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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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 Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 6:32 am Post subject: If I were a guy... |
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I have read a lof of love poems by some guys. I found that men always have a hard time to write love poems. therefor, I thought to myself:"what if I were a guy? I would write very amazing poems for girls!"
I tried to write a poem, and it was based on a false precondition: if I were a guy who was chasing a girl... here is the poem!
I have your picture
in my hands and heart
you look great in winter clothes
But I am imagining...
what if all these clothes are off....?
a imagination in the bottom of my heart
a naked girl
great shape
bright eyes!
Maybe more...
I hate when I have such a thought!
But your phote always reminds me of your body!
Aromatic body...
You make everything smell sexy!
I am getting into my coma,
you brought me love craziness
you are my sexy angel with some drugs
I want the coma forever!
I'd rather die of the coma you gave me
more than live without you around
Tell me where I can find you?
I would reserve a hotel for us
and I would prepare for some bath stuff
Believe me!
-------------------------------------------
Do you think it's romantic? if yes, why? if no, why? |
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technomaniac_tzp
Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 78
Location: India
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| Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:04 am Post subject: |
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I am a guy and I find your poem to be a piece of junk. There's nothing poetic or artistic in it. Come on, we guys don't just keep on thinking about sex. I did not find your poem at all romantic
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The difference between insanity and genius is measured by success |
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Lorikeet
Joined: 08 Oct 2005
Posts: 1877
Location: San Francisco
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| Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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| technomaniac_tzp wrote: |
| I am a guy and I find your poem to be a piece of junk. There's nothing poetic or artistic in it. Come on, we guys don't just keep on thinking about sex. I did not find your poem at all romantic |
Hmm I find your opinion to be a bit harsh. Poetry reflects the ideas of the poet. I thought it was poetic and artistic, whether or not I agree with the ideas expressed. |
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Bob S.
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal
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| Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 3:01 pm Post subject: Re: If I were a guy... |
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| RedRose wrote: |
| I have read a lot of love poems by some guys. I found that men always have a hard time to write love poems. therefor, I thought to myself:"what if I were a guy? I would write very amazing poems for girls!" |
Oh, no no no. If you were a guy, you would not write poetry because, well, it's such a girly thing, and if your friends found out they would tease you horribly. And, oh my gosh, what if she didn't like it? What if she laughed and your meager efforts? And then showed it to her firends and they laughed? A man's ego is a fragile thing and easily crushed.  Better to give flowers. You can't go wrong with flowers. Or chocolates. No one will laugh at chocolates. And you don't mind if she shares it with her friends.  |
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Cristi
Joined: 26 Aug 2005
Posts: 223
Location: Costa Rica
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| Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 6:09 pm Post subject: Re: If I were a guy... |
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| Bob S. wrote: |
| RedRose wrote: |
| I have read a lot of love poems by some guys. I found that men always have a hard time to write love poems. therefor, I thought to myself:"what if I were a guy? I would write very amazing poems for girls!" |
Oh, no no no. If you were a guy, you would not write poetry because, well, it's such a girly thing, and if your friends found out they would tease you horribly. And, oh my gosh, what if she didn't like it? What if she laughed and your meager efforts? And then showed it to her firends and they laughed? A man's ego is a fragile thing and easily crushed. Better to give flowers. You can't go wrong with flowers. Or chocolates. No one will laugh at chocolates. And you don't mind if she shares it with her friends. |
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! 
That poem was sooooooooooooooo funny!!
And well, Bob's correct in some way, you know the part of the chocolates and flowers, that's much more romantic than a poem, sometimes.
Poems are beautiful but the author has to be very good to make it go directly to the heart of us, girls. Besides, I think it is embarrasing to receive a poem from your boyfriend....
But there's something on which I don't agry with Bob, and it is that "poetry is a girly thing". I don't think that's true, poets are cool, they are philosophycal and have deep thoughts. Pablo Neruda, Jos� Mart�, Federico Garc�a Lorca, all of them were poets, and amazing ones!!
Anyway, chocates are delicious and flowers are nice. Let's leave poetry to those who are talented and inspired.
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�PURA VIDA! Carpe Diem
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear."
Mark Twain. |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 4:47 am Post subject: |
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Thanks guys for your comments!
Actually, I am a Medical Teacher, working for a Medicine college. I am not a real poet. you know what? As a Chinese woman, I even don't know how to come up with a Chinese poem, therefor, you can imagine how awful my English poem would be 
Anyway, Lorikeet, Bob, Cristi thanks again for your encouragements. With you guys' encouragement, I would stick with my poem-writing. Maybe someday I can become the most excellent poet on Dave forum.
And technomaniac_tzp, sorry that you hate my poem. I guess I would write some decent poems to please you guys in the future. But sorry to tell you, I won't stop my poem-writing. Now I am crazy about poem-writing. |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:07 am Post subject: |
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XW, I just found out the poem I wrote!! remember why I decided to write this poem??
God!!! I can't believe it!! Did I write it? yes, I did!! it happened one year ago!! but I wouldn't call it "poem" anymore!
