Job Discussion Forums

Sweetsee · Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 2302 Location: ) is everything

How many know HS Japanese Teachers married to their former students?

How does society view student/teacher relationships?

And how many of you date your students? How many would admit it?

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

My uni is also pretty paranoid about any hint of sexual harassment. We all had to rearrange our offices so that nothing could visually block the view from the little window in our door. Better be safe than sorry and harassment can go both ways.

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

Mike L. · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 519

I know a school teacher at a prestigeous girls JHS/SHS in Tokyo who married a former student who he intially taught in JHS.

He's about 50 something she's about 25.. This guy is a real parasite who was hired in the bubble and is buck lazy!!!

He does virtually nothing all day. He doesn't even attempt to teach. He has the children drawing a comic book all term. Truely pathetic!!

The school just hasn't been able to get rid of him. He threatened to sue them if they did since he's been there so long!!!

If they had a little more courage they could mange it I'm sure!!

As an ALT I also taught with one Japanese teacher who also married a former student he taught in JHS.

The offical story was that they met "again" after she finished high school but nobody believes that!!

What I don't unfederstand is where are the fathers in this equasion?

If it were my daughter I'd say "Go away or you will dissapear!!!"

I would be that up front about it...

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Sweetsee,
Why do you want to know?

Sweetsee · Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 2302 Location: ) is everything

Glenski,

That's it? Why do you want to know?

I am interested in how to know how the relationships are perceived by others.

Presumably, the teacher was courting the student while under the teacher's charge and more than likely already married.

I believe it is taboo in some home countries.

Plus, I think it's weak that foreign teachers crack on to their students.

Cheers,
S

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

Joannda · Joined: 07 Jun 2004 Posts: 43 Location: Japan!

An interresting topic but surely not one that is limited to Japan? I have to admit it is a bit worrying if a 50 year old guy marries a 25 year old chick, but from what I could tell when I was in Japan in 2000, Japanese chicks are suckers for foreign guys, whether young, old, hot or ugly... Anyways, it happens here in NZ too though, and I'm sure no one can argue it doesn't happen where they come from? A girl I went to high school with started dating one of the Phys Ed teachers at our school, and they are still together now. Admittedly, the teacher did leave the school after a year. I also know of an ex-tutor at the uni where I tutor now, who started dating one of her students while she was still teaching him, and they are now married! I mean, who knows where you'll find 'the one' or whatever? I'm sure not all teachers who start a relationship with a student are pedophiles or whatever...?

sidjameson · Joined: 11 Jan 2004 Posts: 629 Location: osaka

Things do seem to be different here.
I used to teach 4 very respectable upper (at least) middle class house wives. One day one told the class that her 18 year old daughter had a boyfriend. Her teacher from her high school. He is 26, I think.
On the surface at least I was the onl one who registered surprize. The other ladies actually took it as good news.
Again they "started" dating after she graduated. Two years later they are still together and happy.

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

Joannda

FWIW I come from New Zealand and when i was at university there was a rather famous woman (wont mention any names) who made a name for herself overseas and when she came back to New Zealand was apparently sleeping with the dean of Law school, who helped her get legal jobs I believe when she graduated. The dean at that time was in his 70's.

S___ happens and they are adults.

Obviously things get messy because of the power relationship, where a teacher is in control of a the students grades or their welfare and personal issues get mixed up with professional and education considerations. What happens about failing them or giving them a lower grade etc. Seeming favoritism etc can be problematic too.

How does one say no to a teacher's advances or vice-versa? At least with university students you are dealing with adults, but ultimately its the schools reputation and having to deal with parents, perhaps jealousy or resentment by other students and the resulting fallout etc.

Im sure alls fair in love and war and its great if a couple can find each other even if one is in high school, but to surrounding people it can be an unnecessary distraction and fraught with potential problems outside of the couple themselves.

Brooks · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1369 Location: Sagamihara

one Japanese teacher I know married his former student.
He is a high school teacher. He comes from a rich family (family has a business in Nagoya).
To me it is pretty clear who the boss is: his wife.
They live in a nice suburb just ten minutes from Shibuya with lots of stores that sell expensive things from abroad (French clothes, etc.).
He told me yesterday that his wife ordered him to take the train two days a week instead of driving because he is starting to get fat.

Sweetsee · Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 2302 Location: ) is everything

Paulh,

That'd be Japanese teacher.

Cheers,
S

lajzar · Joined: 09 Feb 2003 Posts: 647 Location: Saitama-ken, Japan

TokyoLiz · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1548 Location: Tokyo, Japan

Yep, I've met a senior high school teacher who married his student and now has kids.

The concept of professional conduct is entirely different in Japan... That's all I can say.