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Koreans Out Of Their Usual Element Ignoring You
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12ax7



Joined: 07 Nov 2009

PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:
Basically this is one manifestation of the people who get butt-hurt that not everyone here loves them and treats them as special, but everyone here should. Heck, they probably feel the same back home. Me me me me me me me.

Of course if people actually did stop and say hi to them all the time, they'd turn around and gripe about it.

"I can't go out in public without people I know wanting to always talk to me. Back home people could tell you were busy and just let you alone. Not here."


Back home, they don't leave you alone. Trust me. Everybody knew my dad and he knew everybody. I can't tell you how annoying and embarrassing it was being introduced to half a dozen people every time we went out while I was growing up.


Last edited by 12ax7 on Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
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NYC_Gal 2.0



Joined: 10 Dec 2010

PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a loyal customer to the local shops, so I get the "hello" nod and smile from most shopkeepers when I'm out and about.
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hiamnotcool



Joined: 06 Feb 2012

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:
Basically this is one manifestation of the people who get butt-hurt that not everyone here loves them and treats them as special, but everyone here should. Heck, they probably feel the same back home. Me me me me me me me.

Of course if people actually did stop and say hi to them all the time, they'd turn around and gripe about it.

"I can't go out in public without people I know wanting to always talk to me. Back home people could tell you were busy and just let you alone. Not here."


The OP was trying to get clarification before passing judgement. That was how I read his question. I don't read about this type of thing (or a lot of other things similar to this) happening in other countries where people teach. The exception might be Japan or Saudi Arabia - maybe. I wonder why that is. I wonder why the threads about foreigners in Korea feeling cast aside and "butthurt" never end. It's interesting. It must be the foreigners though. Must be us. It's almost like defending Korea's image as a welcoming country is a never ending battle....I wonder why that is too.

OP - They might not recgonize you, I know it sounds weird but if they don't have a lot of experience with foreigners then we may all look the same to them. I would just wave and say hello, if they still ignore you don't bother socializing or smiling at them in the workplace. That's what I do at least. I don't have time for snotty people in my country or abroad. I've found sometimes they are a little startled but happy to see me, other times they try their best to avoid me.
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Moondoggy



Joined: 07 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:13 am    Post subject: Re: Koreans Out Of Their Usual Element Ignoring You Reply with quote

metalhead wrote:
I'm curious why some Koreans that you know, that you see on a daily basis, be it in the classroom, the 'bakery', the store -whatevs - totally ignore you when they see you passing by them on the street. Then, for example, the next day, treat you as usual (like, saying hello to you) when they see you back in their little shop.

Is it a culture thing? I swear I've made full-blown eye contact with them and they just look away (cue for someone to mention that I *obviously* was not wearing a suit and tie, how droll).

Is it a Confucius thing? The Taiwanese and Chinese don't do it, just wondering why a lot of (see, added the quantifier so no one gets angry) Koreans do.


no, it's not a korean thing but your stupidity (or insanity) spurs novelty in manners of thinking, resulting in an evolution of the mind. it's time for you to leave korea.
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Seoulman69



Joined: 14 Dec 2009

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
no, it's not a korean thing but your stupidity (or insanity) spurs novelty in manners of thinking, resulting in an evolution of the mind. it's time for you to leave korea.


Combining this with your other angry and rude posts today it seems you've had a bad weekend. Try to be more positive rather than trying to drag people down into your depressed, angry state of mind.
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hiamnotcool



Joined: 06 Feb 2012

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:51 am    Post subject: Re: Koreans Out Of Their Usual Element Ignoring You Reply with quote

Moondoggy wrote:
metalhead wrote:
I'm curious why some Koreans that you know, that you see on a daily basis, be it in the classroom, the 'bakery', the store -whatevs - totally ignore you when they see you passing by them on the street. Then, for example, the next day, treat you as usual (like, saying hello to you) when they see you back in their little shop.

Is it a culture thing? I swear I've made full-blown eye contact with them and they just look away (cue for someone to mention that I *obviously* was not wearing a suit and tie, how droll).

Is it a Confucius thing? The Taiwanese and Chinese don't do it, just wondering why a lot of (see, added the quantifier so no one gets angry) Koreans do.


no, it's not a korean thing but your stupidity (or insanity) spurs novelty in manners of thinking, resulting in an evolution of the mind. it's time for you to leave korea.


Moondoggy, your answer pretty much confirms that the OP is not paranoid and there are some people here that dislike him and want him to go home. I'm not sure how you think you are defending Korea by acting like this, but by all means carry on. We can all learn from someone like you.
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PREEST



Joined: 20 Jan 2013

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

waynehead wrote:
Ye gods, not everything every individual person does makes it a "Korean" thing. Maybe that particular individual is a little odd, maybe you know a lot of odd people and run into them frequently (although I'm reminded of the saying, "If you can't spot the sucker at the table, you're the sucker"). Do you greet them in Korean when you see them? All of the people in my neighborhood who I see regularly, the building ajeoshi, the drink-carts lady, the 7-11 clerks, all nod and respond kindly to my "안녕하세요?"s


This x10000.

