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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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 Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 6:08 pm Post subject: What would you do if your partner is in a bad mood? |
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My friend asked me this question yesterday. Her husband has got very upset recently. My friend couldn't figure out what happened to him, and when she asked him why he was so upset, he just said:"don't ask me, I will be good soon." and It has been 7 days since her husband got upset, and my friend dosen't think his husband is gonna stop being angry. so she asked me:"what can I do?"
I answered:"what a jerk he is! you wanna share his unhappiness, but he just dosen't give you a damn! You wanna know how I deal with such jerks? just tell him: No sex! No Dinner! see what he will say!"
My friend smiled:"but he hasn't seemed to want sex since he was in a bad mood, so your advice is not gonna work on him, plus, now he is sick of food, you know, due to his bad mood. so that's not gonna work on him either. but I really worry..."
Guys, I am here to ask for the solution, what would you do if you are in the same boat as my friend? Thanks in advance |
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eddfx
Joined: 27 Mar 2007
Posts: 38
Location: Behind you!
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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Being in a bad mood that effects eating and loving for a week is not a good sign. Thinking of the worse�
Did he lose his job?
Is he cheating on her?
He find out shes cheating on him?
The only way to make sure is to have him tell her what is wrong. There really is no other way.
As for you RedRose, stay away from that situation. Nothing good can come of it. The best thing you can do is be nice and caring. The less opinion you have to give her the better for you.
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Dixie
Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 169
Location: Catalunya
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| Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 1:50 am Post subject: |
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I totally agree with eddfx. They should talk about their problems and try to find a solution, if there is any.
And I also think that you should stay away from this, RR. It's a matter between them; you shouldn't interfere. |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 2:49 am Post subject: |
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eddfx and Dixie, I agree with you guys. I just tried to give some useful advice, since I can't help it, then I should let it go.
Maybe I should suggest my friend be naked in front of her husband? That may work  |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 3:09 am Post subject: |
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I answered:"what a jerk he is! you wanna share his unhappiness, but he just dosen't give you a damn! You wanna know how I deal with such jerks? just tell him: No sex! No Dinner! see what he will say!"
My friend smiled:"but he hasn't seemed to want sex since he was in a bad mood, so your advice is not gonna work on him, plus, now he is sick of food, you know, due to his bad mood. so that's not gonna work on him either. but I really worry..." |
I think if he doesn't say he wants sex, doesn't mean he really doesn't want. I would suggest your friend to force her husband to have sex with her to let the husband realize how good the world is besides of his own problem. And maybe he feels lonely and in cage, or he feels he is worthless (because he doesn't want to eat). So if your friend forces her husband to have sex maybe she can show that she wants him and that he is not worthless.
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If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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| ad-miral wrote: |
I think if he doesn't say he wants sex, doesn't mean he really doesn't want. I would suggest your friend to force her husband to have sex with her to let the husband realize how good the world is besides of his own problem. And maybe he feels lonely and in cage, or he feels he is worthless (because he doesn't want to eat). So if your friend forces her husband to have sex maybe she can show that she wants him and that he is not worthless. |
Come on! a woman can't force a man to have sex  Have you even heard that a woman could rape a man? No! not chance |
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garfield_jesse
Joined: 17 Oct 2005
Posts: 271
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 1:43 am Post subject: |
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| RedRose wrote: |
| ad-miral wrote: |
I think if he doesn't say he wants sex, doesn't mean he really doesn't want. I would suggest your friend to force her husband to have sex with her to let the husband realize how good the world is besides of his own problem. And maybe he feels lonely and in cage, or he feels he is worthless (because he doesn't want to eat). So if your friend forces her husband to have sex maybe she can show that she wants him and that he is not worthless. |
Come on! a woman can't force a man to have sex Have you even heard that a woman could rape a man? No! not chance |
Women should be initiative in bed...My friend said. 
