Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[freshair313]

This is my composition for exercise. Please help me with the rationality and correctness of its expression and grammar. Your kind and hearty instruction will be appreciated very much.


Develop Economy or Protect the Environment

Many people have idea that the urgent task of our country is to develop economy, while others think that we should attach importance to protecting environment rather to development.

In the case of emphasizing economy developing, it is clear that, we can raise our salary and improve our living standard easily. Besides, with the economy improving rapidly, we are available to all kinds of fruits of development such as developed science and technology. However, it may cause the pollution and wasting if it is not under reasonable control. On the contrary, other people suggest that the first and foremost thing we should do present is to protect our environment, on which we have to depend. In addition, without resources needed, even the smartest person cannot protect a single production, and without proper environment. None of us have the opportunity to live in the world.

No doubt, none of the view is wrong. They are all the two the aspects of social development. Personally, neither of them should be neglected. And the best is that we should make our effort to develop economy, at the same we should take effective measures to protect our environment and resources. So our descendents may enjoy the sustainable development.

[ESL-ish]

[freshair313]

Sorry, ESL-ish, I made you confused. its my handwriting mistake. It should be:

In addition, without resources needed, even the smartest person cannot produce a single production, and without proper environment, none of us have the opportunity to live in the world.

[ESL-ish]

Thanks, that helped me understand you better.

Ok, the first thing I'd like you to think about with this essay is the content. You have a good basic structure, but you need to add some detail.

Currently the structure of your logic is this:

Problem: some people think development is most important but others think conservation is more important.

Development: improves our living conditions and brings us the benifits of technology.
Conservation: we need natural resources and we need a clean environment.

Conclusion: both are equally important

You can strengthen your essay by adding an example for the development side and a seperate example for the conservation side. I think you should choose examples that you are very familiar with.
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