Job Discussion Forums

[Hector_Lector]

Hello, North American people.

I just thought I would come and annoy you.

Question - why do so many Americans go abroad to try to teach English when so few of you actually speak a decent version of it?

Having annoyed you, I will now retreat.

[ls650]

[johnslat]

Dear Hector_Lector,

[stillnosheep]

Fugging surrender-eating cheese monkeys

[johnslat]

Dear stillnosheep,
For goodness sake - get it right.

It's - "cheese surrendering monkey eaters".

The "fugging", however, will do just fine.
Regards,
Jean

[denise]

I's real smart, and real good at grammer, to.

d

[Brooks]

where are you from Hector?
Scotland?
East London?
Did you learn RP?

[Hector_Lector]

Hello, Brooks.

I am from Scotland, and grew up speaking fine broad Scots.

However, as we have (or had) a wonderful educational system in Scotland, we also learnt the language of those south of the border.

To defeat one�s enemy, one must know one�s enemy.

[johnslat]

Dear Hector_Lector,

[tara_lee_anne]

Hector,

Obviously geography isn't your strong suit. Otherwise you may have noticed that North America consists of more than the United States. I live in North America, but am definetly not american (no offence to those who are). I am just a proud Canadian!

[johnslat]

Dear tara_lee_anne,

Main Entry: 1Amer�i�can
Pronunciation: &-'mer-&-k&n, -'m&r-, -'mar-, -i-k&n
Function: noun
1 : an American Indian of No. America or So. America
2 : a native or inhabitant of No. America or So. America
3 : a citizen of the U.S.

I suspect Hector was using the 2nd meaning, wanting to annoy as many people as possible. More bang for the buck that way.
Regards,
John

[Hector_Lector]

Ron has gone.

Poor Nancy.

When he was President, we laughed at him.

Now you have Bush.

What else can we say?

[The Great Wall of Whiner]

Well, I guess it's time to make fun of Scotland.

Scotland:

- No wife? No problem! Grab a sheep!

- Scotland. Where they pronounce it "Scooootlun"

- Um, nice dress you're wearing Mr. Scott

- Put that bottle of Scotch down and get back to work Mr. bus driver!

- Haggis, made by hags specially for their skirt-wearing men.

- We're going to make a wall called "Hesperus"* to keep the English out. But it's only 6 inches tall yet many hundreds of miles long. Will it work?

- Here's a lump of coal. Trade you for a swig of Scotch laddy?

- Hello. My name is Pillip McCracky and I wear a kilt for a reason.

- Playing the bagpipe gives my lips good practice for my night job in the seedy part of Glasgow.





Lame I know.

But it's all in the name of making fun of others, right Hector?


*(I meant to say Hadrian's Wall, but was drunk when I wrote this)

[Hector_Lector]

Great stuff!

We need more of these!

[grahamb]

It's only Aberdeen supporters who do unnatural things with sheep. The rest of us prefer women. Anyway, I've seen "Deliverance". I know what you guys get up to at the weekend (note the correct preposition!).
Haggis is not made, it's hunted for the benefit of gullible tourists from the Land of the Free.
Hadrian's Wall was built by the Romans to keep us out. So much for their military prowess. Fair play to them, they also built Antonine's wall to keep the Glaswegians out of the north. Weegies, as we call them, are the ones who eat the "d" in "Scotland". They haven't got enough to eat, you see, having spent all their dole (welfare) money on booze and drugs.
Philip McCracky is Irish, so we accept no responsibility for him.
Now go away and learn how to pronounce "McKay" properly.
Have a nice day, y'all!