Site Search:
 
Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums Forum Index Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Students and Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Edit please.

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Learning English
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
BMO



Joined: 19 Feb 2004
Posts: 705

PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 6:15 pm    Post subject: Edit please. Reply with quote

Most of these have been edited before, but I am not positive. Thanks a lot.

1. �Who says money doesn�t grow on trees?� The investment club president told the would-be investors, �I guarantee to triple your investment in one month.�

2. Have you noticed Linda�s behavior lately? She seems so lethargic; do you think she is on drugs? After all, where there is smoke, there is fire.

3. As I have told you many times, it is a bad idea to grow marijuana in your own backyard. If you play with fire, you will get burned; you may end up in jail someday.

4. Like most shoplifters, Bill believed he wouldn�t be caught. Since the fish will soon be caught that nibbles at every bite, he was caught red-handed shoplifting a pack of cigarettes last Friday.

BMO
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
bud



Joined: 09 Mar 2003
Posts: 2111
Location: New Jersey, US

PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 1:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

1. Good

2. I wouldn't use a semi-colon after "lethargic." I think a new sentence is better.

3. It is grammatical. The only thing I don't like is that the saying states a certainty, while your conclusion states a possibility. So I'd probably change it to: "... you will end up..."

4. It is probably grammatical, but the second sentence doesn't work well. To my ear, it seems like it needs a "but..." The main thing I don't like, though, is that the saying involves frequency, but you have said nothing in the first sentence about the frequency of Bill's shoplifting. So the saying doesn't seem exactly appropriate. So maybe something like:

Bill stole whenever he walked into a store, and like most shoplifters, he believed he wouldn't be caught. But since..."

Hope that helps.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
BMO



Joined: 19 Feb 2004
Posts: 705

PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 2:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great, I see your point. Thanks a lot, it is definitely better.

BMO
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Learning English All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Dave's ESL Cafe is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Banner Advertising | Bookstore / Alta Books | FAQs | Articles | Interview with Dave
Copyright © 2018 Dave's ESL Cafe | All Rights Reserved | Contact Dave's ESL Cafe | Site Map

Teachers College, Columbia University: Train to Teach English Here or Abroad
SIT
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group