Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[bud]

It's very advanced, though...


"Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. And the winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts."

[Rob]

Brilliant. 5, 7 and 16 are hilarious, but I especially like

[wei]

Mr. Bub

I don't really know the meanings of above words you wrote. Why these words are very interesting?

Wei

[bud]

Hi Wei,

They are joke definitions of real words. They are all playing on the similarity of the sounds in the words with the sounds of different words.

For example:

3. Abdicate

Real definition - To willingly give up ones postion as king or queen of a country.

Fake definition - Abdominal muscles (in casual speech, Abs) are the muscles in your abdomen that hold your stomach in (keep it flat). The casual abs is mixed with the give up part of the real definition of the word to make the joke.

Hope that helps!