Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[BMO]

Any mistakes below:


Impact of Computer Games on People

1. Computer games may be a good entertainment for bored people, but it may alter our thoughts and behavior. The on-line computer game by definition is an unreal world that lets us lose ourselves in it and dedicate ourselves to illusions.

2. Playing computer games is a serious matter for our people and our future. According to a survey conducted by the APA in June 2004, about 80% of the respondents (aged 9-40) stated that they had played computer games. We can extrapolate that there are approximately 17.6 million �computer-group� on this island. This is a terrifying number. The effects of on-line computer games are as follows:

3. Firstly, teenagers and younger who are into computer games seem to close their mind to their family. They won't talk to them because they are addicted to computer games. This behavior will certainly contribute to the generation gap.


Thanks a lot.

bmo

[asterix]

The Impact of Computer Games on People.

1. Computer games may be good entertainment for bored people, but they may alter our thoughts and behavior. The on-line computer game by definition is an unreal world that lets us lose ourselves in it and dedicate ourselves to illusions.

2. Playing computer games is a serious matter for our people and our future. According to a survey conducted by the APA (You should spell out in full what it stands for) in June 2004, about 80% of the respondents (aged 9-40) stated that they had played computer games. We can extrapolate that there are approximately 17.6 million �computer-group� (I think this should be computer groups on this island.
Which Island?
This is a terrifying number. The effects of on-line computer games are as follows:

3. Firstly, teenagers and younger people who play computer games seem to close their minds to their family. They won't talk to them because they are addicted to computer games. This behavior will certainly contribute to the generation gap.

If you say "firstly" (as above) the reader will expect you to follow it with "secondly" and a second example.

[BMO]

Thanks a lot. Secondly, thirdly will come later. One question, is it first or firstly, and is younger children better than younger people?

bmo