It is rather irritating to hear when people have some kind of experience with one Korean person, then all of a sudden it's 'Why do Koreans...Blah blah blah?'

People as described in the OP are everywhere, not just Korea.
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I wonder why the threads about foreigners in Korea feeling cast aside and "butthurt" never end. It's interesting. It must be the foreigners though. Must be us.


Not only us. Also them. But not only them. You get native habits and attitudes combined with our attitudes.

Some Koreans interact with us and get butthurt that we don't pull out the red treatment and the royal carpet for them and expect them to go with the flow when hanging out with us. Likewise, when we live in their country that we shouldn't expect to be warmly greeted every time we step out to Family Mart.

And again if everyone DID warmly greet them, people would complain about not being able to be left alone when walking down the street. Seriously, wait 3-6 months for the next wave of newbies and there will be some thread where someone complains about not being able to walk down the street in peace.

Koreans go right, people scream they should go left. Koreans go left, people scream they should go right. And if Koreans go straight, people scream they should go in reverse and do a u-turn, then make a left and then a right.

Stop worrying so much about how they are supposed to be treating you and worry about how you're supposed to be treating yourself.
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hiamnotcool



Joined: 06 Feb 2012

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:
Quote:
I wonder why the threads about foreigners in Korea feeling cast aside and "butthurt" never end. It's interesting. It must be the foreigners though. Must be us.


Not only us. Also them. But not only them. You get native habits and attitudes combined with our attitudes.

Some Koreans interact with us and get butthurt that we don't pull out the red treatment and the royal carpet for them and expect them to go with the flow when hanging out with us. Likewise, when we live in their country that we shouldn't expect to be warmly greeted every time we step out to Family Mart.

And again if everyone DID warmly greet them, people would complain about not being able to be left alone when walking down the street. Seriously, wait 3-6 months for the next wave of newbies and there will be some thread where someone complains about not being able to walk down the street in peace.

Koreans go right, people scream they should go left. Koreans go left, people scream they should go right. And if Koreans go straight, people scream they should go in reverse and do a u-turn, then make a left and then a right.

Stop worrying so much about how they are supposed to be treating you and worry about how you're supposed to be treating yourself.


Yeah some people would complain if they said hi, but you need to stop pretending like the same person is making all these posts. It's like you created an imaginary foreigner that is making a bunch of contradictory claims here. The OP isn't even complaining, just asking if there is some cultural reason that this is happening. I disagree that this type of thing happens to the same extent here as it does in other countries. There is a clear division between the locals here and the foreigners. Koreans acknowledge this. Almost every person I have met here that isn't Korean, including other Asians, acknowledge this. A lot of Koreans don't want anything to do with foreigners. I know exactly what the OP is talking about. So unless you have some advice to the OP as to WHY this is happening, maybe you need to stop calling people "butthurt" because they are a little annoyed at the way some Korean people treat them like they aren't human.

Anybody here work at a hakwon where the Koreans aren't allowed to talk to the Native speakers outside of work? Do you think that happens everywhere Steelrails? No. Maybe they told the OPs coworkers the same thing.

I'm not worried about how I'm being treated as much as you seem to think I am. If I couldn't handle some of the ways Koreans behave in their cultural setting I wouldn't live here. I at least acknowledge it though, I don't live in denial.
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nautilus



Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 5:12 pm    Post subject: Re: h Reply with quote

nicwr2002 wrote:
Think about it, if you were working at a store in your home country and you just happen to see someone you remember visiting your store before, would you say Hi to them? .


If I was at home yes, I'd acknowledge anybody I knew in the street. At least with nod or a wave.

Certainly anyone I worked with.
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well the Koreans I work with always greet each other if they pass on the street. We go out to lunch in different groups, if you bump into the other group there is a quick "director X, where do you goto lunch today...oh that's nice" and then a bow and depart.

I remarked to my coworker how courtious and nice it all appears. He said, well we don't really want to talk to them probably, but out of respect we do a few quick words and a bow.

Basically if they are not addressing you, you should go curse them out in Korean and insult their family's manners!! Wink
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hiamnotcool wrote:
Steelrails wrote:
Quote:
I wonder why the threads about foreigners in Korea feeling cast aside and "butthurt" never end. It's interesting. It must be the foreigners though. Must be us.


Not only us. Also them. But not only them. You get native habits and attitudes combined with our attitudes.

