At the best place of your dreams :D Loveland
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
before, during and after
_________________
God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God gave us only one heart? Because He wants us to find the other one! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
