I have sent a mail to a department and got a comment that i was impolite in the letter. The receipient of the letter is a person dealing with foreigners in a Chinese government office called Foreigne Affairs Office (FAO)
My letter :
Date
Dear Mr XX
With reference to our telephone conversation this morning.
Below is my address:
XXXXXX
XXXXX
XXXXX
Email : XXXX
Regards
signature
Is this mail sounding impolite ?
Moderators: Dimitris, maneki neko2, Lorikeet, Enrico Palazzo, superpeach, cecil2, Mr. Kalgukshi2
Sounded okay to me. It's a little curt, but not impolite, as far as I'm concerned. I suppose it doesn't have all the extra "niceties" they may have been expecting. If it had been me, I might have added just a little more, like a "Thank you for your assistance." or "Please contact me if you need more information."
You might also want to thank the bureaucrat for the earlier telephone chat.
As an added note:
It is much better to use "the following" or "here" than to start a sentence with "below".
Sentences starting "Below is ..." are frowned upon in certain technical writing circles ... I know this has nothing to do with politeness, but I thought I'd mention it because it can be interpreted as a sign of ineffective or nonstandard (or even curt!) writing.
Other alternatives:
My address is as follows…
My address is the following…
Please use the following address for any mail that is sent to me.
It’s always nice to include the words please and thank you when writing a follow-up letter after a phone conversation.
As an added note:
It is much better to use "the following" or "here" than to start a sentence with "below".
Sentences starting "Below is ..." are frowned upon in certain technical writing circles ... I know this has nothing to do with politeness, but I thought I'd mention it because it can be interpreted as a sign of ineffective or nonstandard (or even curt!) writing.
Other alternatives:
My address is as follows…
My address is the following…
Please use the following address for any mail that is sent to me.
It’s always nice to include the words please and thank you when writing a follow-up letter after a phone conversation.
The person who complained that the letter is impolite is probably too sensitive and delicate for this world and should seriously consider self-immolation.
However, I know from experience that many Government departments are full of such unfortunates; so it is worth inserting some niceties to avoid causing the little darlings any distress.
However, I know from experience that many Government departments are full of such unfortunates; so it is worth inserting some niceties to avoid causing the little darlings any distress.