Speaking to a child in 2 languages

[charmedboi82]

I've been seriously considering trying to raise a bilingual child (when I have kids or adopt... I'm male). Obviously it will be easier to do this from birth, but so far this is my plan:

I will be the other language speaker in the family. Since I live in The United States, I'll speak another language (Spanish for the moment) to the child/children while my partner speaks English to him/her/them. Obviously he'll ask me questions in English, and I intend to answer in English or Spanish depending on the circumstance (if it was a question meant for me only I'll answer in English, but if it's something of interest to the children I'll speak in Spanish.... or in English and later explain to them in Spanish what he meant... just for repetition). They'll get plenty of practice speaking English, so I'm not worried about that. My question, since I'm not a native speaker of Spanish (even though it's not lacking except for maybe some vocabulary and very small grammar points.... which will improve by the time the children are created), what kind of other resources should I employ to have success in getting them functional in another language? bilingual school program/daycare, bilingual playmates, TV shows, music? What else do you think it'll take for me to make this work since obviously they won't learn all they need to know from one person alone (especially how to talk to adults that aren't within the family)? Any comments will be greatly appreciated.

I don't want them to think I'm the only one that speaks this crazy language... so obviously I'll have to speak English when appropriate in public (like with teachers, servers, bank tellers, etc.). Any ideas?

Kevin

[fluffyhamster]

I really recommend that you can get hold of a copy of something like Raising a Child to be Bilingual and Bicultural by Steven Verrier (Hiragana Times) - it should be at the top of this webpage:
http://www.hiraganatimes.com/hp/magazin ... oks-E.html

I haven't quite finished reading it (it's actually in storage on the other side of Tokyo!), but Verrier seems to have been very successful in his goal of raising his kids to be, well, as his title suggests!

This all wasn't achieved without its sacrifices, however: he decided that he would ONLY speak English when in earshot of the kids, and his Japanese wife would ONLY speak Japanese (even though both parents could speak each other's language to some degree, and Verrier himself sometimes wished he could've continued learning more Japanese and speaking it openly too!).

In addition, they strove to maintain contact with whichever culture was not predominant in the country they were living in at whatever time. For example, whilst living in the US or Canada they made sure they always had some Japanese videos, TV and books around the home and sought out social clubs that the kids could go to in addition to their regular schooling and everyday interaction in the English-medium schools and society*. The Japanese wife would also be making sure that the kids were keeping up with the Japanese educational system's yearly/school grade goals for kanji (Chinese character) study and getting enough reading and writing practice (doubtless including folktales and stories to reinforce the cultural aspects).

All this might seem a bit extreme, but Verrier is probably right when he maintains that with parents who don't adopt a clear policy (which is most parents!), equal success in both languages is unlikely. It stands to reason that when one or both parents get lazy about their equal responsiblities, the only winner ultimately is going to be the language and culture in which the kid is immersed and growing up in the longest and/or latest (critical period and all that).

What seems to generally happen (especially with Japanese parents) is that the family follows dad to the U.S, the parents worry no end that the kid isn't learning enough English, they concentrate exclusively on that, only for a few years later to whisk back to Japan and, lo and behold, find the kid is lagging behind in Japanese...and so the pendulum swings back and forth, having who knows what effect on the kid's psychological makeup (not to say the ease with which they can make new friends all over again).

I'm not quite sure what to say about your plans, charmed, because you aren't a native speaker (by that, I mean you probably don't know all the cultural allusions that a kid might need and come to expect, even if you are pretty fluent) - I mean, you didn't grow up in Mexico or Spain, right? So that would make the bicultural bit a lot harder...anyway, the good news is that Spanish culture must be more available where you are than e.g. Japanese! I am just a little concerned that whatever plans you make, they will slowly come undone as you succumb more and more to the temptation to speak English! I'm kind of joking here, but if you're that serious about it, why not marry a senorita and make sure you spend at least half the time in a Spanish-speaking country?

* I can't remember what he said about international schools, like where you'd be taught in English whilst in Japan, and vice-versa, but I seem to recall he or his kids didn't like them and were critical of some aspect or aspects of that approach, and didn't go for it.

[fluffyhamster]

P.S. I don't know if, once his kids are old enough and competent enough in both languages+cultures (e.g. at 18?), if Verrier will suddenly start speaking Japanese again! I guess so...

[Oak Tree Cottage]

Wouldn't it be odd to speak to your own child in a language that is not your own native tongue? I could imagine it more if you lived abroad and your partner originated from wherever you were, but to live in your own country and do that sounds unrealistic, maybe even unwise, to me.

Also, you would be teaching the child a non-native version of the language at a time when he/she needs to acquire a real mother tongue. How about sending him/her to a school where that foreign language is used as the main language?

I'm no specialist; I'm only a first year student teacher, but I do live in a bi-lingual French/German speaking province of Belgium and believe that each person should speak their own language with their children if at all possible (and as long as there are no particular reasons why they shouldn't).

I'm writing this, by the way, because it's a TEFL/ICT assignment from my course to reply to a message. I chose yours because it's an interesting subject & I've never heard of anyone doing what you plan to do!
Best wishes, Oak Tree Cottage

[fluffyhamster]

I have to ultimately agree with OTC. If neither partner is a native speaker of e.g. Spanish, it does seem a little odd for either or both of them to speak it at all, even if their Spanish is of a high enough level to be reasonably accurate with the input.

The only context in which speaking a second language to kids makes any sense is when parents of differing nationalities have not adopted a clear policy, and the "immigrant" parent is switching into the host country's language whenever they want (and perhaps not giving the child enough of the other - the parent's native - language, for that other language to win out and become equal to the host language).

As OTC says, 'each person should speak their own language with their children', that is basically what all the advice is boiling down to. Seems like you really should marry a Spaniard and let him/her worry about talking in Spanish, charmed!

[christinejernigan]

Kevin,
I have been researching the topic of teaching your child your second language for nearly 3 years now. I think it is wonderful what you are doing! I recognized many of your challenges because I am raising my children to speak my second language. I find it interesting that you seem to “default” to English as the “not odd” language. In fact, Spanish in this country is everywhere. I would encourage you to speak it as much as possible (in fast, I would say, exclusively, but of course that is up to you). That way your child gets that consistency. English is EVERYWHERE. They’ll get English.

You mentioned being a non-native speaker of Spanish. I’m curious in what ways you may feel this is a challenge to your teaching your child.

Thanks and please let me know how I can help.

Christine

[possibilities]

I just wanted to let you know that there are a many other people doing the same thing you want to do, and that it's not as crazy as it sounds. I have been researching various bilingual things over the past few days, and discovered this site:
http://esl.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite ... ~bilingua/

It is a support site for people doing exactly what you are hoping to do. I suggest you click on examples a read what a few other people are doing. The posts are old, but the information is still good.

Also, you can continue speaking English (or whatever your native language is). You don't have to give it up around other people or with your spouse.

Good luck with your endeavers. I plan on trying something similar with my kids, and I hope you find a good experience teaching your children another language.

[spongeleaners]

www.spongelearners.com will provide you with ideas and materials to accomplish the goal you have in mind.

good luck