Translator's pains

Vytenis · Post by **Vytenis** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 7:00 pm

I just want to check does the following sentence sound natural to a native ear: "This article tells about the foundation, the first five years of existence and the major accomplishmenst of the Social Sciences Faculty". If not, can you correct it? They gave me to translate the summary of their article from Lithuanian into English, but my problem is that whenever I try to translate precicely, the translation looks so clumsy. I believe that it is thinking in English that is needed to make a nice English translation. But I cannot get rid of this Lithuanian matrix and to start thinking in English whenever I am told to...

Harzer · Post by **Harzer** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 7:15 am

I agree that this sentence comes across as a bit clumsy but really there is no repair needed. Maybe the only suggestion I could make would be to repeat the word "of' a few times: .... the foundation of, the first five years of existence of, and the major accomplishments of the SSF.

I am a translator too, for German - English - German, and agree that you must (i) absorb the message of the first language as an abstract, pre-linguistic form (ii) re-cast it into linguistic form in the second language, without reference to the original verbatim text, if that makes any sense to you.

Harzer

szwagier · Post by **szwagier** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 8:13 am

How much can you play around with word order and the like?

What about:

This article talks about the foundation of the Social Sciences Faculty, and of its major accomplishments during its five-year existence.

PS I also translate (Pol -> Eng), and have the biggest problems with Polish adverbials and adjectivals - trying to shoehorn a three-word, fifteen-syllable adjective into an English noun phrase and still make it sound natural leads to burst blood vessels in the brain and an uncharitable outlook on life

Vytenis · Post by **Vytenis** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 5:42 pm

Thanks a lot for your suggestions, folks. Anyway, now its too late. They just asked me to translate that sentence on the spot and I was caught out of the blue. I found it difficult to translate such a simple sentence! Not to translate, but to make it sound English... This made me think and maybe that's why I have opened this thread. I think Harzer's answer has provided a valuable insight... Whenever I try to translate and at the same time cling to the patterns of the native langugae, what comes out is the whole load of BS. I have to get rid of this pattern for a moment and start thinking in English. I think this topic might be related to the other thread I have started: "How to get rid of "Lithuanian English?" There I tried to sort out the question how can I start using natural English speech, rather than Lithuanian language with English words. I think these two topics are closely connected. I have to do some translation into English at times, so this is importent for me.

Stephen Jones · Post by **Stephen Jones** » Sat Dec 06, 2003 6:15 pm

'tells about' sounds strange.

'talks about' or 'describes'

Vytenis · Post by **Vytenis** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 10:21 am

You got it! I guess I have become a victim of "Lithuanian English" syndrome again

. My inner feeling whether the target laguage version sounds right or wrong is not well developed yet. I think it is essential to develop this feeling when you are translationg from your native into a foreign language. Otherwise your translation may look weird. If you don't believe me, here are some good specimens of such native-language-influenced translation:

Public sign in Moscow (opposite Russian Orthodox monastery):
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Hotel Lobby in Romania:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Restaurant menu, Germany:

OUR FOOD LEAVES YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

costas · Post by **costas** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 9:15 am

Hi Vytenis

Vytenis wrote:You got it! I guess I have become a victim of "Lithuanian English" syndrome again

I think it happens almost everywhere

You can also check this problem out in this website:

www.engrish.com

See you

dduck · Post by **dduck** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 10:21 am

Thanks for the link, Costas. The site is hiralous!

Iain

Vytenis · Post by **Vytenis** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 11:33 am

Thanks for "Japanese English" website. I think I would post some similarly weird Lithuanian-English translations some day. Gets even worse that that!

Roger · Post by **Roger** » Mon Dec 15, 2003 2:08 pm

I am a bit late to butt in, but like Stephen I too felt the verb "tells" a wee bit odd. As a matter of fact, it's not wrong - but it's lacking an object: "...tells us..."
Whether that squares with the Lithuanian original is another matter, of course, that only Vytetis can decide.

Vytenis · Post by **Vytenis** » Mon Dec 15, 2003 2:31 pm

In fact, it had absolutely nothing to do with the Lithuanian original. I tried to recast the whole idea in my own words in English. In fact, on of the girls in our office had tried to translate it herself before she resorted to me for help. Her translation sounded something like this: "In this article it is discussed the foundation of the social sciences faculty of Siauliai Universit, the first five years of activities of this faculty etc. etc...... " something like that. Weird! No better than the specimens of Japanese Enhlish in www.engrish.com

costas · Post by **costas** » Mon Dec 15, 2003 3:46 pm

I have indeed taken up Engrish because perhaps it might be the new international language

See you

dduck · Post by **dduck** » Mon Dec 15, 2003 5:26 pm

Vytenis wrote:Her translation sounded something like this: "In this article it is discussed the foundation of the social sciences faculty of Siauliai Universit, the first five years of activities of this faculty etc. etc...... " something like that. Weird!

It doesn't look to bad to me. It a bit weird, mind you, introducing a subject then a dummy subject for the passive immediately afterwards, when you could just use the active voice.

"The article discusses the foundation of the social sciences faculty at Siauliai University. The faculty's first five years..."

Not many changes required, not bad I'd say.

Iain

Lorikeet · Post by **Lorikeet** » Mon Dec 15, 2003 5:54 pm

Heh we are on a roll today, Iain. I think there is a big difference between the way it was initially translated and the one that Vytenis did. The former is unacceptable and hard to follow. His was quite good I thought. Ah well

Roger · Post by **Roger** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 2:04 am

To come back to Vytenis' pet topic: I believe only someone who has had a rigorous grammar-based instruction and training in English can become aware of the oddness of their efforts qat translating from their first language into the target language.
Most, if not all who have been brought up to dismiss accuracy as an impediment to becoming fluent wouldn't care one iota!