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lucy_ever
Joined: 20 Aug 2006
Posts: 31
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 Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 7:30 pm Post subject: Is there anyhing wrong with this? |
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hi, i just want to know anything wrong it?
Today I taked part in long rope skipping game at sports meeting in my school. But I was fail, My leg was twisted by rope, I fall down and my face broken.
thank a lot |
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CP
Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 2875
Location: California
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 7:44 am Post subject: |
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I would rewrite it something like this (changes in boldface):
Today I took part in a long rope skipping / jump rope game at a sporting festival / a meet held at my school. But I had an accident / was injured. My leg was twisted by the rope, and I fell down and broke my nose / my cheek / my skull.
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