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why we have to LOVE , MARRY
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Sina



Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah i know..but is there any guarantee a all that I will ever encounter again a guy who really loves me? you don't know what will happen in your life...there are a great bundle of people living alone and not finding the right partner...
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stellara



Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 583
Location: germany

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah, and maybe you just live your life happily and find your partner out of the blue! Laughing
that's what i wish for me and everyone else!!
greets Very Happy
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pinkhair



Joined: 08 Mar 2005
Posts: 70
Location: hanoi

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

maybe i'm wrong ( really unusual )
because I haven't any experience about love
but I think , maybe you should try your best in st and then you can forget him and fell better
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weiyao



Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 105

PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinkhair wrote:
however , maybe you aren't asia people
so , you can't understand my culture
If you're enough old
your family will order you marry


i think maybe your parents just want someone to take care of you in case they can't do that. All the parents love their children, they want their children have a better life. So don't blame your parents.
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RedRose



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 5:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah, Chinese parents always control their kids, so are my parents Laughing

however, now I live in another city, far from my parents! that is amazing! I can make my own decisions myself!!!

and why do we have to love? it is simply because we have hormone running in our bodies.
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Sina



Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it isn't right of your parents to order when you ought to marry. Even though they just want the best having a sense of responsibilty and wanting to care for you, you are nevertheless old enough and apart from that, your parents actually can't force you to marry.
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RedRose



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 1:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sina wrote:
I think it isn't right of your parents to order when you ought to marry. Even though they just want the best having a sense of responsibilty and wanting to care for you, you are nevertheless old enough and apart from that, your parents actually can't force you to marry.


they didn't obviously force me, they just gave me some invisible pressure, you knew, under that pressure, it was hard NOT to get married.
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Bob S.



Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal

PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

RedRose wrote:
they didn't obviously force me, they just gave me some invisible pressure, you knew, under that pressure, it was hard NOT to get married.

yeah, that is the way of life. A parent's job is not complete until their child is grown, married, and has kids of their own.
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Blossom



Joined: 30 May 2005
Posts: 291
Location: Beijing China

PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 1:40 am    Post subject: Obedience Reply with quote

Oh, Bob S

You seem to know so little about Asian Culture. It is not about what can legally be done by the parents. It about obedience to parental authority.

You obviously cannot understand how Asian parents can control their children and how Asian children obey the wishes of their parents. Their wish is the child's command.
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RedRose



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China

PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 8:46 am    Post subject: Re: Obedience Reply with quote

Blossom wrote:
Oh, Bob S

You seem to know so little about Asian Culture. It is not about what can legally be done by the parents. It about obedience to parental authority.

You obviously cannot understand how Asian parents can control their children and how Asian children obey the wishes of their parents. Their wish is the child's command.


yeah, it is hard for a foreigner to understand Asian culture.
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Bob S.



Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal

PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:00 pm    Post subject: Pressure Reply with quote

Blossom wrote:
You seem to know so little about Asian Culture. It is not about what can legally be done by the parents. It about obedience to parental authority.
You obviously cannot understand how Asian parents can control their children and how Asian children obey the wishes of their parents. Their wish is the child's command.

Oh? What does that have to do with what I wrote? Are you saying that Chinese parents do NOT want their children to grow, get married, and make grandchildren? Are they somehow different from parents around the world? Let's ask Stellara in Germany, mkg in Egypt, Manuel in Argentina, Technomaniac in India, and anyone else from anywhere. Do their parents pressure them to get married and make a family? Is it strong pressure you think? Do they have to obey?
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RedRose



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China

PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 6:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Pressure Reply with quote

Bob S. wrote:
[
Oh? What does that have to do with what I wrote? Are you saying that Chinese parents do NOT want their children to grow, get married, and make grandchildren? Are they somehow different from parents around the world? Let's ask Stellara in Germany, mkg in Egypt, Manuel in Argentina, Technomaniac in India, and anyone else from anywhere. Do their parents pressure them to get married and make a family? Is it strong pressure you think? Do they have to obey?


Dear Boob,

Obviously, you have a hard time to understand Chinese Culture. yes, from your standpoint, it is unreasonable to obey parents' wishes and live under parents' pressure. but, when a thinking is rooted in a kid's mind, and this thinking is confirmed during his growing up, besides, society, cultural environment, education....the thinking is soaked everywhere! so it is hard for a person to resist such a strong thinking (pressure)!! On the comparison with these pressures, a person's ability is definitely limited!

Is my explanation helpful?
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stellara



Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 583
Location: germany

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hm, i think you got Bob a little wrong Wink
in every country parents want their children know safe in a own family with a nice husband and so on.. because only then a real parent can relax a little and don't have to worry so much about the future of their children.
in china the pressure to get married is much heavier i think, just because the culture is so different.

as for your question, my mom doesn't push me into a marriage, for that, i'm much too young Laughing i think she would be quite astonished if i'd say i'd marry..

greets
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Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!
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Bob S.



Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

stellara wrote:
in every country parents want their children know safe in a own family with a nice husband and so on.. because only then a real parent can relax a little and don't have to worry so much about the future of their children.
in china the pressure to get married is much heavier i think, just because the culture is so different.

That's it! Thank you!
RedRose and Blossom, I do not deny that the pressure from parents and society is stronger in most Asian cultures. But, however much or little pressure they may exert on their kids, most parents everywhere in every country generally want the same things for their kids: to have a happy, safe, and successful life as the parent best understands it. And they will try to guide their kids in that direction as best they can.
Though I think we all agree that Pinkhair is far too young to be getting married, it is only natural that her parents would push her in that direction eventually. If I were her dad, I'd be dropping hints about that after she graduated from University.
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RedRose



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob S:

Now I got your point Very Happy
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