Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[Safarigal]

The idea just pop up to my mind. Since we are in the era of technology, the pc has become an important tool to be connected with the worldwide. With those games, chatrooms, people get online to have fun & chat. But also, people surf the internet to find someone to fall in love with. Why can't we find she or he in real life that we have to risk the chance to find here? Do you have any experience of falling in love with someone from the internet? I would like to hear people's opinion. Thanks!~
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[liebe]

Hi Safarigal,

Finding love has become more and more difficult nowadays. People are often too busy to find someone. If in the previous centuries people usually found their husband/wife by attending balls (or other social events), or through their parents, then today it isn't so anymore. People hardly have any time to socialize, and are expected to find love on their own. Internet is a very easy option for many, because it is fast and contains a large variety of people.

As to your second question, it happened to me once. I was on a dating site and emailed one of the guys there, we've exchanged emails, and I felt I was in love with him. However, he stopped writing me after a few months (got bored with me, appearantly), and I was "heart-broken". Looking at it today, I think I never really loved him, because I didn't know him in person. He told me only certain facts about him, showed me only one side of him, and I (with my silly romantic imagination) completed the rest of his personality as I wanted. I thought I loved him, when in reality I was just in love with the image of the ideal man that was in my head.

[sinister]

I have never used the Internet to find love, but I would use this amazing tool if that was my intent.
For women, I think this form is safer for meeting men and then you can "tell" what a person's like by how they write. It's much easier to fool a person with beautiful words and big talk. However, writing forces both parties to express themselves in a more geniune fashion as opposed to smooth talkers.

And with databases to help you sort through what you don't want, I think a person has a much better chance at meeting someone than in the past.
For me, I don't need it because I'm very outgoing and I meet women as easily as Pamela Anderson gets laid.
_________________
"The REVOLUTION will NOT be TELEVISED"
I was born on the tropical island of Barbados but grew up in Canada.

[blackguy-n-Asia]

Sinister, don't you know that if you have to brag about it, you're not getting any! Silly rabbit

I've met 2 girls from the internet in 2002. The website is called AsianAvenue.com People put up pics (maybe of themselves!?!) and you can leave messages or chat online.

The girls i've met were just friends. On separate occasions, we just ate dinner/lunch at resaurants, or watched movies.....nothing racey or anything.....but something could have grown if we both wanted it. I have a friend who seems to date exclusively on the net. He is on his third girlfriend!!! and his girlfriends are nice girls, not the Ricki Lake horror stories that we hear about. Sometimes you get lucky.
_________________
I'm an African-Canadian living in the West
Soon to Travel to Asia and Russia.

[sinister]

[alex_007]

The point is to find the perfect match of you, not in which way you find it !


-----Alex
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Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

[miina]

I think the way of finding your lover or friend But this way is dangerous for ordinally people So you should make your chance more useful as possible as your own mind

[Emsalsizim]

As for the internet-love experience i want to say that once i've fallen in love with some boy. It was so funny! But when we met in reality (and it was abroad) it turned out that he was so nervous and stupid! and i don't believe in love through internet now

[stellara]

I think alex is right. it's not about how you found your love but about *that* you find her/him.

I have to say, i didn't have any experiences with finding/searching boyfriends through the internet. but I got a boy to know over cell phone - means sms - and internet (but private mailing). as far as i can see he's really really cute and I like him very much. of course I'm awake of the fact that a person can easily dissimulate through the internet or also sms, but we know each other over one year now and often phone so i might say that we know each other very well.

I think that you can find your love through the internet but you have to be fully conscious of the fact that you don't really know each other - not like in reality.
but I believe, on the long run no one (or nearly no one) could hide sth or dissimilate when you're changing emails. because you can get to know someone just by reading his or her thoughts, opinions and letters.

greets, Sarah
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Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[stellara]

ouuhh.. difficult situation..

ahm, did you say her that you love her? and did she say that too?

okay, at first *don't* break up contact after receiving her email with the photos!!!! that would only say "hey girl I liked your personality and voice etc but you look so horrible that i don't want to have any contact" - that's really really smashing for a girl's confidence! even if it's true. and I don't think that you're such an --- that you look only to a girl's appearence because then you wouldn't have talked to her for so long.
i say that so urgently because i know very well that you men love to run away from problems..

of course appearence is (for my opinion almost) as important as personality. so I'd say maybe you can just cool down your "relatonship" so that she's not offended but can conclude that there's no future with you two?!
that's not really gentleman-like i know but it's not heart-breaking although your freind is so naie that she thinks she found her true real love through the internet without even having met.
what do you think?

greets, Sarah
_________________
Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[akane2006]

My opinion is that Internet love is very dangerous.
We can talk to unkown peopele very easily in an instant.
So,In the Internet,It's impossible to judge whether the man I talk with is
really good.
Actally what happened recently that girls ware killed
by their Internet friend or lover.
I think there are so many kinds of love and it is
parsonal mattar.
But When you fall in Internet love,you should think deeply.

[stellara]

you're right, it's of course dangerous to meet an internet friend because you never know exactly what's in their mind. but i think if you are careful and aware of this danger you can make friends and maybe even love throguh the internet, though.

greets

ps: i'm not talking of teenagers but of older, adult persons. teens could hardly identify or even realize the danger behind strange people. and kids are often really careless and naive in making friends, especially with strangers (who could be much older and have sth strange on mind) and though the internet.
_________________
Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened!

MOKEY ROCKS!!!

[Bob S.]

Been there, done that with both success and failure.
Words to the wise:

Rules for Internet Dating!
1. Never fall in love with a photo. (There are a dozen reasons for that.)
2. Never say "I love you" to a person you have not met outside of the internet.
3. Never send money to a person you have not met.
4. You don't have to tell your whole sordid life story at first.
5. Don't lie either. It's a fact of life: Truth will out! If you get serious later, your lies will come back to haunt you.
6. Be patient. Not everyone has time to reply instantly. Most of us have real lives outside of this electronic box.
7. Don't use your permanent e-mail address. Get a Yahoo or Hotmail account for this. If you get a freak stalker who won't take "Go away!" for an answer, you can cancel the e-mail account to protect yourself.
8. Beware of people who come on too strong too soon.
9. And for Gawd's sake, don't give out your actual mailing address to anyone you aren't willing to meet in person. And even then, better to use a post office box for protection.
10. Be honest with yourself and the other person as to where you stand. Are you just flirting for fun, or do you seek a possible serious relationship?

Anybody want to add anything?

[asterix]

If you do decide to meet, in person, someone you have met on the internet, make sure somebody knows where you are going, whom you are meeting and when you expect to be back. Better still, take a friend with you.

[asterix]

The good things that happen on the internet don't need any defences. The bad things that can happen are worth guarding against.