Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[RedRose]

Have you even had trouble answering some questions from kids? some confusing questions such as "where am I from?", "mom, where did you first find me and get me?" "Dad, only can a man and a woman together give birth to a baby? why can a woman not make one baby herself?" etc.

What would you answer when your kids ask you those questions? Maybe that's a test by which you can tell whether or not you are a smart parent.

Over 3 years earlier, one day my daughter was watching TV while I was busy cleaning my room up. She came to me and asked:"mom, I just watched a guy and a girl kissing for a long while in TV, why did it take so long? and why did they kiss so long mouth to mouth?"

At that moment, I wished I had been intelligent enough to answer her questions, but I just felt incapable...still, I had to answer, so I came up with a ridiculous explanation:"because they wanted to make sure they both had their teeth washed, and when they did so, they both found something dirty in the other's mouth, so they had to check and check, feel and feel, so that they could tell each other how much leftover they've got in their mouths. and that was the way they cared about each other."

Listening to me, my daughter seemed to have taken a tumble, she smiled:"I got it! no wonder you ask me to wash my teeth everyday! mom, you are so smart, you know everything!"

Later I called my mom on phone, and told her this story, my mom said:"you were being silly! and you were misleading her! how did you make up such a stupid answer?"

"What was I supposed to be answering? tell her the truth? tell her that the couple were just getting each other into bed and they were gonna have sex?" said I.

"No, you didn't have to. you just should have told her: because they loved each other, and when adults love each other, they usually kiss for a long time." said my mom.

So far, I am still not sure whose answer would be better, mine? my mom's?

Guys, when kinds ask you such questions, what are you gonna say?

[hoshi]

My parents NEVER talked about sex with me
_________________
God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God gave us only one heart? Because He wants us to find the other one!

[Lorikeet]

I think your mother was wise, Red Rose. There is no reason to lie to kids. You can make a simple true answer without giving out extra details. "People in love kiss a long time" works for me.

[RedRose]

[Cristi]

My mum ALWAYS talks about sex...

Actually, she's a science teacher so she always manages it very scientificly, though I gotta be honest, it's much better to know the truth, but my mum sometimes doesn't want to stop talking about it and I get really bored, because even if I don't ask anything she just brings the theme up... I don't even have a boyfriend and she's always telling me this and that so I guess I'm overly warned...

Anyhow, I think Rose, you should NEVER lie to your kid, sex is a natural step of life, isn't it? And it is not wrong, though it must be taken with responsability and that's why you must tell your daughter the truth about it. You don't have to be sooooooooooooooooooooooo explicit as my mum, but you better answer her questions properly.

Have a nice day guys!

Cristina.
_________________
�PURA VIDA! Carpe Diem

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear."
Mark Twain.

[RedRose]

your mom is so funny, Critis what's her point to tell you all the details about sex even if you don't have a boyfriend? probably because of her occupation.

[Dixie]

[RedRose]

Speaking of being honest to kids, what about the Christimas lie? you tell your children:" Santa will come and send you nice gifts if you have been nice the past year."

What about that?

Shall we be honest to kids all the way?

[Lorikeet]

[RedRose]

Lori, you never told your kids that Santa would being coming and give them Christimas gifts if they're nice and good?

I know many western parents do so. and that's supposed to be a Christimas tradition. actually, all kids are excited about what kind of gifts Santa will send to them, and this lie brings a lot of beautiful memories to kids. Even when they are grown-ups, those memories still warm their hearts.

I don't see what's wrong with the Christimas lie.

[Lorikeet]

[Anuradha Chepur]

My son never asked me any such questions.
Only thing is, when he was eight, he came up to me one day and told
me everything in great detail, as to how kids are born.
He had read it all in an old health book he had picked up from the junk at home.

[Leon Young]

I remmember i asked the same question when i was a child

and my mom's answer was that she found me on the hill,a hill in my home

town,I was abandoned by someone not responsible.

and that time i was confused,was i really her child?haha

anyway,i think parents should tell the truth to their children properly when their children have questions about sexes
_________________
I want to ride my bicycle,I want to ride my bike

[garfield_jesse]

I have never talked to my parents about SEX. Coz my parents were still influenced by the traditional thinking of Asia people. If i have children, i will not avoid to the questions about sex.
_________________
I'm smart, that's why i'm single...haha(^_^)

[Leon Young]