Job Discussion Forums

[Capergirl]

Dear Teacher Lindsay,
Thank you for putting my name "in lights" as it were. What have I done to garner so much attention from you? Well, whatever it was, I do feel that I ought now to return the favour. As the saying goes, "'Tis better to give than to receive". I hope you are not too humourless and/or conservative to enjoy it, Lindsay.

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On Dave's there's a teacher named Lindsay
Who lacks character, mirth, and whimsy
It seems that he preaches
Far more than he teaches
His posts, like his privates, are flimsy


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Teacher Lindsay goes door-to-door

Teacher Lindsay, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
Teacher Lindsay said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told him the paint and other materials that he might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does he realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "He should, he was standing on it."
A short time later,Teacher Lindsay came to the door to collect his money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," Lindsay answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50, gave it to him and said he'd call him whenever he had another job for him to do.
Teacher Lindsay thanked him and as he was walking back down the path, he called out "And by the way, I thought you should know that it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."


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Teacher Lindsay, the married guy

Teacher Lindsay left work on Friday afternoon, but instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade of his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her just a little out of the corner of his left eye.


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Teacher Lindsay, the single guy

Teacher Lindsay was shopping at his local supermarket where he selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.


As he was unloading his items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk woman standing behind him watched as he placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up his purchases, the drunk woman calmly stated, "You must be single."

Teacher Lindsay was a bit startled by this proclamation, but he was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since he was indeed single.
He looked at his six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about his selections that could have tipped off the drunk to his marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk woman replied, "'Cause you're ugly."



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"Eat my shorts, Man"

[johnslat]

Well, Teacher Lindsay - you wanted funny; you wanted light-hearted.

I'm reminded of the adage:

Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it.

Regards,
John

[Teacher in Rome]

Nice one Capergirl!

[Shaman]

Well done, Capes!

I'll echo johnslat's sentiments. Do you still find Capergirl humorless, TL? Or will you answer my question with another question?

Shaman

[Gordon]

Touche as Scot likes to say.

[Eijse]

...

[Will.]

On a rare ocasion from work...
I see, Lindsay is a man... I thought she was a woman and this was all a little bit,,,ing amongst girls so I never gatecrashed.
Well, in the case of nonconfirmation to the contrary I expect he/she is tracking this thread. ....

[denise]

Capergirl, you rock!!!!!!!

d

[Bindair Dundat]

[khmerhit]

Hah!! Good one, CG. You are the dog's bollocks. OOOOPS--I mean---oh, you know what I mean....

khmer

[Teacher Lindsay]

Capergirl

I think your selection of jokes further illustrates your conservative (prudish?) personality.

I don't suppose yours was an immaculate conception?

By the way, what is a half-gallon of 2% milk?

Shaman

Do you dislike people answering your questions with questions?

Cheers

[scot47]

Game,set and match to Ms Capergirl !

[Guest]

Lindsay seems to pick people out at random to pick on from time to time - as he has done with me in the past.

As a fellow Australian, I can only apologise for him on behalf of all Australians. I think he is an unhappy man and I only hope that he finds living in China as rewarding and fulfilling as I do.

[schely10]

THAT was funny Good job caper!

[Teacher Lindsay]