Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[stevenukd]

Dear Teachers,

1. Once you realise she�s not going to mess your friend around again, you�ll be able to more easily accept her.
- What does � mess your friend around� mean here?

2. I found out that she�s sexually active with her 18 year old boyfriend.
- �she�s sexually active with����� means �she�s active in making love with��������, right?

Thanks a lot to Teachers,

Stevenukd

[asterix]

Mess around = affect in a negative way: annoy, betray, make unhappy, etc.,

Sexually active means that they are fornicating. (An old -fashioned, but apt, word for having sex with someone to whom you are not married).

[redset]

If you mess someone around you're basically wasting their time, inconveniencing them for no good reason, constantly changing your mind and so on. It's basically making things difficult for someone. In a relationship this meaning can also be extended to include cheating on someone ('he was messing around with other girls').

I disagree a little with asterix's definition of 'sexually active' - being sexually active basically means that you're currently having sexual relations with one or more people. There's no specific definition of what does and what doesn't count as 'sexual relations', but it's generally considered to be any pleasureable act involving the genitalia. Married couples can be sexually active - it just means they're actively having sex of some kind.

[asterix]

That is the trouble with euphemisms such as sexually active. What does it really mean? Does it mean masturbation? Does it mean necking under the bleachers? Does it mean sexual intercourse? Or does it mean all of the above?
Who knows?
You should use words that say exactly what you mean.
Incidentally, married couples do not fornicate - at least, not with each other.