Some Koreans interact with us and get butthurt that we don't pull out the red treatment and the royal carpet for them and expect them to go with the flow when hanging out with us. Likewise, when we live in their country that we shouldn't expect to be warmly greeted every time we step out to Family Mart.

And again if everyone DID warmly greet them, people would complain about not being able to be left alone when walking down the street. Seriously, wait 3-6 months for the next wave of newbies and there will be some thread where someone complains about not being able to walk down the street in peace.

Koreans go right, people scream they should go left. Koreans go left, people scream they should go right. And if Koreans go straight, people scream they should go in reverse and do a u-turn, then make a left and then a right.

Stop worrying so much about how they are supposed to be treating you and worry about how you're supposed to be treating yourself.


Yeah some people would complain if they said hi, but you need to stop pretending like the same person is making all these posts. It's like you created an imaginary foreigner that is making a bunch of contradictory claims here. The OP isn't even complaining, just asking if there is some cultural reason that this is happening. I disagree that this type of thing happens to the same extent here as it does in other countries. There is a clear division between the locals here and the foreigners. Koreans acknowledge this. Almost every person I have met here that isn't Korean, including other Asians, acknowledge this. A lot of Koreans don't want anything to do with foreigners. I know exactly what the OP is talking about. So unless you have some advice to the OP as to WHY this is happening, maybe you need to stop calling people "butthurt" because they are a little annoyed at the way some Korean people treat them like they aren't human.


You can have different divisions within countries. People from the south or black folks in America regard some midwesterners and northerners as cold and unfriendly. When making introductions and greetings they feel that they are being mistreated.

Some people find it odd that in suburbia people who are next door neighbors don't even know each others' names. They would regard such things as "not treating them like they are human", but that doesn't mean that that is the case.

I think it is very dangerous to start throwing around phrases like "not treating them like they are human" when clearly there are different expectations of social interaction that can exist within communities. In Korea you can get vastly different treatment depending on whether you are in a big city or a small town. Also, that fails to account for individual's personalities. Some people are cold, some are not.

Lastly, we should consider the possibility that the OP is a socially awkward dunce or a creeper. Maybe the OP has a reputation for engaging in unseemly behavior. A bunch of other posters have mentioned that they get the opposite treatment.

Personally, I've seen both. Furthermore, I didn't take issue with the OP's post specifically but those that are upset by not being greeted. The OP asked a genuine question. Some chose to make value judgments.

As for "butthurt" and "contradictory" claims, yes, that does happen. You'll get a post like this and people will say "Our culture back home means that people are nice and friendly" and then when it comes to Koreans being overly friendly they say "Our culture back home respects people's space and free time and isn't smothering".

There's no "culture" with their thinking, there's just arbitrary judgment.
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Moondoggy



Joined: 07 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Koreans Out Of Their Usual Element Ignoring You Reply with quote

hiamnotcool wrote:
Moondoggy wrote:
metalhead wrote:
I'm curious why some Koreans that you know, that you see on a daily basis, be it in the classroom, the 'bakery', the store -whatevs - totally ignore you when they see you passing by them on the street. Then, for example, the next day, treat you as usual (like, saying hello to you) when they see you back in their little shop.

Is it a culture thing? I swear I've made full-blown eye contact with them and they just look away (cue for someone to mention that I *obviously* was not wearing a suit and tie, how droll).

Is it a Confucius thing? The Taiwanese and Chinese don't do it, just wondering why a lot of (see, added the quantifier so no one gets angry) Koreans do.


no, it's not a korean thing but your stupidity (or insanity) spurs novelty in manners of thinking, resulting in an evolution of the mind. it's time for you to leave korea.


Moondoggy, your answer pretty much confirms that the OP is not paranoid and there are some people here that dislike him and want him to go home. I'm not sure how you think you are defending Korea by acting like this, but by all means carry on. We can all learn from someone like you.


I don't generalize 10000 foreign ESL teachers in Korea but this ignoramus does.
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Koreans Out Of Their Usual Element Ignoring You Reply with quote

Moondoggy wrote:
I don't generalize 10000 foreign ESL teachers in Korea but this ignoramus does.


It has been getting too peaceful around here...we need bloodshed dammit.
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hiamnotcool



Joined: 06 Feb 2012

PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

KimchiNinja wrote:
Well the Koreans I work with always greet each other if they pass on the street. We go out to lunch in different groups, if you bump into the other group there is a quick "director X, where do you goto lunch today...oh that's nice" and then a bow and depart.

I remarked to my coworker how courtious and nice it all appears. He said, well we don't really want to talk to them probably, but out of respect we do a few quick words and a bow.

Basically if they are not addressing you, you should go curse them out in Korean and insult their family's manners!! Wink


Actually aren't the younger people supposed to greet first here? Maybe that is OP's problem.
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