Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[stevenukd]

Dear Teachers,

- On a beautiful Sunday morning, the piglet runs to the mother pig and asks : where's happiness? the mother pig smiles and says : happiness lies in your lovely little tail. The piglet is very delighted and everyday looks at his tail, he dances and waves his tail. But one day he's very sad and runs to his mother and asks : mommy! why can't I never hold happiness? the mother pig fondles him and says : provided that you are confident enough to walk straight ahead, happiness itself will follow you.

- Is this story natural to tell? and are there any grammatical mistakes?

Thanks a lot to Teachers,

Stevenukd

[bud]

It's a wonderful story, Steven, and an excellent effort. Thanks for sharing it with us.

There are only two errors that I see.

"Everyday" should be two words. Only write it as one word when using it as an adjective.

"Why can't I never hold happiness?" is a double negative. So either change it to "Why can I never hold happiness?" or "Why can't I ever hold happiness?" The second way would be more normal for everyday speech, but the first way would probably be better for the story. It's more poetic sounding, in my opinion.


(Also, it wouldn't hurt to rework the punctuation and capitalization a little bit! )