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[ltp-008]

Most popular saying in Chinese bbs


Recently I read a post in Chinese bbs which was about most popular saying in chinese bbs , I thought that I should translate them into English, let friends and learners worldwide in eslcafe understand more about real China.

Officialdom in China:

The hardest place to find is " relational departments " : the hardest phrase to be understood when officials tell you is " we need to research and study them" ; the most mysterious organization is " communist party" ; most powerful official is called " first hand" ; the hardest thing to control is " one piece of mouth" ; you should be very humble when you say something in front of your superiors ; the most high-sounding phrase is " communist party needs you to do it" ; the easiest thing to accept is " how wonderful and correctest what you say" ; the most concerned information is " whether I can get promotion" ; the most stupid joy is " communist party has paid attention to you" ; the headest thing to deal is " your age" which means you have to leave your office when you reach to a certain of year old;the snakiest reason to make somebody trouble is " ordinary people say some bad things to you"

What is communist party?

Communist party is that when you encounter some hard things they say they can't help you;when you suffer unfair treatments from your superiors they say they should respect your superiours; when your legal rights are infringed they say you should respect the interest of the whole department; when you are framed they say that you should trust communist party.

Regulations in office:

Only God will know you if you work hard in office; you will be very comfortable if you don't do everything in office; your superiors will appreciate you if you work hard and don't require anything in return; you will be success if you are willing to flatter your superiors and bribe your superiors; you will be thrown stones at if you are respensible for your duties; you will get rewards if you are good at dodgery and framing somebody.

Who will different communist officials pay attention to?

human resource ministers pay attention to people who pay attention to him;supervisory secretaries pay attention to people who don't pay attention to him; propaganda secretaries positively pay attention to people who pay attention to him and negatively pay attentin to people who don't pay attention to him; party chiefs make human resource ministers pay attention to people who pay attention to him and make supervisory secretaries pay attention to people who don't pay attention to him.

What are communist officials doing in their daily lives?

They are usually very busy in KTV rooms to sing along with beatiful girls; they are very busy to eat dinners with businessmen in the evening; they make deal with other communist officials when they want to appoint or dismiss their underlings ; they secretly make deals when there are some public biddings; they only pick out some slogans to announce when they want to pay attention to some work; they are used to solve urgency in meetings ; there are always many perfect plans in their drawers; they only release notifications when they want to correct some wrongdoings; they only look around in their comfortable cars when they want to help the needy; they praise talented people only when they are dead; great achievements only exist in reports.

How are common communist officials growing up?

They are full of energy to jump into the society after their graduation, then they are very busy to manage to know how they will adapt to this society, after that they behave as slaves to get promotion,once they get a little power they begin to go dinners and drunk almost everyday, because their legal imcome is very low so they can't afford to buy what they want, at the same time they have to bribe their superiors in order to get promotion, what they had learned in college are not usefull anymore to them,they are only good at meetings , flattering their superiors , they can't help but draw conclusion that they are no longer young and waste their life-time in the communist party to survive.

Worries of communist officials at their middle age:

They are not higher rank offcials in communist party, they don't earn too much money, but they have high blood pressure;they don't get great achievement in their career,but they suffer many diseases such as lumbago; they don't dare to say too much of their opinions during meetings , but they suffer prostatitis;they are not good at cooking but they are good at playing Majiang; they don't dare to criticise their superiors , they know that once they criticise their superiors their jobs may be dismissed; they aslo don't dare to criticise their colleagues they know that once they criticise their colleagues they will have hard relationship with their colleagues; they are not willing to criticise their underlings either they know that once they criticise their underlings they will lost their supports; they are not will to criticise themselves they know it useless; they know that once they criticise their wives they will leave their homes; they also know that once they criticise their husbands they will have affair with other women,too much worries.

Some popular saying:

something which communist top leaders used are called cultural relics , however something which ordinary people used are called rubbish; when leaders are stubborn to keep on their opinions they name this kind of behaviors as " persistence of truth" , however when ordinary people try their best to get their reasonable rights they name them as violation of rules; when leaders shake hands with people they call it as caring , however when ordinary people shake hands with leaders they call it flattering; when leaders do some stupid things they call them as anecdote, however when ordinary people do some stupid things they call them foolish; when leaders have affair with other women they call these women lovers, however when ordinary people have affair with other women they call these women sluts.

Modern eight chaos in China:

Planting crops in plastic houses make season in disorder;nepotistical relation make regulations in disorder; communist officials'level makes ability of people in disorder;judges make laws in disorder; police make security in disorder; money make government in disorder;accidents make traffic in disorder;prostitutes make position in the family hierarchy in disorder.

