Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[RedRose]

Are you appearance-oriented?

A guy once asked me out, and we had dinner in a restaurant. he told me:"guess what? in the world, 90% of men are appearance-oriented, and I am one of them." I said:"really? I don't think so. I think most men are not appearance-oriented. you know? most women are not appearance-oriented." he said:"if a man isn't appearance-oriented, then he must be abnormal."

Maybe he was kidding.

what is your viewpoint? are you an appearance-oriented person?

[stellara]

yes, i am
but that doesn't mean that i only look after really handsome people, who look like a model or so, i just care about my personal looks and i like people who look after themselves too.
i'm not arrogant - at least i hope so - i'm no model-type myself. but i think everyone is in some way appearence-oriented just because the first thing you see or notice about a person are her/his looks, in case you aren't blind of course no, kidding.

for my opinion, looks are just as important as personality is, but everyone has his own definition of good looks or a good-looking person. for example, take jennifer lopez - most men say she's the best-looking and sexiest and the most attractive woman in the world but i know many men who say she's not pretty at all. so how comes that? there are also women who say she's pretty and some who say she's really ugly - okay, may be jealousy, too

but if one could define good-looks for everyone in the world, then the "ugly" people would be just alone forever in their lifes, never be loved, never get married. except if someone goes for the ugly..

if someone is really in love with another person, then this person probably is his/her definitoion of beauty - in- and outside.

greets
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Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[RedRose]

I used to be appearance-oriented, but now I am not so much appearance-oriented anymore. because I think, appearances are not so important compared with capabilities, sense of humor, good personalities...

however, I am partly appearance-oriented, who isn't?

[stellara]

yeah, maybe we could say that appearence becomes the more unimportant the better you know the person
greets
_________________
Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[RedRose]

later I asked another guy:"do you think 90% of men in the world are appearance-oriented? a guy I know said so."

the guy answered:"no, he was wrong. I don't agree. I think, in the world, 100% of men are appearance-oriented." in order to prove he was wrong, I told a true story of my uncle and aunt. my uncle(my dad's brother) was a handsome guy, many women loved her, but he finally married an ugly woman. I once asked him:"Uncle, I don't understand why you married her, she isn't as good-looking as you." my uncle said:"you are too young to get this secret. you know? in general, those men, who marry pretty women, can't live very old."

Listening to this story, this guy said:"so, you think your uncle isn't appearance-oriented? No! he is! he was physically attracted to an ugly woman. maybe that woman had something to attract your uncle. in this way, your uncle is still appearance-oriented"

[cigarette]

I am too. if a girl is ugly, I even have no interest to take a look at her. I like beautiful girls. My girlfriend is very pretty and smart.

I am an ugly guy I think, but my girlfriend dosen't think so. she often tells me that she thinks I am handsome. Maybe that is the way to make me feel better. just because I am ugly, so I can't marry an ugly girl. I hope my baby is pretty, so I have to date a beautiful girl.

[stellara]

i prefer handsome guys
i son't think that good looks leads to more unfaithfulness.. it depends mostly on the character of the man, as it does with women.
greets
_________________
Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[stellara]

as i said somewhere else (or above, i don't remember ) i'm no model type but i find myself pretty, yes at least, pretty enough. i look really terrible sometimes (when i wake up in the morning for example, my hair stands up like crazy because it's quite short) but i can make myself good-looking when i'm good, even very-good-looking
_________________
Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[stellara]

hey, don't offend me! don't you think i should believe that i'm pretty?!
and why's that optimistic? it's just true..
_________________
Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[cigarette]

stellara got Mr'Admiral wrong.

Mr.Admiral was praising stellara's confidence. and stellara, I believe you are a pretty girl. because a confident girl is always beautiful.

[stellara]

okay thank you

my self-confidence seems not to be so high as you see it.. i just thought you were ironic.. sorry!

sometimes i don't believe myself that i'm pretty and i have to convince myself eventually.. so i tend to jump at every little might-be offend i see but it's already much better now than it was when i was younger, i had sooo much complexes

... *jumpingwithjoy*

greets
_________________
Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[cigarette]

stellara, I am not ironic. I am serious.

[stellara]

i thought Admiral was ironic, not you, cigarette, sorry
but this is nice to hear, too

yes, i think you can be both. firstly, it doesn't exclude each other consequently. i am appearence-oriented in a way that i look after - in my opinion - good-looking guys but i also want to have someone who has inner values. usually you are mixed-oriented i think, some more appearence, some more personality.
ike i said, both is important.

greets
_________________
Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[RedRose]

[stellara]