check a script

[joon]

Next is a script of my sister for her English speaking in her school.
She wrote and I checked.
I want to check it from you(native speakers or someone who has comment on this ), If you don't bothered.
I don't like to argue with you about her or my way of thinking.
I just like to check them whether they are written in acceptable English.

I will appreciate your pointing out of any languagial error, your new sentences, or any suggestions.



Ali, an Iraqi boy

Hello.
I am Oh Joo Hee from class 12 of the
second year. I have prepared the story of
Ali. Does anyone know who is Ali I am
talking about? Let me introduce him, Ali an
Iraqi boy. He is a 12 year old boy.
Several days ago, Something terrible
happened to him. In the middle of a night,
a missle stroke Ali's home while he was sleeping deeply in Baghdad, Iraq.
He lost 10 of his family members including his five months' pregnant mother
at a night by one shot of missle hitting his home. He is the
only person whose life was saved from the missile attack. However, He was also
badly wounded. The fire of the explosion has seriously burnt his body and taken
his arms off. He lost both of his arms.

Now the war in Iraq is almost being ended.
A consequence of the war is Ali who has no arms, no father, no mother, and no brother.
Ali wanted to become an army officer when he grow up, but not any more. Now he wants
to become a doctor, but how can he... become a doctor? He doesn't have hands!

The miserable story of Ali have not only touched
my mind, but also attracted worldwide attention.
He became a symbol of Iraqi suffering caused by the U.S. air-strike.
Much money is collected for him. I've heard he is in a big hospital
of Kuwaiti city now for medical treatment. I wish he be cured and get new artificial arms.

We know Ali's story is just a case of the war.
What about other children who were orphaned, handicapped,
and lost their dreams.

Whether Bush or Hussein is in the right,
Most of sufferers of the war are innocent ordinary Iraqi people, especially weak women and
poor children.

Why do they have to die or lost their loving family?
Was the war innevitable?
Did the war carry justice?

These qustions are given to me by the war.

Ali's story is very sad-side regarding the war in Iraq. This might be the first time
I've ever watched a real live war on TV. I don't still understand the reason
why this war broke out. Although I am being confused with the propagandas of both
sides. I do know one thing clearly, looking at the photo of Ali, war itself is very bad.
As you see, I have attached the photo of Ali on the top-right corner of my paper.
It seems the picture tells everything about the war. His eyes are saying how the war
changed his life. His burnt body are telling how cruel and painful the war is. His shoulder
without arms are talking all about the war that is stealling his future.
I don't feel that I have to explain more about this picture.
This picture tells more than thousands of my words.
I like to end my speech with the quotes of Ali .


He said:
"Can you help me get my arms back?
Do you think the doctors can get me another pair of hands?
If I don't get a pair of hands I will commit suicide."
weeping with tears spilling down his cheeks.

Thank you.