Teacher Discussion Forums

Hi,
I've been teaching for about three years in a small adult ed program with little direct guidance. Recently, my boss told me that I have "boundary issues" with my students. She wasn't alleging anything serious but just said that I'm friendlier with ESL students than with native speakers who I also teach. Because my boss couldn't give me a good definition of where the boundaries lie, I wonder if anyone can share their thoughts or point me toward some written guidelines on this subject. Some boundary problems are easy to see -- don't date your students, don't hire them to clean your house, etc. -- but others are harder. Is it wrong to invite students from different classes to meet each other at a potluck dinner at your house? To get a manicure at the shop where one of your students works? To go out for coffee with former students who are trying to coach you in their language? I'd appreciate any thoughts. Thanks.

I think your boss needs to come up with a concrete definition for you. The things you've described such as the potluck dinner are, in my opinion, perfectly fine. Perhaps it's your boss who has a problem?

Yes, I think she's got issues but I still have to deal with her. We've since had more discussions and it seems that the concern is the difference between how I relate to ESL students vs. the native speakers who are in other classes in our program (I teach them, too). I wouldn't give the GED and diploma students my home number so I shouldn't give it to the ESL students either. I guess that makes sense except that nothing is quite the same with ESL students. I said that I think if anything these students are more respectful and less likely to treat me as a friend; they don't even want to use my first name. But it's the access and involvement in their lives that bothers the boss. I'm trying to figure it out and gather there are no clear guidelines, other than the obvious. Where would you draw the line? If there's a Chinese holiday celebration in a nearby town on the weekend, would it be wrong to invite a couple of Chinese speakers to go with me? I think ideally they'd go together without me but these are non-drivers. My instinct tells me it's fine but I don't know if I can trust my instinct anymore.

Just because your boss has issues with something you instinctively feel is the best course of action, doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything wrong with your instincts. Continuing to talk to your boss about this seems like a good thing to me. If it turns out that you have to pull back some from the students in order to comply with your boss's preferences, this does not necessarily mean that such behavior is in the best interests of your students. I aplaud your efforts to seriously question your behavior and make an effort to improve it in response to criticism . . . I think all teachers should give serious consideration to criticism in an effort to improve. BUT . . . we can't completely lose sight of the fact that it is always possible that the issues a particular critic has with us as a teacher, could just be issues that the critic has PERIOD!

Thanks. I don't really doubt myself as much as I might appear to, but I also don't want to just set my feet in concrete because I want to keep my job, and learn as I go. I think one problem is that I live in a fairly non-diverse state and really enjoy the contact with people of different cultures and countries. It would be easy for me to gravitate toward students as friends as well as students, and that's the line I don't want to cross -- at least until they're former students. Have you ever become friends with a former student, and do you think there's anything wrong with that?

No. I haven't really kept up with any of my former students, but I have only taught ESL for the past 2 summers and do not usually have the same students for any extended period of time because the students and teachers are continually being shifted to different classes. I notice that your students are adults (as most of mine were). I think it's different with adults in that, in many ways, we think of them as peers and teachers as well as students. I am actually a college student myself now and can think of a couple of teachers I wouldn't mind being friends with once I graduate. I think it would be a really fun, satisfying, and educational experience, to be able to communicate with former students from around the world as friends.

I am fairly new to the whole teaching thing, though, so maybe there is some ethical consideration of which I am not aware.

I don't think any of the activities crossed boundaries, because I think you were being helpful and these were all adult students. However I can't help wondering if a part of the issue that you are giving out your phone number to a select set of students and not all of them? Perhaps the native speaker students are a little jealous with the special attention you are giving the ESL students. This is the problem I have and it can be as simple as one student gets slightly more attention than another etc...

James
http://www.jamesabela.co.uk/

Yes, I think that is a lot of my boss's objection, but I think it's based on theory rather than reality. My ESL and native-speaking students are in different classes and most likely wouldn't be aware of how I treat the other group. But I have seen a little hint of the problem inside my ESL classes. Before I started teaching adult education I was a volunteer literacy tutor for a woman who is now in one of my classes. I think people might have sensed the relationship was different, and that's something I have to be careful about. Things have calmed down with my boss (for the moment, anyway) but it bugs me that I have to worry about offering opportunities to students, like attending fairs or going out to play in the snow, because I might be crossing some invisible line.