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hobo78
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
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Suzanne
Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Posts: 283
Location: Seattle, WA, USA
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 Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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Wow! This is a great article for your first effort!
I enjoyed reading about how to collect shells. It was easy to understand. I learned some new things, too.
My only suggestion is to make some of the sentences shorter. Sometimes you had several ideas in one sentence. It would be easier to read and understand if you had one thing per sentence. That is also the way that news reporters write.
Keep up the good work! |
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hobo78
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 5:07 am Post subject: |
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| Suzanne wrote: |
Wow! This is a great article for your first effort!
I enjoyed reading about how to collect shells. It was easy to understand. I learned some new things, too.
My only suggestion is to make some of the sentences shorter. Sometimes you had several ideas in one sentence. It would be easier to read and understand if you had one thing per sentence. That is also the way that news reporters write.
Keep up the good work! |
Suzanne,
Many thanks for your positive comment about my first article.
Okay, I'll try to use shorter sentences for my next article.
Gene.
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