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I'm smart, that's why i'm single...haha(^_^) |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 5:03 am Post subject: |
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| RedRose wrote: |
Come on! a woman can't force a man to have sex Have you even heard that a woman could rape a man? No! not chance |
She doesn't have to rape him... Maaan RedRose and dirty thoughts. I only mean she could go and caress him saying maybe: "darling please don't hurt me with that, every teardrop of you breaks my heart again and again..." (and more caress, maybe also physically, etc.) Do you call this "rape"????
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
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beancurdturtle
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Southern California
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 9:54 am Post subject: |
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| garfield_jesse wrote: |
| Women should be initiative in bed... |
May I come visit you?
---
Ok,
I think we have too little information about this couple to answer intelligently.
For example, is this man the kind that does not talk about challenges until he is done dealing with them? Is it only a personal challenge and not an affair? If so, she can say "I know you are having a difficult time, you don't need to tell me what it is - but I'm here to help or listen if you want it." Then when he is done he will feel safe to talk to her about it. But that's only one possibility.
If I don't know a little about their life and personality it's very difficult to conjecture what is the right suggestion.
I wish them much luck.
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Daniel
�Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.�
--Dr. Seuss |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:11 am Post subject: |
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another friend told me that the husband I mentioned above had visited some hookers. and one of the hookers threatened him for money. but he just didn't want his wife to know about this affair.
I hope that's not the truth. yeah, good luck to the couple. |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 10:50 am Post subject: |
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that's very disgusting dear, but why don't you say "whores" instead of "hookers"?
I think the woman should seperate from him. Oh god the world is just so unfair, so many bad things happen... Even a marriage can't last long enough, not mentioning about relationships.
See the big advantage for becoming a monk?
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
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Dixie
Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 169
Location: Catalunya
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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| RedRose wrote: |
another friend told me that the husband I mentioned above had visited some hookers. and one of the hookers threatened him for money. but he just didn't want his wife to know about this affair.
I hope that's not the truth. yeah, good luck to the couple. |
 This story is starting to turn into a soap opera  |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Dixie wrote: |
This story is starting to turn into a soap opera |
But I can't believe what my friend told me about the hooker thing. because that husband dosen't seem so fickle, he is a shy guy. I guess my friend was joking.
and Admiral, hooker sounds more informal than whore dose. when I watch English movies, I always hear people say "hooker", instead of "whore". I don't know why.
PS, as a monk, you can't visit hookers, and that's supposed to be the disadvantage. |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 4:02 am Post subject: |
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Who said monks are not able to do it? In China, I know some horny stylish monks from our shao-lin-school
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
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Bob S.
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 4:42 pm Post subject: Re: What would you do if your partner is in a bad mood? |
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| RedRose wrote: |
My friend asked me this question yesterday. Her husband has got very upset recently. My friend couldn't figure out what happened to him, and when she asked him why he was so upset, he just said:"don't ask me, I will be good soon." and It has been 7 days since her husband got upset, and my friend dosen't think his husband is gonna stop being angry. so she asked me:"what can I do?"...
Guys, I am here to ask for the solution, what would you do if you are in the same boat as my friend? Thanks in advance |
If he is having troubles at work or with his family, he may think he is being kind by not troubling her with his problems. He may not realize that his bad mood is still causing trouble.
So first, she should make sure he is not angry at her. She should start by asking "What have I done that has made you so angry?" That will at least get him talking a little. He will probably say "It is nothing you did. It is something else." If he doesn't say more about it, she should not press him too much. Guys do not like to whine about their problems. Guys prefer to brood and think of a solution.
The best thing she could say at that point is "Darling sweetie, I have known you a long time, and I know you are a smart and hard working man. Whatever the trouble is, I have confidence in you that you will find a solution. And everything will work out for the best." Then give him a back rub and a hug. As a guy, I understand this. Trust me, he just needs a good massage to both his ego and tired body.
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper |
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