The astonishing findings when you see the news in CCTV-China Central Television:

There are always very importnat meeting in communist party, there are always some great achievements when the meetings end, there are always some important speeches when communist leaders make speeches, resolutions can always be passed when communist party have a meeting, there are always heat applause when meeting go on,no people are not encoraged by leader's speeches, leaders always pay attention to everything,headway always is smooth and in the right directions, problems can always be solved by communist leaders, they always finish their work early,achievements are always great,when communist leaders meet with foreign leaders they are always friendly, the relationship between Japan and China should be friendly, the cooperation between US and China should be promoted , negotiation with some foreign countries are always solemn and just,communication with foreign leaders are always perfect.


The theory of the poor and the rich:

people owing individuals are the poor, people owing nation are the rich; people who see the alcohol degree when they are drinking are the poor, people who see the alcohol brands are the rich;people who work hard to write books are the poor,people who pirate books are the rich;
people eating chicken are the poor,people eating beasts are the rich;people who plant crops are the poor,people who buy and sell land are the rich; people whose wives sleep with other men are the poor , people who sleep with others wives are the rich.

The explanation of poor and rich:

when people are poor they raise pig, when people are rich they have dogs; when people are poor they plant crops when people are rich they plant grass; when people are poor they want to have a wife, when people are rich they want to have affair with other women.

A poem about current China:

many parties which communist officials go everyday in China, they are very busy and can't stop doing so, they pay too much attention to their superiors and colleagues in order to take advantage of them,they drink too much alcohol in order to achieve their ambitions, although China has more than 5000 years history communist officials only admire ancient emperors who owned many beatiful girls,in modern China communist officials pay close attention to money ,power and beatiful ladies.

Some popular saying:

Factories were turned into ballroom,bookshops were turned into restaurants , the numbers of umemployment people have reached to up ten of millions; when higher communist officials conduct investigations they look like that they go on a tour as tourists ,lower communist officials have to pay close attention to them in order to make higher communist officials comfortable, if they make them satisfaction then their work is successful ; there are many variables in officialdom so communist officials should take care of each other and use taxpayers ' money to achieve their private interests; the life longevity is not so long and the work is not easy one so communist officials have to adapt to this society and enjoy themselves by often going to the party and sauna.

New explanations of modern Chinese enterprises' position:

Because the enterprises always reduce the staff, so this phenomenon is called " general" ; because your superiors always have tough faces so they are called " boss" ; because some people alway want to spy you so they are called " supervisors" ; because some people don't play game by the rule so they are called " manager" ; some people secretly make their leaders satisfied so they are called " secretary" .

Four clearness and four unclearness:

Many communist officials don't know what they should focus on in their meetings but they know exactly which seats they should sit in the meetings; they don't clearly know people who gave them money and gifts but they clearly know people who don't give them money and gifts; they don't clearly know people who have done a great job but they clearly know people whom he should promote;they don't clearly know ladies whom he has slept with but they clearly know what they have done during the sleeps.

How do communist officials achieve their goals?

Top communist leaders fool their people and enjoy their own lives;communist officials easily become rich by bribery ; when communist offcials launch investigations they often end up with big dinners; what communist officials do is that they foster many harmful people ; if you have enough money you can get out of prison early by release on probation; many girls become lovers of communist officials.

How do communist officials spend their daily lives?

After they get up, they do some exercise; when they have some meetings in the morning, they sleep; when they have lunch they burp; when they have work to do in the afternoon, they gape; when they have some fun in the evening they have sex with other women; when they come back to home they have fights with their wives.

Ordinary people know what is going on in following situations:

When communist officials want to pay attention to something they just have some meetings, when they want to strengthen management they just want to get higher fees, when they want to pay close attention to something they just have some slogans , when they want to fulfill something they just have some speeches, when they want to investigate somethings they just go there and have some dinners, when they want to study something they just dispute over trifles, when they want to have some achievements they just boast themselves, when they have something to report to their superiors they just say some falsehood information to them, when they hike some products ' price they call them as connecting with global economy.

[wenzili]

Itp you have done nothing but constantly contaiminating this forum by denigrating my motherland! I hate you since I hate those Judas and quislings! If you are not qualified by Chinese betrayer, such as Chen Shui Bian and Lv Sui Lian, then, I would ignore you. Shut up your dirty mouth, OK!
_________________
Practice made every effort perfect

[ltp-008]

[brunette]

well, ltp-008, I'm afraid ur posts takes much more time than I can afford. Will u just tell me in short where are all ur posts leading? I am not sure if u're a racist since I just have time for a few lines. Thanks.

[ltp-008]

[brunette]

Phew!!!

U surely did a good job as a translater, one who seems to have a very strong political (or racial?) bias.

One more question: do u get paid for all these? Translating is no easy task, esp. translating sth. interesting like these

[ltp-008]