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I need somebody's help ....who is a professional writer ....

 
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henrywu



Joined: 17 Oct 2006
Posts: 11

PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 12:16 am    Post subject: I need somebody's help ....who is a professional writer .... Reply with quote

Please help me go through and proffread the folloing sentences ....

Thanks a million

1) My clients are flexible about the conditions/terms we requested.
2) In terms of the delivery time is not flexible, it always take seven-day to deliver products.
3) I want you to know that we don't have any hostility towards your company despite last year's mix-up.
4) Please don�t put any blame on her despite last misunderstanding.
5) I'm planning to high-ball my expectations when I open the discussion.
6) They were so indecisive we finally asked them to take a break and come back next week.
7) After a bit of log-rolling we came to an agreement that pleased both of us.
Cool I was expecting my boss to low-ball in the initial offer, but he proposed a fair salary increase.
9) After three hours discussion, my clients and us have made a mutual decision to call off the next week meeting.
10) My primary objective is to ensure your shipment will arrive by October 31th.
11) I am sorry for the late arrival due to custom cleaning.
12) For my point of few it makes senses to process this assignment for 10 days long.
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asterix



Joined: 26 Jan 2003
Posts: 1654

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
1) My clients are flexible about the conditions/terms we requested.

Henry, I don't know if these are exercises or you are using them in business, but assuming they are business related, if we have requested terms you need to say whether the clients have agreed to them or not. In this case flexible is not the right word, the clients either accept the terms, or you modify them until they are acceptable. In addition you wrote, my clients and we requested. If you work for a company and the clients are your company's then you should say, Our clients and we requested. OR name the client.
So, I suggest that you write the following: Our clients(Or their name) have agreed to the terms we requested.

Quote:
2) In terms of the delivery time is not flexible, it always take seven-day to deliver products.

If you can guarantee delivery in seven days you should say, We guarantee delivery in seven days from the receipt of your order.

Quote:
3) I want you to know that we don't have any hostility towards your company despite last year's mix-up.

This is OK but it's a bit negative. It's probably better not to even mention it, especially if they are your customers and your company screwed up.

Quote:
4) Please don�t put any blame on her despite last misunderstanding.

Please don�t put any blame on her (name?) despite our last misunderstanding.
See the comment above. You've probably already apologised, so why dredge it up again?


Quote:
5) I'm planning to high-ball my expectations when I open the discussion.


I think you mean highlight unless you are asking for a pay increase.


Quote:
6) They were so indecisive we finally asked them to take a break and come back next week.
7) After a bit of log-rolling we came to an agreement that pleased both of us.

These are OK.

Quote:
Cool, I was expecting my boss to low-ball in the initial offer, but he proposed a fair salary increase.

OK.
Quote:
9) After three hours discussion, my clients and us have made a mutual decision to call off the next week meeting.


After three hours discussion, we and our clients have decided to call off next week's meeting.


Quote:
10) My primary objective is to ensure your shipment will arrive by October 31th.

0) My primary objective is to ensure your shipment arrives by October 31th.

Quote:
11) I am sorry for the late arrival due to custom cleaning.


I apologise for the late delivery. It was due to slow customs clearance.

Quote:
12) For my point of few it makes senses to process this assignment for 10 days long.


From my point of view it makes sense to process this assignment for 10 days.

I'm not quite clear what you intended with #12, Henry. Do you mean consignment, maybe? Also, do you mean you can process it in ten days?
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