I thought I was the material of writing poems! what a hilarious thought!sometimes we couldn't realize what kind of people are actually are. however, as time gose by, and we look back, we will find out how rediculous we used to be
I finally decide to give up my dream of becoming a poet.  |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 8:21 am Post subject: |
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 You told me you don't like my poems, I asked you why, and you showed me that poem. I have loved the line "I'm getting into my coma" and I remember it even now, it's so hilarious.
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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| oh! I am glad you didn't use the poem to woo girls. otherwise, girls would have got away from you |
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garfield_jesse
Joined: 17 Oct 2005
Posts: 271
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 1:57 am Post subject: |
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I hate poem. If guy intent to make friends with me by poem...how awful it is 
I have read your poem like a short literature....it's funny
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I'm smart, that's why i'm single...haha(^_^) |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:22 am Post subject: |
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| garfield_jesse wrote: |
I hate poem. If guy intent to make friends with me by poem...how awful it is
I have read your poem like a short literature....it's funny |
thanks a million for calling it "literature"
I don't like men writing poems neither. |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:18 am Post subject: |
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you are right, poems can only confuse the real meaning
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
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nana123
Joined: 18 Sep 2005
Posts: 53
Location: Somewhere in USA, Thailand, or Japan
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| Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:37 am Post subject: |
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nice... your poem makes me smile it's a little bit "hentai"... not for chirldren under 18 -_-"
If I were a guy chasing a girl, maybe I'll just send her a text msg:
Maybe they think you're an angel.
Maybe they think your're so crazy.
Maybe they think you're a psycho.
I don't care as long as you're my girlfriend... 
Ok... I admit it, I'm a bad poet... (T^T)
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"Life Goes On" ^_^
http://365d.blogspot.com
http://www.myspace.com/365d |
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ad-miral
Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 1488
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| Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 6:51 am Post subject: |
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Well against all attacks of RR I think poem is something very good for guys who can't sing songs.
I wrote this:
I used to hear songs of love
recalling in my ears
the voices remind me, you will be safe
as I looked in your eyes
Girl, your voice like heavenly smile
I never knew what to say
only wish you, to stay a while
near me, till the stars fade away
Sometimes my mood can't be low
no matter what I do
in such times I always know
My mind has been left in you
It were lonely summer winds
Flew by the window, tried to bind
The memories, these months
Since my plane leaded homewards
How you combed your hair with fingers
When you touched the bloom of flower
The thoughts of that days
You beside me, the flush in your face
A boy in my age often dreams
Imagining a girl who fits to him
This must be the truth
You are the girl in my dreams
(Songtext "Magic of home" witten by Ciga (feat. Charles Simmons))
For you my feelings are true
the sound of my heart never apart from you
discover a place where there's nothing more to face
cause the magic of home is true
yes, the magic of home is true with you.
First time, I saw your smile
and just for a while I felt this can't be real
this love is strong, give it a place to belong
cause the magic of home is true
yes, the magic of home is true with you.
A place where our hearts beat as one
covered with feelings, emotions so strong
the magic of home makes me free
it's everything to me.
Go on and let it begin
find yourself in two arms that hold you tight
believe in me, you are my destiny
cause the magic of home is true
yes, the magic of home is true with you.
A place where our hearts beat as one
covered with feelings, emotions so strong
the magic of home makes me free
it's everything to me.
With you, my day dreams come true
no word I can spell can tell my love to you
so take my hand, keep it and don't let this end
cause the magic of home is true
yes, the magic of home is true with you.
When I stayed awake just to hear a phrase of you
When I lay on bed I heard the words from you
As we walked along the street
Girl I memorised each word
Long ago I dreamed of you
Now I know I can't let you go
Because at the time not long ago
You showed me that love won't go
Now I'm like being next to you
Although I know this can't be true
But you know I will be thinking of you
whenever you do
Like the songs of bird we hear in the spring
Or the slight of wish we make before night
Are the moments where you make me sing
Or the moment I wished to hold you tight
How the water belongs to the earth
Like the drops of falling rain
Outside the window, I want to be near
Beside you, girlfriend
Like roaring we hear under the waterfall
Or the moon following after the sun
The wishes won't stop, not at all
And you know my heart will go on
And all this I feel for you
But why, why do you always stay cold?
How can I give my love to you
If you're feeling cold inside
Your voice always low and tide
My heart feels being lied
Can I see you near my side?
I know you do and I will do
I worry, so worry, what could be told
To you my love, not to you
_________________
If I say "I love you" to someone, then I also have to say "I also love everyone else inside you, I love the whole world because of you, I also love myself inside you." -- Erich Fromm, the Art of Love |
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RedRose
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China
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| Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:32 am Post subject: |
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| nana wrote: |
Maybe they think you're an angel.
Maybe they think your're so crazy.
Maybe they think you're a psycho.
I don't care as long as you're my girlfriend... |
hahahahahahahahaha!! that cracks me up a lot!!! how about this?
Amended by RedRose
Maybe you think you're an angel.
Maybe you think your're so crazy.
Maybe you think you're a psycho.
I don't care as long as you're my girlfriend...
and XW, your poem is good |
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