Job Discussion Forums

[john123]

I have a student (a 40 something wannabe entrepreneur would best describe him) who has recently been downright offensive.

It stems from one time I hadn't heard of something or other (probably a piece of technology), to which he muttered: 'Have you been living a cave for the last ten years or something?' Now, I can weigh up the difference between a joke and outright ridicule.

Recently, he has sought confirmation in his mocking tone, e.g. skype - you know what it is yeah? Zuckerberg, you know who he is? Powerpoint, you know what it is, right? England, you know it's a country, right? ... Ok, the first three are real examples.

How do you grit your teeth and soldier on? I can't do much because he is friends with my Boss. One time I was absolutely raging inside..

[johnslat]

Dear john123,

I might tell him, "You know, of course, that everyone is ignorant. No one can know everything." And then, I'd spout off about some area I knew a LOT about that he most probably didn't know much, if anything about.

And I'd finish with a smile and, "See what I mean?"

Regards,
John

[nomad soul]

I know you're tempted, but violence is not the answer.

If you're sure the guy isn't having marital or girlfriend issues (or both), he might be feeling insecure/inferior because someone may have recently ridiculed him for his less-than-stellar English language skills. (Hopefully, not the wife and/or girlfriend.) And now he takes it out on you because in his mind, you're the reason for his less-than-stellar English language skills. Just guessing, of course. So instead of wringing the guy's neck, try the following:

Option 1: Calmly ignore his juvenile sniping and eventually, he'll stop the behavior.

Option 2: Say nothing, but give him a raised-eyebrow "look" over the top of your glasses (assuming you wear glasses). Then let out a huge sigh. He might stop his obnoxious behavior.

Option 3: Give him a big cheesy smile and say, "Sure, everyone knows that! Now let's move on..." He'll likely stop the behavior because he's not getting the reaction he expects.

Option 4: Give him a small cheesy smile and say, "No. So why don't you tell me about it." When he realizes his own knowledge is limited, he'll likely stop the behavior.

Option 5: At the end of his next lesson, ask him outright why his tone has changed and if he's having any issues using English outside the classroom. He may fess up or just clam up. Either way, if he thinks you're on to him, he'll likely stop the behavior.

Option 6: Ask him if he wants to continue his lessons with you; otherwise, you'd be happy to find him a more suitable instructor since he doesn't seem to be satisfied with you.

Option 7: Get a voodoo doll, and using long sharp pins, strategically stick...

Option 8: Get a new job.

[Teacher in Rome]

The guy sounds like he's got confidence and anger issues. He's angry because he's been told to take English classes perhaps when he thinks he's King "Sh*t" because he's some hot entrepreneur.

So what. It happens. People get defensive because they realise they're not the greatest. Don't let it get to you. Perhaps he's testing you - bouncing his anger and lack of confidence off you. Let him. Don't get ruffled. Move on to the next part of the lesson. Focus on what he needs to learn in English.

When he understands he's not pushing your buttons, you can move on to giving him air time (I'm assuming you're teaching a group.) Get your students to take it in turns to explain something, present something they're expert in... He can show off to his heart's content then, but for now, I'd say he needs the reassurance that you're there to teach him English, that you won't get het up over "tantrums" and snarky comments, and that you're 100% the professional.

I think that as soon as you start focussing on his English needs and ignoring his comments, he'll stop playing up. It might take a few sessions, and you most definitely need to practise a bland expression. (Seethe all you like with voodoo dolls outside the classroom tho!)

[john123]

Dear Teacher in Rome and Johnslat
Thank you.

Dear Nomad Soul.
Of course, violence is not the answer. I do like option 3 - the cheesy smile and common knowledge strategy.

This is an individual class.

Regards

John

[johntpartee]

[it'snotmyfault]

Say that you've provided a new curriculum especially for him...

