|
Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Students and Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
ClarissaMach
Joined: 18 May 2006
Posts: 644
Location: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
|
 Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:33 am Post subject: Is this sentence ok? II |
 |
|
Is this text ok? I think the second sentece is way too long:
The ways we register and have access to music have changed a lot along history, and probably will undergo further and unexpected changes. From the earliest musical notation so far discovered, written in a cuneiform tablet circa 2000 b.C, to the introduction of low cost broadband connection to Internet, there is one thing, however, that has never changed: the importance music has in our daily lives.
_________________
Stormy Weather. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Lorikeet
Joined: 08 Oct 2005
Posts: 1877
Location: San Francisco
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 5:03 pm Post subject: Re: Is this sentence ok? II |
|
|
| ClarissaMach wrote: |
Is this text ok? I think the second sentece is way too long:
The ways we register and have access to music have changed a lot along history, and probably will undergo further and unexpected changes. From the earliest musical notation so far discovered, written in a cuneiform tablet circa 2000 b.C, to the introduction of low cost broadband connection to Internet, there is one thing, however, that has never changed: the importance music has in our daily lives. |
I think it's okay as it is, although I would say "connections to the Internet" instead of "connection to Internet." However, if you have mentioned elsewhere that the earliest musical notation was the cuneiform tablet from 2000 B.C., then I think the sentence would flow better as:
From the earliest musical notation so far discovered to the introduction of low cost broadband connections to the Internet, there is one thing that has never changed: the importance music has in our daily lives. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
redset
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 582
Location: England
|
| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 4:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I'd personally change along history to something like throughout history - along doesn't sit right with me. Also, what do you mean by register? In the sense of recording or transcribing music into some permanent form? As it's written it makes me think of people registering what they see or hear - how they perceive and understand things. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