Week 1: String theory.
An active research framework in particle physics that attempts to reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity. Discuss

Week 2: Classical Indian philosophy.
Answer the following questions:
What is the ontological nature of consciousness?
How is cognition itself experienced?
Is mind (chit) intentional or not?
Does cognition have its own structure?

[HLJHLJ]

I've had this problem before and I just treated it as an English problem. I told her we needed to do a little work on her intonation becomes if you get it wrong when you are clarifying something it makes you sound very rude. She knew exactly what she was doing of course, but I pulled her up everytime and 'corrected' her intonation so that she sounded
more polite. She tired of it before I did and dropped the attitude.

[Sashadroogie]

Agree with HLJHLJ. This probably isn't a linguistic problem but treat it as one. Start off by saying that in anglophone culture that type of comment will be interpreted as crass and offensive and would most likely provoke a harsh reply. He knows that right? : ) It is your duty as a teacher to help him overcome this shortcoming...

Had a similar experience with a corporate student. She was very disagreeable, and became downright rude. She was also pregnant, which I suppose may have had something to do with it. In any case I actually did lose my composure and in response to yet another mentally aggressive comment of hers, I shot out "Do you always behave like this? Or is it just when you are pregnant?"

Most unprofesh, I know. But I have lost very little sleep over it, and was quite happy when the school I was freelancing for informed me that her timetable didn't allow for any more lessons.

[PC Parrot]

Why not have a reading lesson:

'Inside the Mind of an Egomaniac'

Warm up questions -

Other than 'a scumbag w@nker', how would you define 'egomaniac'?
Do you know any egomaniacs?
Have you ever suffered at the hands of a vile, repulsive egomaniac?
Do you think egomaniacs should be tied to the back of a pick up truck and dragged 10 times around the city? Why / why not?

Etc ....

[Kofola]

That is a really tricky situation and unpleasant for you.

Unless he has a really really bad sense of humour then you've lost his respect.

Business clients can be tricky, particularly if you're teaching in a society where status is crucial (e.g. the Slav world). I think it can be genuinely difficult for them if they spend all day in a highly specialised environment dealing with people who have major clout to then have some TEFLer who knows very little about their specialism appear at the door to give them an English lesson. In some ways it's demeaning for them. (You may have a doctorate and be a world class teacher, but his clients won't know that when they see you arrive.)

IMO the only way to fix it is to regain his respect and that means showing off your knowledge and expertise in some way. He could just be a total arse but most people will forgive ignorance if they think you are well informed in other areas. You could either go for the trickle effect and just use every opportunity that comes up to show that you know something or you can incorporate relevant topics that you are an expert on into the lesson. Referring to relevant examples of things from the country you're from is another way of doing it - he'd be unlikely to know them so wouldn't be able to challenge you.

Of course, if he's just a total arse then getting rid of him is the only solution.

[spiral78]

Kofola brings up a good point; knowing the guy's nationality would probably help make our suggestions more applicable....

For what it's worth, I have also treated things like this as a language issue. 'In professional business English, this phrase would definitely come across in a way that makes you seem less professional than you are.'

I worked for some years with Dutch speakers of English. The Dutch are very direct in their own language, and this often comes across in their English; they can be perceived as being quite rude. It was totally legitimate to take a language/cultural approach to it.

Of course, if he's just being an ass, while taking it as a language issue might be a tactic, it's unlikely to help much....

Bottom line is that we all end up with unpleasant students now and then - impossible to please all of the people all of the time. You might mention to your employer that this particular class isn't going well and ask for his/her advice and assistance.

[Sashadroogie]

Still think my brutalist method is the best : )

Is he pregnant, by any chance?

[johntpartee]

No, your brutalist method AIN'T best; I didn't like your comments about Bill Bryson. Meany.

[Sashadroogie]

Ah, Johntpartee, sorry for my comments about Bryson. He is a gifted writer, full of original insight - not a talentless hack out to milk his surprising fame for all it is worth. OK? Does this make amends? Am I still a meany?